Free to Good Home!

BAD, BAD puppies. I know it's a phase. They're 10 months old, every puppy goes through the Super-Destructo-Godzilla-Eats-Manhattan stage, I know this. But my patience is wearing very, very thin.

In the last two weeks, the puppies have:

1. Pulled up most of the drip system hose in the backyard and eaten it
2. Eaten chunks of the 100' garden hose in the backyard. Six or eight times. It is now a 30' garden hose
3. Eaten a 1 foot deep hole in the yard. Yes, EATEN a hole. They are not digging, they are eating their way to China.
   
4. Destroyed a library book.
   
5. Destroyed one of my books -- down to little soggy shreds
6. Disemboweled a recliner
7. Eaten at least 5 mechanical pencils, a highlighter, and Sharpie
8. Chewed a chunk off my good leather briefcase
9. Ate the cover off my electronic book reader (but did not eat the reader itself, or they would be EX-puppies)
   
10. Chewed up MY GLASSES.

Tonight they rampaged behind my desk, but did not eat the books. They get points for that. Not many points, but it is an improvement. I spend several hours today getting replacement glasses, though. I'm still pissed over that one.

They are loose in the house every night. This is not when they wreak havok. Oh, no, it's only when we leave them unattended during the daym even for a moment. Each of the above acts was committed when they were either a) alone outside for an hour or b) alone inside for less than one hour.

I'm having visions of a shock-collar set to De-Fur.

It's only a phase. Only a phase. I need to keep repeating this until they hit 2 years old, aren't I?