Parade of Homes

We caught the last day of the Denver Parade of Homes in Reunion (a planned community out by the airport). We usually try to at least walk through the houses each year -- the decorating ideas are great, and it's fun to see the 1-2 million dollar houses and drool over the luxury items.

This year, there was one absolutely fabulous stand-out in the six houses on the parade -- the Grand Cannoli --yes, named after Italian sweets -- but it was absolutely jaw-droppingly gorgeous. The other houses had some nifty features (a nice theater here, a cool wine cellar, basement bar, etc) but this house was stunning, top to bottom. The Tuscan-style house has open courtyards, lots of indoor-outdoor spaces, and a truly amazing, two-tier kitchen. I'm in love. I'm especially in love with the his-and-hers bathroom (on the bottom of the floorplan above) and the vaulted kitchen -- it has a "back kitchen" and a "front kitchen". Just...wow.

Of course, I don't have a cool 2 million to move in. Sigh.

Ghetto Bathroom Chic

Well, I am in trouble. Nin is still speaking to me, but after the debacle that was painting her bathroom, I'm a little surprised.

She picked this lovely cranberry color for the bathroom walls -- great, rich, color. Home Depot sold us 'Kitchen and Bathroom' paint, which is some sort of special gloss paint with mildew and mold resistance. Ok, it's a bathroom and she doesn't have an exhaust fan. Good plan.

Well, not so good. First off, it went on like glaze instead of paint. Almost transparent. Now, red paint has a tendency to do this. WIth all the pigment required to make red, the paint is thin and often requires 3-4 coats to cover, even over tinted primer. But this was like watercolors. We think it had something to do with the extra glossiness and additives. So -- many coats.

We did two coats while we were there, and she did another two coats. Looked pretty good. But when she tried to put up the shower curtain rod or pull off the masking tape....huge sheets of paint came off, too. It was all weird and rubbery and she could separate it from the wall in great hunks. Just brushing against the wall sometimes took off big pieces of paint.

Which also pulled off the previous coat of paint, the one beneath that, and in some cases chunks of the wallboard or plaster beneath it. It was a a horror show. The whole room started to look like it had shredded.

What we think happened (in retrospect) was that the previous owner, in a fit of home-improvement to sell the house, had painted a new layer of OIL-based semi-gloss over a layer of LATEX semi-gloss without priming or doing any prep. It just peeled off like skin, according to Nin. When we added another layer of paint, which should have been fine, it just glommed on to the top layer of oil paint and then the whole shebang just sort of slid off the wall.

So, she has a bathroom that has bits of red, bits of cream, bits of blue, places where the wallboard has come off in chunks, and places where the plaster is crumbly. But, because she needs to use the bathroom, she has put up the mirror and lights and (to my amusement) put up the pictures in the bathroom. She has been laughing that it's ghetto chic, and should just spray a layer of lacquer over the top and live with it.

She's going ot have to skim coat the wall, possibly more than once, prime and then repaint. What a pain in the ass. Welcome to Home Ownership!

Ghetto Bathroom Chic

Well, I am in trouble. Nin is still speaking to me, but after the debacle that was painting her bathroom, I'm a little surprised.

She picked this lovely cranberry color for the bathroom walls -- great, rich, color. Home Depot sold us 'Kitchen and Bathroom' paint, which is some sort of special gloss paint with mildew and mold resistance. Ok, it's a bathroom and she doesn't have an exhaust fan. Good plan.

Well, not so good. First off, it went on like glaze instead of paint. Almost transparent. Now, red paint has a tendency to do this. WIth all the pigment required to make red, the paint is thin and often requires 3-4 coats to cover, even over tinted primer. But this was like watercolors. We think it had something to do with the extra glossiness and additives. So -- many coats.

We did two coats while we were there, and she did another two coats. Looked pretty good. But when she tried to put up the shower curtain rod or pull off the masking tape....huge sheets of paint came off, too. It was all weird and rubbery and she could separate it from the wall in great hunks. Just brushing against the wall sometimes took off big pieces of paint.

Which also pulled off the previous coat of paint, the one beneath that, and in some cases chunks of the wallboard or plaster beneath it. It was a a horror show. The whole room started to look like it had shredded.

