Backwards Innnovation

Ok, the Wienermobile has been souped up, and Oscar Meyer is touting their new "fast franks" as the solution to after-school snacks. A hotdog, in a bun, all microwaveable! Oh, what shall they think of next?

Here's the blurb:

It’s mouthwatering to imagine -- a tasty, hot and juicy Oscar Mayer hot dog wrapped inside a soft and warm bakery-fresh bun. And now imagine only having to wait thirty-five seconds for that first delicious bite.

Oookay. Well, I always eat my hotdogs (not Oscar Meyer, but Nathans) in a bun, and I'm certainly not waiting more than 35 seconds for it. Just how do they think people are preparing hotdogs? And just what fabulous "time savings" are they actually providing by removing that oh-so-onerous task of actually putting the hotdog in the bun by ourselves. Oh, the humanity!

They go on to wax rhapsodic about the warm, bakery-fresh bun and how "Preparation is easy, and there's no cook top mess or boiling water." Huh? Prepapration was hard before? These are hotdogs, people. Not coq-au-vin.

I have to wonder exactly what century are the marketing drones living in. Do you know anyone who actually boils a hotdog nowadays? I, like everyone else, microwave my hotdog (for about 30 seconds), pop in a bun, and go. This is not rocket science.

However, by trading off the two separate steps of heating the hotdog and then the bun for a single-step process, Oscar Meyer believes that they have made this easier and are saving me time. Well, all I can imagine from microwaving a bun is a soggy, steamy bun. They claim they are "leveraging proprietary dough technology" to avoid this. I just had to laugh. I didn't realize that this was a serious enough problem to warrant scientific study and extensive research.

I'm sure it appeals to people who want things "instantly" and want to expend no effort to get things. I mean, I love to have things "easy" -- who doesn't? -- but I can't see how this actually addressed a pressing need to save us time or effort. It might actually be harder -- you have to unwrap the hermetically sealed cellophane baggies, and carefully time the steamed-bun process. Ok, maybe it doesn't involve a paper towel to wrap your hotdog in. That might be the sum of the savings right there.

Talk about filling a niche that doesn't actually exist.

Setting a Good Example

During his speech at the UN, Venezuelan leader Hugo Chaves said that US President Bush was "the devil" and proceeded to roundly criticize US, UN, and world policy.

His words -- and the half-joking reference to the podium carrying a whiff of sulphur -- have been decried as arrogant, unfitting of a leader, rude. He was out of line, Condi Rice said, and various talking heads have been discussing his obviously uncivilized behavior.

But, you know? People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. Bush has used every speech in the last few years to call other world leaders evil, fascist, evildoers, whatever the buzzword of the week is. Frankly, this is a well-deserved dose of his own medicine.

"...Given the administration's propensity to call other governmental leaders evil, fascist and Hitler-esque, was Chavez's speech really such a radical departure from what has become a routine standard of political discourse between nations? ..."

That's our Bush....lowering standards all over the planet.

Yaargh!

It's INTERNATIONAL TALK LIKE A PIRATE DAY, mateys!

Get your pirate on!

Truth in Advertising

From the Economist: Finally! Truth in advertising. If airlines were honest, here's how it would go:

“GOOD morning, ladies and gentlemen. We are delighted to welcome you aboard Veritas Airways, the airline that tells it like it is. Please ensure that your seat belt is fastened, your seat back is upright and your tray-table is stowed. At Veritas Airways, your safety is our first priority. Actually, that is not quite true: if it were, our seats would be rear-facing, like those in military aircraft, since they are safer in the event of an emergency landing. But then hardly anybody would buy our tickets and we would go bust.

Your life-jacket can be found under your seat, but please do not remove it now. In fact, do not bother to look for it at all. In the event of a landing on water, an unprecedented miracle will have occurred, because in the history of aviation the number of wide-bodied aircraft that have made successful landings on water is zero. This aircraft is equipped with inflatable slides that detach to form life rafts, not that it makes any difference. Please remove high-heeled shoes before using the slides. We might as well add that space helmets and anti-gravity belts should also be removed, since even to mention the use of the slides as rafts is to enter the realm of science fiction.

Please switch off all mobile phones, since they can interfere with the aircraft's navigation systems. At least, that's what you've always been told. The real reason to switch them off is because they interfere with mobile networks on the ground, but somehow that doesn't sound quite so good. On most flights a few mobile phones are left on by mistake, so if they were really dangerous we would not allow them on board at all, if you think about it. We will have to come clean about this next year, when we introduce in-flight calling across the Veritas fleet. At that point the prospect of taking a cut of the sky-high calling charges will miraculously cause our safety concerns about mobile phones to evaporate.

