Let's test them first

Tom Tancredo (yes, I'm embarrassed to be from his state) wants to bring back literacy tests for voting. You know, the "literacy tests" that were used to bar certain people from voting. Rachel Maddow had the only possible response:

"But I want you to know first, that this is what it was like. You would head down to the courthouse to register to vote, if you dared. In order to register, you‘d face an exam. It was sometimes called a literacy test, but it wasn‘t testing to determine necessarily if you could read or write. If you were black, the test was designed purely to afford a legalistic veneer of justification for denying you your constitutional right to vote.

The questions weren‘t about ABCs. They were—they were questions like this one, from Alabama‘s literacy test in 1965. If a person charged with treason denies his guilt, how many persons must testify against him before he can be convicted? Do you consider yourself qualified to vote in this country? Can you answer that question?

You want to hear it again? If a person is charged with treason—if a person charged with treason denies his guilt, how many persons must testify against him before he can be convicted?

Or how about this one from the same test: In what year did the Congress gain the right to prohibit the migration of persons to the states? Do you know the answer to that one?

Again, these are from Alabama‘s literacy test in 1965. It was applied selectively, of course, to black voters, to keep them from registering.

If you lived in Georgia in 1958, you would have faced questions like this one: Who is the solicitor general of the state judicial circuit in which you live and who is the judge of such circuit? If such circuit has more than one judge, name them all.

How did you do on that one? Or how about this one: What does the Constitution of Georgia provide regarding the suspension of the writ of habeas corpus?

If you wanted to vote in Georgia in 1958, those are the questions you would have to answer. But, of course, not everyone would face those questions. The board of registrars had the sole authority to determine who got asked which literacy test questions and whose answers to those questions rendered them ineligible to vote.

The idea was that black voters weren‘t being denied the right to vote based on race. That would be illegal. No, those voters just couldn‘t pass this literacy test.

This isn‘t the plot of some Kagzo (ph) Klansman gothic short story. This isn‘t a theoretical for first-year law students. This isn‘t some State Department report on some tin pot dictatorship halfway around the world that we can‘t pronounce.

This is American history. This is really, really recent American history—as in this lifetime for a lot of people American history.

And the opening night speech at the national tea party convention this weekend proposed bringing the literacy test for voting back. And that proposal got a warm round of applause

I suggest that the FIRST people to have to pass a "literacy test" should be the ones calling for it. Since they seem to be misinformed bigoted cranks absolutely unaware of history (or uncaring of it), it should be easy for them, right? Right?

I couldn't answer those questions. Could you?

Love Languages

I've often read about love-languages on my SIL's blog, about the way that people express love and feel loved. I've never read the book, but a recent conversation with my sister about communication and expectations of marriage prompted me to google it and I found an online quick quiz to figure out what "type" you are -- do you value quality time or gifts or supportive words or acts of service as an expression of love? Would you rather get a gift, or have your spouse do laundry and pick up groceries on the way home? Would you rather be told how much you are appreciated, or hugged and snuggled?

I realized that I value quality time and acts of service as being meaningful to me -- filling my car with gas or stopping on the way home to pick up a loaf of bread make me feel loved and secure and appreciated. Bringing me flowers is nice, but I'd rather have the Adorable Husband come home an hour early. It would be difficult if we didn't realize what the other expected or wanted -- and it's definitely got to be difficult trying to figure out what those things are.

I may have to actually pick up the book. Hmph.

Antique Cars

Watch the flickr slideshow carefully...absolutely fabulous!

Not only a great photographer, but.. oh, just watch!

I need a cape!

I have discovered that I have a Superpower. Oh, nothing as exciting as leaping tall buildings or running faster than speeding bullets or invisibility or anything, oh, no.

Nope. My superpower is discovering (or causing, the jury's out on that one) weird and unpredictable problems in computer code, that no one else has seen before.

Every day for the last week, I've found something strange and inexplicable in the application that I'm building. Weird characters show up, things work and then they don't, data disappears at random...you name it, I've been dredging it up in my code.

Hmph. I'd rather be able to burst into flame or hurl lightning bolts.

Gradeschool moves

Perhaps the ridiculous teleprompter sneering will stop, now. Whaddya, think?

It took this long?

Everyone has heard the rather bizarre claim that 'vaccines cause autism', which has fostered an almost rabid anti-vaccine movement. It was based on a single study, which has been debunked thoroughly over the last few years as being invalid. Despite the claims of the anti-vac crowd, there is absolutely no, none, zero, zip, nada connection between autism and vaccines.

Well, the Lancet has finally completed disavowed the study and come out a report that the author of the study, Andrew Wakefield, falsified the data and manipulated medical records to make his study give specific results. The study is completely, utterly, wrong. The methodology and data aren't even valid. Wakefield is accused of unethical behavior, on top of it all.

Of course, the damage has already been done. People continue to believe the thoroughly disproven results. The study was flawed from the beginning, but it apparently said something that made True Believers out of a lot of people -- someone to blame, something to point at as a cause for autism. I can only imagine that for parents with children who are autistic, it was something to cling to. But for the thousands of people who refuse to vaccinate their kids? Hey, idiots -- herd immunity only works when 95% of the population is vaccinated...and this ridiculous campaign has dropped that to less than 80% in some areas. Measles is back the US because of this. It's likely the resurgence of Whooping Cough is probably related.