What we think happened (in retrospect) was that the previous owner, in a fit of home-improvement to sell the house, had painted a new layer of OIL-based semi-gloss over a layer of LATEX semi-gloss without priming or doing any prep. It just peeled off like skin, according to Nin. When we added another layer of paint, which should have been fine, it just glommed on to the top layer of oil paint and then the whole shebang just sort of slid off the wall.

So, she has a bathroom that has bits of red, bits of cream, bits of blue, places where the wallboard has come off in chunks, and places where the plaster is crumbly. But, because she needs to use the bathroom, she has put up the mirror and lights and (to my amusement) put up the pictures in the bathroom. She has been laughing that it's ghetto chic, and should just spray a layer of lacquer over the top and live with it.

She's going ot have to skim coat the wall, possibly more than once, prime and then repaint. What a pain in the ass. Welcome to Home Ownership!

The Great Book Migration

The basement has been finished for a few weeks now (finally!) and I have all these lovely bookshelves to fill down there. When I mentioned this to a friend, he sighed and pointed out how much work it was going to be. And exercise, he said helpfully, from hauling all those books down the stairs.

Well, I have a two-wheeler for that. But as for me, I look on this as a great Reorganization and Classification Opportunity. Which books shall I move downstairs? Just the new ones, willy nilly? Or perhaps all the travel books, or language books and dictionaries? Maybe the history books or home improvement books? Technical books? Fiction?

Ooh, the possibilities are endless! It's a chance to actually go through the books and organize them, since with the roughly 70' of new shelving, it is quite likely that every book will have shelfspace (as opposed to the current model, where nearly every horizontal surface has a book or two piled on it).

Personally, I like the 'books everywhere' decorating plan. But, it does get a bit overwhelming, and the Adorable Husband has begun to fidget and twitch when the piles get too high. He, of course, laughed heartily at my obvious excitement about going through the books once again. Because, of course, I have already gone through ALL the books in the house to scan them into Book Collector and track them by title, cover picture, etc. He's joking that I'll have them Dewey-decimalized by the time I'm done.

Obviously, I'm a repressed Librarian. I wonder what sort of career change that would make?

Air Force One Charges

Bush is giving a series of speeches geared to 'explain' what's going on in Iraq, and bolster support for his vanity war. He's been revving up the biblical references, spouting 'fascism' and generally waving his hands around to try to distract everyone from what's actually going on.

"They're not political speeches," he said. "They're speeches about the future of this country, and they're speeches to make it clear that if we retreat before the job is done, this nation would become even more in jeopardy. These are important times, and I seriously hope people wouldn't politicize these issues that I'm going to talk about."

Not political speeches? Huh? Aren't they about policy? Aren't they intended to influence opinion? Aren't they a call to action from his base to support him? Aren't they aimed at the public?

They're political speeches.

No matter what you say they are, the fact is, they are political. Of course they are. And he hopes that people won't politicize these issues? Just what kind of issues does he think they are, if not political?

But if anyone disagrees with him, he can accuse them of "being political", which he is wont to do. Oh no, he's not political, but if you actually expect answers from him than you are obviously political and partisan and unpatriotic.

Of course, by claiming that they aren't not political speeches, all of the travel is basically billed to the US taxpayer. All those Air Force One jaunts across the country are on the taxpayer's dime instead of being paid for by the GOP.

Is that a Loafer or a Mule?

A bit closer to home, local gubernatorial candidate Bob Beauprez once again stuck his foot in his mouth, big time. He's always been an ass, but apparently he is willing to say just about anything to try to get points.

Last week, he was discussing his position on abortion during an interview with a local radio station. As part of his "platform", he announced that a) abortion is wrong and b) that black women have an appalling number of abortions. This was his "support" for his statement:

"I've seen numbers as high as 70 percent, maybe even more, in the African-American community that I think is just appalling,"

Apparently he just pulled that number right out of his ass, in an attempt to gain support from "his base". It has no basis in reality, and only serves to show that he is as bigot as well. Local African-American groups are not accepting his recent apology, either -- they think (and rightly so) that this is just a glimpse of what he is really thinking and not a gaff at all.

It's bad enough that Beauprez repeated the 70 percent number - which he apparently "heard somewhere" but didn't bother to actually check. But what does it say about him that he ever believed it? He can't even be bothered to confirm something he "heard" because he seems to want it to be true so that it can serve his purposes.