Read the whole article here: It's a hoot.

Religious Fanatics

Last week, the Pope quoted a Byzantine emperor while expressing his opinions about Islam during a speech. A veritable storm of criticism has erupted.

"He said, I quote, 'Show me just what Mohammed brought that was new, and there you will find things only evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached.'"

He has since apologized, and the vatican has spent quite a lot of time trying to spin this. The Pope is saying he doesn't share this opinion, and that it was a poor choice of words. But he also has said that he doesn't believe that Islam can be "reformed". And yet he didn't intend to insult Muslims, of course.

These are not off-the-cuff remarks, the Pope knows that leaders and peoples worldwide listen to him -- whether they are Roman Catholic or not, the Pope is seen as an important world figure. His words are carefully planned, carefully written. If these are not his personal opinions, he is still the primary voice of the RC church and the views are those espoused by the church. What did he think was going ot happen when he suggested that Islam is "evil"?

And he is willfully ignoring (or denying) the fact that the Christian church has often spread it's own faith by the sword.

Do people forget the crusades? Do people think that the friars who accompanies the Spanish to the Americas converted the Indians by reasoned debates and loving hands? Do people really believe that the missionary Christians in Asia and Africa were great humanitarians rather than the foot soldiers of imperialism?

And the response of Muslim extremists to the comments? Even less reasoned and less acceptable. Burning effigies, protesting, and even threats that the west must convert or "die by the sword". Yup, that's the way to convince the world that Islam is indeed a peaceful religion.

The fanatics in charge, the tiny sliver of religious leadership that is extreme and inflexible (and yes, the players here on both sides, Christian and Muslim, are fanatics) are trying to create a world of religious polarization and intolerance. How is that going to improve things in the world?

Wine Lovely Wine

The Festival was fabulous! Perfect weather, lovely food -- a very enjoyable weekend. We started with a Winemakers dinner (lessee-- Salmon Seviche and a lovely Sauvignon Blanc, Spring Greens with a Champagne Vinaigrette and a Chardonnay, Orange Sorbet and a german-style Gewurtztraiminer, Elk filets and a Cabernet Sauvignon, and a lovely dark port with Chocolate mousse...luckily we didn't have to drive anywhere..the wine-fairy was very good.)

Nearly 7000 people mobbed the park, and tasted 200 wines from 43 wineries. It was spectacular. We met some lovely people from Utah and Colorado Springs, as well as some recent arrivals from Connecticut -- we sat and enjoyed gourmet food and tasted wine all afternoon. One winery that we had enjoyed before was not at the festival -- a call on Sunday morning revealed that they had not come because they had simpy sold out of all of their wines. They had only a few cases left, and were willing to part with a few of the bottles they'd set aside for themselves, if we made the trek out to their vineyard. Yeah! We sat and tasted their wines on the front porch for almost two hours, chatting with the owners and enjoying the perfect, blue-sky day.

We got a lovely trip through Grand Mesa -- the Aspens are just turning and the light at sunset is absolutely luminous. We had a second trip through the "scenic byway" when a rockslide blocked part of I-70. It took almost six hours to get home!

WIne Weekend

We're off to the Colorado Wine Festival this weekend (actually, leaving in about 20 minutes!) to enjoy tasting wines from 30+ Colorado wineries, eating gourmet food, and generally enjoying the festivities.

Back on Sunday to let you know how it goes!

Why I Hate Configuration

Here's a quick test for anyone interested. Do you see the difference between:

"C:\oracle\product\10.1.0\apache\apache\images\"

and

"C:\oracle\product\10.1.0\apache\apache\images/"

Yeah, that pesky forward-slash caused about three hours of problems today. The tools that I'm trying to configure require the forward slash, while the default file is created with a backslash.

Yes, I love my job! Hah!

Obligations

Chile, which has a truly appalling teenage pregnancy problem, has finally addressed the issue -- they have made birth control free for every girl over 14. EC will be publically available for all women, free of charge, and without interference.

It's about time.

You know, I even agree with the statements from Catholic church and local religious conservatives who say that we need to address the problem at it's core: teach these young people that having sex is not something they should be doing at the age of 14 (which nearly 14% do), and counseling them to wait - but I also 100% agree that dealing with the reality of the problem right now -- a runaway number of unwanted pregnancies and abortions -- is the correct first step.