I'm just surprised that it took this long to come out formally against the paper, and sad that for most people, it probably won't make any difference.

Life Lesson Learned

Do not, whilst walking merrily along on the treadmill listening to your ipod, lean down to fix your shoe.

I'm a boomerang

While I feel better that I'm not the only one with this problem, it is quite obvious that I cannot walk in a straight line. I list to the left, and if I don't pay attention, I'm sure I'd walk in an enormous circle and end up back where I started (a risk if you're walking in the desert, for example).

How do I know this? Walking on the treadmill is way harder than it looks! You're not supposed to hang on, and I find myself edging towards the left side of the belt if I'm not very careful.

I can see a rather spectacular crash in my future -- I'll be like those funny commercials of people shooting off the back end of the treadmill into the wall, I just know it.

He-man!

I am very glad that I have not only a handy husband, but a brawny one!

With the Christmas money from my Dad this year, we (well, really, I) decided to get a treadmill. I need to get off my butt and move, and walking has always worked for me -- but getting outside and walking around here can be dependent on the weather and I don't need any possible reasons to avoid walking, which I will glom into at the slightest provocation (yea, I know, rain, snow, cold are pretty normal around here and I'm not a delicate little wilting flower, but as an excuse, "It's freakin' cold out there' certainly works for me!). So - indoor treadmill. I know people who have them and they like them.

I found a really nice treadmill, which the Adorable Husband picked up from the store today. And then he man-handled the 300lb, 7' tall box down the stairs into the basement to be put together.

And now he's heading off to the chiropractor to fix his back. Sigh.

Ensuring Stupidity

Another knee-jerk idiotic response to a "concerned parent" -- read: moronic idiot -- from a school district. This time, removing dictionaries from the schools because they (gasp!) define terms of a sexual nature.

Perhaps it's not that surprising that a mother in Menifee, California, asked the Menifee Union School District to ban all copies of the 10th edition of Merriam-Webster's Collegiate Dictionary after her child stumbled across the term "oral sex." What is surprising, indeed horrifying, is that district officials immediately complied with her request, and pulled all dictionaries off classroom shelves throughout the Southern California school district, which serves 9,000 kids, kindergarten through eighth grade.

They removed a dictionary.

Read that again: a DICTIONARY because a single parent had her delicate widdle sensibilities ruffled and demanded that everyone bow down to her carefully sterilized little world view. What a complete fucking mess.

Oh! The horror! That a school child might read a factual definition of a term in a dictionary. 'Cause we all know how damaging that could be. Might expose them to ideas . This goes beyond prudish or sensitive to ridiculous and awe-inspiringly stupid. That the school board actually responded to this twit of a woman by removing the dictionary and seriously considering a school-district-wide ban is absolutely mind-boggling to me.

I suppose it's a way to ensure that the next generation is even more stupid, closed-minded, and rigid than the current one.

Wait until she realizes that there's a whole, real, physical world out there that might possibly expose her and her child to...words! And actions! that she might not "approve" of! What then? Demand that the rest of the world be sanitized and bowdlerized? What about other words -- like breast and fornicate and homosexual and concupiscense and bondage and ..well, you get the idea. Let's eliminate all the words in the dictionary that might offend someone! I'm sure there are LOTS of words in that dictionary that this woman finds offensive and disagrees with. Oh, what her child might learn from reading the textbook definition of polygamy or gay or any of the millions of other words in our language for ideas and concepts she doesn't like. I'm sure there are thousands of ideas out there someone disagree with, not even just the sex ones! The possibilities are endless! We could have a dictionary with just a few pages of "approved" words!

Wait! What about enclopedias! They have articles about things she disapproves of! Better ban all those National Geographics before Jr gets a good look at a pair of naked breasts. Better ban the Bible, too, it's got some pretty racy passages. Oh, my god! The internet! They might have access to such things online! Ban it! Shut it down! The list is never-ending! (please imagine the previous few sentences read with breathless, wide-eyed fanaticism and enough sarcasm to drown a fish, ok?)

How pathetic that she can't even face answering a question from her child about what oral sex is, if the kid comes across it in the dictionary. How frightening that she truly thinks that it might be titillating or prurient. What is she going to do? Never let her kids leave the house or participate in life? I wouldn't want my hypothetical kids to be reading The Kinsey Report or Joy of Sex, but that's far different than not wanting them to read a dictionary that contained words related to human sexuality. That' takes prudishness to a whole new level I hadn't even imagined before.

A single person simply does not have the right to enforce censorship --and no waffling here, this is censorship of the highest order --of books. Exempt your own child from their education by refusing to allow them to read things you don't like, that cover subjects you are not comfortable with or disagree with, but that's where your control ends. I'll still mock you, of course, but that's your choice for your own kid. Learning about, reading about, thinking about subjects that are outside your comfort zone are important. Difficult, perhaps, but important to developing a critical, thinking, capable mind. Hiding from these topics and themes doesn't make them go away, despite people's best efforts.