The facts? Only 4% of Coloradans are black. They account for about 5% of the abortions in the state. Just what sort of political hay did Bob think he was going to make on the back of such a small group in his home state? Or did he just bring up the spector of "blacks" because it will rile up the neanderthals who support him?

Bob claims that he he "fits colorado" and should be governor (note that this guy is already a congressman). Well, Mr. Beauprez, you certainly don't "fit" me and you don't even come close to representing what we believe in. Perhaps you thought that by insulting minority groups you might gain some points with the whitest of the white? Well, most of us find that entire concept repugnant, and we find you repugnant, too. It might appeal to his right-wing, regressive base to blame the ills of society on "others" who are different, but for most of us, it's simply proof that he's the wrong person for the job.

He needs to sit down and shut up.

Irony Impaired

arlier this week, the illustrious Rumsfield announced that anyone not supporting the president was akin to those who appeased the Nazis. First off, suggesting that there are two positions here: support Bush or support Terrorism is simplistic and stupid. I don't support Bush. I don't support terrorism. I don't know anyone who does (since I don't actually know any terrorists personally). Listen people -- questioning Bush != supporting terrorism. Not in any rational universe. This is a simple logical fallacy: false dichotomy (the black-and-white fallacy). There are far more than two options here, even if the administration is working very hard to convince everyone that there are not.

However, more disturbing to me is that this statement has re-raised the 'publican talking point that we are "fighting fascism" and that the terrorists are "islamo-fascists", a lovely term that Bush threw out into the public arena a few weeks ago.

It's quite obvious that no one in this administration knows what "fascism" is. Here's the basic definition:

Merriam-Webster defines fascism as "a political philosophy, movement, or regime (as that of the Fascisti) that exalts nation and often race above the individual and that stands for a centralized autocratic government headed by a dictatorial leader, severe economic and social regimentation, and forcible suppression of opposition"

It's a pretty broad brush, but since the current crop of terrorists are not part of a nation, nor do they want to make that nation supreme, nor do they have a single leader, they are not fascists. The label doesn't fit. Hell, you have to actually have a central government in order to develop into a fascist state. Here's a quick list of what characteristics make up a fascist state:

1. Exuberant Nationalism - use of patriotic images, flags everywhere, encouragement to use symbols and slogans by the group in power.

2. Enemies Identified - the national cause is identified by unity against an enemy, people are rallied against a common threat often using religious terminology or images. Dissent is seen as treasonous, or 'siding with the enemy'

3. Disdain for Human Rights - the rights of some can be ignored because of the need for security or safety. The concept of individual rights is traded for the promise of safety.

4. Obsession with Secrecy and national security - the actions of the government are hidden and questioning authority is discouraged. Things cannot be questioned because of 'national security', which is invoked whenever difficult questions are asked.

5. Glorification of the Military -- the military gets a disproportionate share of resources, to the detriment of social needs and soldiers and military culture are glorified.

6. Corporations protected - money and power in the corporate world become emneshed in politics, and the worker/labor unions are supressed.

7. Rampant cronyism and corruption in government - power is maintained through a small group who mutually support each other and deflect any scrutiny.

8. Controlled mass media - media is used as an arm of the state (either directly managed or sympathetically) and the message is repeated constantly and without change.

9. Sexism - fascist regimes are male-dominated and traditional gender-roles are demanded. Homophobia is common.

10. Disdain for Intellectuals - ideologically driven "science" is formulated, while any ideas contrary to the state-belief are ridiculed or stamped out. Academics are the brunt of critiscm.

11. Militarized Police - many in society are wiling to forgo civil liberties in the name of patriotism and the police are given free reign to support the state. National police forces are given the power to investigate anyone and surveillance of the public is often employed.

12. Eraudulent elections - fascists stay in power because they control the election of their offices.

13. Religion and Government are Intertwined - the most common religion is used as a tool to manupulate public opinion. Religious rhetoric is common.