The Catholic church -- which wields a tremendous amount of power in Chile -- has already come out to criticize the law for the same reasons that religious groups criticize similiar ideas here: it will "encourage" young people to have sex. I've never understood that particular argument, since it simply defies logic and the reality of people's behaviors. No, teaching them to protect themselves doesn't urge them to have sex, and it certainly doesn't give them the idea that you think it's OK. Making contraception available doesn't even affect the numbers of people having sex -- it simply means that those who do, will do so safely. I, like many of my peers, had more detailed information about sex, contraception, conception, and STDs than I probably wanted to know; my parents were very upfront about all of it. They were also up front about the responsbilities involved, and that they strongly discouraged me to start experimenting until I was much older (for my father, I think the correct age would have been 30!). I got the message.

Knowledge is power, not encouragement.

The President of Chile, Bachelet (who is a pediatrician) said this:

"The obligation of the state is to provide alternatives, and the obligation of families, of each one of us, is to communicate with our children, explain things to them, and to teach them."

Yes. This. Exactly. Now I can only wait until we manage to be as enlightened here.

OS Hell

I write software for a living. I design systems. You'd think I could do something as simple as install an OS on a new computer.

Apparently not. I hate hardware and now, I hate Operating System installs.

The new (old, really -- a refurb from Dell that I got just to tinker with) machine came with Windows XP Home. I initially wanted to have at least Win XP Pro. Simple upgrade, right?

Nope. Insert disk, wait for interminable hardware checking, Copy some files. Then it announces that it 'cannot detect a hard drive'. Wha? It was there a minute ago! And now, since it got through part of the install, it give me the blue screen of death each time I try to boot off the installation cd. Well, that's not good. I manage to get it back to booting ont he still-extant Win XP installation. Good.

Searching Google suggests that it is a driver problem for the 160 gig SATA drive. Great! THe solution is to interrupt the installation and load the drivers from a floppy disk.

Um. I don't have a floppy drive, and at this point in the installation, I can't get the machine to recognize a usb drive, either. Hm.

After quick consultation with a coworker, he recommends installing WIndows 2003 server instead. Ok. Get out disks, load. Wait. Wait. Wait. 'cannot detect hard drive'. Well, at least we know it's not a specific XP problem! Now the machine won't boot at all, and seems to think it has three separate installations in the boot menu, only one of which works at all.

I know it's an issue iwth drivers or recognition or something with the SATA drivers, but I have no idea what to doa bout it. But wait! Thsi is a BRAND NEW machine. It's still under warranty and helpdesk coverage!

At this point, I surrender. I do a live chat with Dell, spent two hours IM-ing them to help me reset the bios on the machine, change the RAID setup of the drive, and then -- much fun -- when it comes up ready to install WIndows XP Home again, the technicial cheerily informs me that 'it's recognizing the drive now -- the install should be clean. Thanks for calling Dell!"

I abort the XP Home install and boot fromt he Win Server 2003 disk and run through the install. I reformat the C:\ drive (which takes over an hour because I didn't do a "quick" drive format) and then, 7/8 of the way through, it announces it 'cannot copy file blah blah blah' -- or any of the subsequent files, either. Well, I"ll show you, you finicky piece of shit. Restart the installation, tell it to delete absolutely everything, and it finally boots.

Which is when I remember that I absolutely despite Win Server 2003. I dont' need the functioanlity of a print server or other "role", I don't want ot have to tell it why I'm shutting down, and I don't want to have to manage it. I just want a standalone machine that I can install Oracle on and make it work. I don't even know how to get the bloody thing to "share" drives. Well, fine!

Scrunch the 2003 install into a small partition, make a new one (after installing Partition Magic and making changes) and start the install of WIndows XP pro, which is what I wanted to do in the first place. It's also barfed when installing the first time. But it boots up now!

I hate mucking about with tehe buts of my machine. This is why.

Retinal Scans

I've been getting a ton of nonsensical comments and weird spam in the blog -- so I finally turned on the pattern-recongition thingy for all comments. Sorry about that. I love all the comments, and I hate making it more annoying to add them.

Next step - blood tests and retinal scans....

Ultimate Computer Accessory

I may never have to leave my desk again. CoolIT systems has developed a personal cooling plate that plugs into a USB port on your computer, and cools to 45 degrees. Set a glass down and voila! Cool drink. And it's computer-powered.

There have been cup heaters forever, but finally, something for those of us that think hot beverages are gross.

And you can find it at Amazon.