The glorification of the state and the ultimate power of those in charge are not the goals of the terrorists in the Middle East. They are not "fascist". However, if you look with a critical eye at our own government, things are a bit too close for comfort. My comfort, at least. (BTW, if you're interested, do a google search on 'signs of fascism' to see some interesting analysis of current governments and how they fit the definition. You made need to dig out your tinfoil hat)

By pointing the finger and shouting 'fascism' at the vague and multi-dimensional group responsible for 'terror', Rumsfield and now Bush are trying to manipulate us. It's a rude, clumsy manipulation, but it plays to the fears of many Americans, and so it works. "You must support us or how else will you be safe?"

The term has come up in nearly every speech that Bush has given lately (even the "not political" (hah!) speeches he's given in the last few days) and the administration is working hard to place that meme in the public sphere. Fascism is bad, Fascism = Nazis, the people who don't worship at our feet are supporting the terrorists...it all starts to fall into place.

How is questioning the president supporting the terrorists? I can't quite figure out how democrats are being cast as the nazis in this scenario -- any helpful conservative out there want to explain it to me? Or not, since I can't imagine any logical support for that particular analogy that doesn't involve serious intellectual dishonesty and spittle flying. Once again, it all banks on the FEAR FEAR FEAR mantra to keep the voting public docile and agreeable. I'm getting quite sick of it. It's the "message of the day" and it's being plumped in the media every time someone in the administration has a speech.

Oh! And the classification of people who don't support the war or the president as unpatriotic, or against the troops, or 'nazi-sympathizers' is arrogant and insulting. And, I wonder, will anyone notice the irony of Bush implying that his dissenters are 'nazi-supporters' -- when his family is clearly implicated in supporting the actual Nazi party while involved in Union Banking Corporation, which is great-grandfather and grandfather ran as board-members in the years leading up to WWII? Union Banking Corporation From Wikipedia

Probably not. Or even if they did, the media isn't going to report it. See #8 or #4 above.

Never Hug a Swiss Cow

You have been warned.

Rulers? Who knew?

Katherine Harris (of the Florida election brouhaha) is running for Congress. She is unsupported by her own party, getting criticism from left and right, and yet she seems to be ignoring it and doing/saying whatever she wants to. Either she's stupid, or she knows something we don't about her chances of being elected. Given her role in getting Bush elected, perhaps she is convinced that she will get 'special' treatment. Or maybe she's going to write a tell-all book, who knows?

She apparently is trying to woo the religious right. While speaking to a Baptist convention, she sounded a fervent evangelical tone, saying that "God chooses our rulers," that voters needed to send Christians to political office and that God did not intend for the United States to be a "nation of secular laws." Hey, since when does the United States have "rulers"? Not quite understanding that concept of representative government, are you, Ms. Harris?

She claims that the separation of church and state is a "lie", and when called on her obviously bigoted remarks that only Christians should be catered to, she said that it was only because she was talking to a christian group. Others in the Republican party have said that Harris doesn't represent mainstream party politics. Perhaps this is true, but I have to admit it's fun to watch her melt down in public. She just keeps opening her mouth and saying the damnest things.

Last week, she claimed that not electing "Christian" politicians will "legislate sin" and, obviously, the failure of American society will closely follow. In the furor that followed that statement, she stuck her foot in her mouth again by claiming:

"I think that our laws, I mean, I look at how the law originated, even from Moses, the 10 Commandments. And I don't believe, that uh . . . That's how all of our laws originated in the United States, period. I think that's the basis of our rule of law."

Well, this might be why she had so many problems with election law and balloting initiatives.

Sorry to break it to you, honey, but no, our rule of law is NOT based solely on religious doctrine. As a matter of fact, "pagan" rulers and cultures have far more influence on our laws and legal processes. Read a little history, for pete's sake, before spouting off to gain some sort of support from the religious right. All good scholars of history know that Moses took his laws from those already in the region, most notably the laws of Hammurabi. So what Harris is arguing that we go back to pagan law-givers and honor their rules. Perhaps things would improve.

I'd like someone to ask her on camera to actually enumerate the 10 commandments. If she's going to don the mantle of the uber-religious, she should be able to talk the talk, too, don't you think?

Telemarketing Counter-Script

Tired of telemarketers who seem to dominate the conversations? Try the attached Counter-Script to be able to take control of the situation and keep those telemarketers on their toes.

Well, we got on the do not call list, and our telemarketing calls are few and far between, but it really is so much fun to mess with them. I feel sorry for the poor schmucks who have to resort to telemarketing calls to make ends meet, but is there anyone who isn't annoyed by these?

Great MN Get-Together

I heard last week that the Minnesota State Fair is the longest-running state fair in the country -- 148 years.

We managed to sneak away from our house-related duties for a quick walk through the main streets of the fairgrounds -- peruse Machinery Hill, gawk at the midway, eat the various fair foods (all "on-a-stick"!) before getting rained on and heading back to the house.

We did discover the best Mini-Donuts (after carefully trying out all the donut stands we could find. We ate three bags of donuts apiece, in about half an hour! (The best donuts, btw, are in the Mini-Donut stand at the entrance to the Grandstand. The Tom Thumb donuts were disappointing.)

We had to laugh at all the food 'on-a-stick', although we weren't able to find the rumored Spaghetti On-A-Stick that arrived last year. My sister had it, and noted that it was more like 'hairy-meatball' on a stick. Pork chops (on-a-stick), Fried Alligator (on-a-stick), Deep-Fried Candy Bars (on-a-stick). Seeing the theme?

The rest of the weekend was spent doing house chores. The Adorable Husband trimmed trees, rewired outlets, fixed gates, installed cabinet knobs. He packed a huge bag of his tools (which did survive being checked in the airplane hold) and went from one end of the house to the other fixing what needed to be fixed. Whatta guy!

I painted with my sister (and with some help from her son, as well) and hung pictures. It's an adorable house, and she has a great sense of style. I'm glad we had a chance to help.

We saw the Adorable Husband's family on Sunday -- the whole family, all the cousins and second-cousins and all the new kids. It was a nice reunion -- a plan they intend to follow every other year, I guess. Dinner with my family was a bit smaller, but just as fun. All-in-all, a lovely weekend.

"Sometimes I'm Happy"

During his August 21 press conference, George W. Bush responded to a question about the Iraq War by saying that "sometimes I'm happy" about the conflict. But many readers and TV viewers never heard the remark, since journalists

I have a feeling that this is a common act in the current adminsitration's watch. McCarthyism is alive and well.

I'm not even sure what the context was (probably it was that he is pleased with progress in the war at some points, not that's happy that there is a war), but hiding it away and editing it out bespeaks of a lack of honesty and integrity in the press. I don't like it.

Plan B Approved

After years of debate (some might say, stalling) the FDA has approved Plan B-- the Morning After Pill -- for over-the-counter use by women 18 and older. Finally!

Under the FDA's decision, Plan B will be kept behind pharmacy counters and can be dispensed only after customers provide proof of their age. The drug has been available with a prescription since 1999.

Despite arguments that selling the pill might 'encourage promiscuity' and long-winded (and entirely false) claims that Plan-B is an abortifacent, it looks like the FDA has finally stepped up and provided women with a viable and safe means of emergency contraception. No, it's not meant as a primary form of contraception (and no one has claimed that it should be used that way), but it does face the reality that birth control fails and that women have the right to determine when to bear children.

I had a discussion recently with a friend, who asked me if I was 'pro-life'. When I explained that I supported a woman's choice, she continually referred to me as 'pro-abortion' -- a trick that many of the extremists use to characterize those who support abortion rights. Um, no.

The opposite of 'pro-life' is NOT 'pro-abortion'. Supporting choice does not mean that I think abortions are fine-and-dandy and should be done on every streetcorner. I don't. Nor does it mean that I think there should be no limits on it. That level of hyperbole is annoying, and intellectually dishonest. I believe that women have the right to choose when to have children, I believe that no one has the right to dictate how and when women can control their own bodies. I wish that there were no abortions, that every single child was planned-for and loved. But I'm a realist, and I will support any woman who chooses to have an abortion if they decide it's the right thing for them to do. Ethically and morally, I feel that I can do no less. I do understand that people on the other side of the argument feel ethically and morally bound to oppose it.