Barbie Does Yard Cleanup

This may be a sign of the apocalypse...or some sort of weird, Mattel in-joke. But Barbie has a new companion -- a golden retriever puppy named Tanner.

Oh, our favorite plastic doll has had pets in the past, but this one is special. This one poops.

Seriously. You poke special plastic biscuits into its mouth, and out they come from the other end, ready to be picked up by Barbie's special magnetic pooper-scooper. Because, well...to be honest I have no idea.

[Edited to add: yes, as far as I can tell the biscuits go in and come out in the same form. So, no little kids will have to "refill" the puppy's butt with plastic poop. That's the first thing the Adorable Husband asked!]

Discouraging Door-to-Door

From a friend on TT--

The annals of Wiccan folklore are rife with tales of discouraging door-to-door proselytizers, but perhaps the funniest story comes from my Society for Creative Anachronism friends. Someone, somewhere, had gathered a bunch of friends to go to a Viking themed event and they were all in the living room putting on their gear when the Jehovah's Witnesses rang. The Viking who opened the door yelled back into the house, "Hey boys! We got CHRISTIANS!"

Well, it is NOW

From Bush recently --

How can Iraq be a connection when Saddam Hussein didn't order the attacks?"
And you know, I understand that concern, because he didn't order the attacks. The enemy, however, believes that Iraq is a part of the war on terror. Osama bin Laden has called Iraq central to the war on terror.

Yeah, clueless, they do now. Because you made it that way.

The senate committe report is a bit clearer -Hussein viewed al-Qaida as a threat.

Cayenne Cocktail

Uulaq is a baaad dog this week.

We have a drainspout on the back porch that actually goes underground to a pvc pipe, then comes back up to the surface at the bottom of the yard. There's a filter/cap on the end of the upturned pipe, so when it rains, the water can drain out into the grass, away from the patio.

Well, Uulaq discovered that if she pulled off the cover, she can drink the disgusting, greenish, stagnant water that sits in the pipe (we haven't had rain in a while). She has clean water available, of course, but seems to prefer this icky stuff.

After a few rounds of putting the cover back, the Adorable Husband went out and secured it with a few screws. No way the dog could pull it off. I predicted that it would just be an escalation in the attempts to get at the water -- and I was right. It took all of an hour for her to realize that the green cover wasn't going to come off any more, so she simply dug up the end of the pipe and pulled off the ell entirely. I looked outside to see the beastie drinking water out of the huge hole, with the cover -- and it's securely-attached-screwed-on-pipe -- flipped up into the grass.

Next round -- concrete. The Husband dug out underneah the pipe, put in some brackets to hold it down, and poured concrete around the whole thing (with a new, screwed-down cover). Well, Uulaq was out there before the concrete dried, trying to dig it up. She managed to eat the middle out of the cover and gouge the concrete pretty well.

The Adorable Husband was out there last night with about a cup of cayenne pepper, to mix into the sludgy water. Hopefully she gets a snootful and decides that it's not worth digging up again.

Probably not. She'll probably just think, "hm. Rather zesty today, isn't it?" and keep right on going. I can't decide if she's smart, stupid, or just determined.

Blind Partisanship

Apparently, the strong block of southern women voteres who got Bush elected in 2004 aren't quite so happy with their golden boy nowadays. His insistence on staying the course in Iraq has got some of them thinking. Support has dropped to just 28% among women (32% among southern women) for him in his handling of the war on Iraq. They are angry and concerned that there isn't really a plan. This mirrors the general attitude of most Americans, if current polling is to be believed.

However, what caught my eye about the article is that there are people out there (and I can't name one, so where are all these people?) who believe that Bush is God's anointed one.

Still, some Southern women remain stalwart supporters of the president and the Republican Party. At a watermelon festival in Chickamauga, in the mountains of northwest Georgia, substitute teacher Clydeen Tomanio said she remains committed to the party she's called home for 43 years.

"There are some people, and I'm one of them, that believe George Bush was placed where he is by the Lord," Tomanio said. "I don't care how he governs, I will support him. I'm a Republican through and through."

You don't care what he does, you don't care how he manages things, but you'll vote for him because he mouths the same platitudes you hear in church (whether he actually believes them or not). The fact that he says the right things, but doesn't actually do them doesn't seem to be important.

So, stupid and -- incomprehensibly -- proud of it.

Well, I'm the Queen of Sheba. I expect that she'll be sending tribute to me soon. It must be true. I said it. Wait! Wait! Isn't that how it works?