What I'm disturbed by is the subtext of many of the arguments against Plan-B (and also against the recent vaccine for HPV) : conservatives in the Religious Right have argued that making these drugs avaialble might "encourage promiscuity", or somehow suggest to young girls that we are encouraging them to have sex. The subtext here is that a) sex is wrong and bad and b) women must be punished for having it. A case just made it to the court in New York where three pharamacists refused to fill prescriptions for the morning-after-pill, including one pharmacist who actually altered the prescription to show no-refills and then refused to fill it because they felt that the women were "irresponsible" and thus should be denied contraception. WTF?

the supervisor said the pills are intended only for emergencies. She allegedly said women who use it were "being irresponsible" and if they used more than one type of birth control, they wouldn't need it.

What's the logic here? Women who are "irresponsible" and get pregnant should be punished by being forced to become mothers....doesn't anyone see that irresponsible women are going to be irresponsible mothers, too? It makes no sense. But it does play into the "women who have sex are bad" model that many conservatives cling to. Not that I say many, not all. Plenty of people on both sides of the argument are reasonable and realistic. Let's hope that it is this group of people that manages to come out on top.

Pangrams

I'm apparently on a word-bender this week. In a recent article in Wordplay magazine, it was reported that a naturally occuring pangrammatic sentence of only 61 letters showed up in the Feb 17th issue of Entertainment Weekly.

"Then on Jan. 26, Her[zog happened by Joaquin Phoenix's car wreck and pulled the actor from the v]ehicle."

The letters between the brackets represent a 61-letter pangrammatic window - a consecutive block which contains all letters of the alphabet...

That 61-letter span is the smallest naturally occurring window yet discovered

A pangram is (from Wikipedia)

A pangram (Greek: pan gramma, "every letter"), or holoalphabetic sentence, is a sentence which uses every letter of the alphabet at least once.

Usually, they're used to show typefaces -- 'The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" is a designed pangram to show all the letters in the alphabet, as is "How razorback-jumping frogs can level six piqued gymnasts! "

But that particular sentence was written specifically. There appears to be an ongoing word-sleuth search to find naturally occuring pangrammatic sentences (which would seem to be something only savant-level "beautiful mind"-type people can see). I can't imagine that you can just "see" one of these -- I have to believe that some sort of software scans for it, but at least one page assures me that these "jump out" at people who are attuned to them.

However, the article is a bit misleading, as there have been several shorter sentences that qualify:

Lillie de Hagermann-Lindencrone's 1912 book In the Courts of Memory: "I sang, and thought I sang very well; but he just looked up into my face with a very quizzical expression, and said, 'How long have been singing, Mademoiselle?'" at 56 letters.

The May 2006 edition of the magazine reveal a 47-letter example found on the internet: "JoBlo's movie review of The Yards: Mark Wahlberg, Joaquin Phoenix, Charlize Theron...

More listed here, and here even more here.

No Plague!

Aha! The blood tests reveal that I do not have plague and I do not have West Nile. Yeah!

Of course, we still don't know what has me still feeling a bit under the weather -- just a bit slow, occassional low fever -- but it's nothing that the docs are very worried about.

At any rate, it's obviously viral, so there isn't anything to do but treat the symptoms and take it easy. I can do that!

Planning has Commenced

The Adorable Husband commented today that he knew we'd finally decided on a destination for our trip next year, because every day this week, brochures and books have been in the mailbox.

I'm having a hard time finding guides and suggestions for Norway, Sweden, and Denmark. We've decided on Scandinavia, but when and how long and exactly where we'll end up is still up in the air. We're targeting May or June, and will probably go for a month. We're taking any and all suggestions for things that we absolutely have to see, things we should avoid, and tips/tricks for the trip.

More words that I Need to Use

More words from 'The Meaning of Tingo', which I picked up yesterday (and have been giggling through ever since.

uitwaaien (Dutch): To walk in windy weather for fun.

and iktsuarpok (Inuit): To go outside often to see if someone is coming.

Nah, I don't do either of things. Riiiiiight. I've been known to unzip my coat so that i can make big wings and lean into the wind and walk downhill...and if you've ever seen me before a party, you know that I absolutely iktsuarpok.

I cannot recommend this book highly enough -- it's had me laughing out loud for hours.

Where is that, again?

This is definitely related to the previous posts of appalling geographic ignorance. This is from a note that my mother-in-law sent this week, regarding their upcoming trip.

My ILs are going to Malawi in September as part of a building/charity trip, and one of the recommendations is to get Malaria pills. So, my MIL dutifully goes to the doc, gets the appropriate prescription and picks up the pills.

The insurance company beancounters apparently did not like the claim, and have disputed it. Malaria pills? Huh? What for? We don't cover that.

So my MIL calls the insurance contact and explains that the pills are for their upcoming trip and were suggested by the state department, etc.

"For vacation?" the bright-and-cheery clueless insurance twit says. "Where are you going?"

"Malawi."

There is a palpable silence, and then the insurance twit asks, "And what zipcode is that?"

Words, Glorious Words

There's a lovely book out there -- There's a Word For It -- that has words for some actions and thoughts that English simply doesn't cover. We should adopt these words. We should use them. They are lovely words.

My favorites? Three from the Pascurnse language of Easter Island, which really seem to imply that the island was a wee bit too small and that family and community relations were often a bit strained;

Tingo: outrageous borrowing, taking all the objects one desires from the house of a friend, one at a time, by borrowing them, until nothing remains.

Which is then closely related to hakamaroo: to keep borrowed objects until the owner has to ask for them back.

The borrower, a passive-agressive poster child, may then have feelings of anga anga, a groundless thought that people are gossiping about you.

I love these words. This pretty much describes my relationship with the Library.

Other great words -- drachenfutter, a german word for the peace-offering gift from a guilty husband to his wife. It means, literally, Dragon's Food. Another good German word would be good for those of us working in officies: radfahrer, someone who flatters superiors and browbeats subordinates.

Name the Seven Dwarfs

Can you name the Seven Dwarfs?

Ok. Can you name the current Supreme Court Justices?

If you got more of the dwarfs than Justices, you are in good company. Well, maybe not "good" -- Americans, according to a Zogby poll of pop culture, are three times as likely to be able to name two of the dwarfs as they are two of the justices. 75% of people could name at least two dwarfs, while only 25% could name two current justices.

More people could identify Harry Potter than Tony Blair. Three times as many people could name Bart Simpson than knew the names of the Odyssey and Iliad. 60% can name Superman's home planet, but only 37% knew Mercury is closest to the sun. Twice as many (23%) can name the last winner of American Idol than can name the last SC Justice (11%). Yikes!

And even scarier:

Respondents were far more familiar with the Three Stooges – Larry, Curly and Moe – than the three branches of the U.S. government – judicial, executive and legislative. Seventy-four percent identified the former, 42 percent the latter.

Do these people not pay any attention to the world around them? Do they not care? I actually blame the media for this one -- look at the news any given day and the top stores are entertainment or fluff or carefully screened political news...the Supreme Court pops up rarely, and discussion of the basic facts of government or the working of the legislature get buried in the hue and cry over the latest issue -- everything is dumbed-down to soundbites and spiffy graphics.

I shouldn't be surprised, though. Most people can't even point New York on a map---- and 2/3 can't find Iraq on a map despite all the news coverage, more -- 88% -- can't find Afghanistan.

• Thirty-three percent of respondents couldn't pinpoint Louisiana on a map.
• Fewer than three in 10 think it important to know the locations of countries in the news and just 14 percent believe speaking another language is a necessary skill.
• Two-thirds didn't know that the earthquake that killed 70,000 people in October 2005 occurred in Pakistan.
• Six in 10 could not find Iraq on a map of the Middle East.
• Forty-seven percent could not find the Indian subcontinent on a map of Asia.
• Seventy-five percent were unable to locate Israel on a map of the Middle East.
• Nearly three-quarters incorrectly named English as the most widely spoken native language.
• Six in 10 did not know the border between North and South Korea is the most heavily fortified in the world.
• Thirty percent thought the most heavily fortified border was between the United States and Mexico.

Pathetic. Only about a quarter of people even think it's important to know where things are. No wonder Americans are thought of as stupid or ignorant or naive. It's embarassing. I was quite pleased to note that I could name almost all the dwarfs and an equal number of justices, and I could point to all those things on a map.

BTW, Keeping track of all seven dwarfs is actually quite simple: two S’s, two D’s, and three emotions. Two S’s: Sleepy and Sneezy; two D’s: Dopey and Doc; and three emotions: Happy, Bashful, and Grumpy.

The justices are Breyer, Thomas, Ginsberg, Alito, Kennedy, Stevens, Roberts, Scalia, Souter.