Par for the Course

I've made a point to avoid every 9/11-themed movie. I have no desire to see a dramatization of events, since they are always colored by some political motivations of either the left- or right-leaning variety. The latest "docudrama", Path to 9/11, is just the latest in a long string of revisioninst history retellings of the incident. The web is abuzz about the show (which has not yet aired, btw) because of transcripts of several scenes which purport to show that Clinton failed to act to capture/kill Bin Laden when CIA were on the ground in Afghanistan, ready to do so, and thus opened the way for the attack in New York.

The problem? The scene -- which makes the incendiary claim that the Clinton administration passed on a surefire chance to kill or catch bin Laden — never happened. It is entirely fiction, made up by the author.

The actual history is quite different. According to the 9/11 Commission Report (pg. 199), then-CIA Director George Tenet had the authority from President Clinton to kill Bin Laden. Roger Cressy, former NSC director for counterterrorism, has written, “Mr. Clinton approved every request made of him by the CIA and the U.S. military involving using force against bin Laden and al-Qaeda.”

In fact, Richard Clarke, former counterterrorism czar for Bush I, Clinton and Bush II, has weighed in on the scene and has this to say:

1. Contrary to the movie, no US military or CIA personnel were on the ground in Afghanistan and saw bin Laden.

2. Contrary to the movie, the head of the Northern Alliance, Masood, was no where near the alleged bin Laden camp and did not see UBL.

3. Contrary to the movie, the CIA Director actually said that he could not recommend a strike on the camp because the information was single sourced and we would have no way to know if bin Laden was in the target area by the time a cruise missile hit it.

The movie is sounding more and more like a carefully orchestrated fictional account meant to make the current president look good and boost ratings around election time. Hey, if we can continue to blame Clinton, then Bush is doing the right thing, right? But like most of the rhetoric surrounding "blame" for 9/11, this is based on lies and distortions.

If ABC airs this "documentary" as is -- on Sep 10th and 11th, to maximize impact, of course -- and shows this as "factual" what they are in fact doing is misleading the public and attempting to sway public opinion by whitewashing the errors and failures in intelligent in the Bush administration that led to 9/11 and "enhancing" the truth about the errors and failures in the Clinton adminsitration. The movie contradicts the findings on the 9/11 commission, on which is supposed to be based. Cherry picking the "facts" is dishonest and manipulative. It is even more dishonest and manipulative to air the show now, with the rhetoric of the war-on-terror being ratcheted up for the election season, knowing that there are discrepencies and a declared bias.

Even the director of the movie admits that the movie is not a documentary. ABC should be airing dislcaimers to that effect during the showing. Most people will only see the movie and accept that is is a documentary-- an objective telling of the events -- and swallow it hook, line, and sinker. Given the importance of the topic, people deserve the truth, at the very least. Present the facts; we can make up our own minds who is "at fault", if anyone.

You can send a note to ABC about this issue from ThinkProgress. I won't be watching, in any case. I can read the 9/11 commission report and get the real data.

Harleys

Ok, is there something about a Harley Davidson motorcyle that requires that they be revved for twenty minutes before riding?

Two of our neighbors have Harleys (for a total of three bikes in our culdesac). Every single time they go out riding -- which tends to start fairly early in the morning on nice days -- they start up the bikes and then apparently sit there, revving the damn things for fifteen minutes or more.
BRAAAAAAAAAAAPPP! Br-br-br-br-br-AAAAAAAAPPPPP! BRAAAAAAPPPPPP!

It's LOUD. It sounds vaguely like a huge animal with bad gas. I just don't get it. Well, I don't get the weird fascination people have these loud, obnoxious bikes anyways, but the start-it-up-and-rev-it-loudly is even more of a puzzle to me. Is it some sort of mating call to let all the other Harley riders out there know that you are joining the pack today?

Now, they are nice neighbors, and we like them just fine. I'm just puzzled by this seeming need to "warm up" the bikes on these lovely autumn days.

A Cruel Joke

EMERGING FROM a meeting with his economic team at Camp David on Aug. 18, President Bush declared that "solid economic growth is creating real benefits for American workers and families." This assertion was false. Mr. Bush should use this Labor Day to rethink his rhetoric and adjust his policies. (The Washington Post)

Here's the reality: corporate profits are the highest they've been since the mid-60s, and actual income for workers has dropped. The "economic growth" since 2001 has had little or no effect on the average worker -- in fact, they are worse off now than they were then. In every single state, real wages have dropped since 2001. Every. Single. State.