But did you notice that this story (which is only the latest in a long line) only really worries about some knowledge? They're trying to carefully filter knowledge through their own lens. How telling is it that you never hear of anyone protesting a book or demanding censorship of a dictionary because they contained entries like genocide, torture, rape, famine, war, or hatred?

So her kid read the definition of oral sex (which, btw, is "oral stimulation of the genitals") and she just didn't want to have to address it with her kid like a responsible adult and explain it terms a kid would understand. No, she'd rather hamstring the education of an entire district's worth of school children because she could complain and the school-board pandered to her ridiculous demand. I think she's an idiot, but I blame the school district for actually responding to this with anything but derisive laughter and downright rejection. They're actually whining about having to 'read the dictionary' to discover if there are any other words that might be questionable. Common sense is apparently not in supply. 'What about the chiiiillll-ddrrruuun' here has run to ridiculous lengths.

Shame on the Menifee Schoool District! Knowledge and reason are the root of ethical society, not censorship.

Solution to a non-problem

I just saw a commercial for a Lysol hands-free liquid soap dispenser with the tagline, "never touch a germy soap pump again".

Talk about solving a non-existent problem...um, even if the soap pump does harbor germs (and I'm sure it does, you're touching it with your pre-washed hands)...you're going to wash your hands after touching it. Anyone who is "concerned" about germs on their soap dispenser is spending way too much time fostering paranoid and ridiculous phobias.

Hands may come into contact with millions of germs every day. Hand washing is one of the most important steps to help stay healthy. But have you ever thought about those germs ending up on your soap pump?

Fact: Your soap pump can harbor a lot of bacteria.

Introducing the LYSOL^® No-Touch Hand Soap System, it automatically senses your hands and dispenses just the right amount of soap that kills 99.9% of bacteria.

For use in the kitchen or bathroom, the antibacterial hand soap is enriched with moisturizing ingredients and comes in three great scents!

Never touch a germy soap pump again.

I don't like the explosion of anti-bacterial soaps and surfaces and wipes and sprays. They are unnecessary, and resistant bacteria are a real problem. Sure, wipe down your kitchen with it after cutting up raw chicken, but otherwise? Seriously - plain soap and water does the job just fine. This near-phobic approach to germs is ridiculous and dangerous. If you believe the advertising, you need to spray everything with bleach, shouldn't touch any surface, and need to disinfect every single object in your whole life, all the time.

But this product seems designed specifically to enable the believers in the idea that their houses and lives and bodies must be sterile. I can even see a non-touch soap dispenser; they get all goopy and gross after awhile, so just waving your hand under the sensor eliminates the mess, but do to it to avoid germs? Really? That's like suggesting you wipe down the handles to the faucet before washing your hands with a Chlorox wipe or something. Why?

And of course, minutes after washing your hands, they are once again covered in germs. Or the towel you wipe your hands on has billions of them. Even a paper towel. It's a bizarre illusion of 'clean', if you ask me.

Leaping Gazelles

The time for the fastest man (a 26yo) in this year's "Skyrise Chicago" stair-climb at the Willis Tower was thirteen minutes and nine seconds to get to the top of a 110-story building. (see the rest of the results here). That's 2, 109 steps.

The fastest woman (age 40, who has claimed the title for the past eight years) clocked in at 15:08, and the fastest kids (both age 10) were at 22:26 and 22:51, respectively. Last year, a firefighter did it in full gear.

They must have been taking the stairs two or three at a time and leaping, gazelle-like, from landing to landing, is all I can figure.

Just to put it in perspective, this is from a poster on one of the forums I frequent:

"To give you a point of comparison, the first time my firm did a post-9/11 fire drill, where folks wanted to actually go all the way to ground level to prove to themselves they could, even the people who bolted way ahead of everybody else took twenty minutes to go only sixty floors, and they were going DOWN!"

World Statistics

An absolutely fascinating look at world population statistics--life expectancy, income, family size, population, the works, by Hans Rossling. I bet you haven't seen things displayed like this before!

Best Stats You've Ever Seen

Spiritually transformed guns of Jesus

Despite specific rules banning proselytizing in the Afghanistan and Iraq wars, a manufacturer of gun sights for the military inscribes the sights with references to bible verses. Really. Bible verses, etched into the rifle sights. Promising that god is with them. On guns. I boggle.

That's just...well, it seems so ridiculously inappropriate that it's almost funny. Inscribing verses of the bible -- ostensibly to support and bolster the soldier and let them know that Jesus supports them -- on a weapon used to kill people is just wrong. Talk about reinforcing the idea of a god-driven crusade, eh?

Coded references to New Testament Bible passages about Jesus Christ are inscribed on high-powered rifle sights provided to the United States military by a Michigan company, an ABC News investigation has found.

The sights are used by U.S. troops in Iraq and Afghanistan and in the training of Iraqi and Afghan soldiers. The maker of the sights, Trijicon, has a $660 million multi-year contract to provide up to 800,000 sights to the Marine Corps, and additional contracts to provide sights to the U.S. Army.

One of the citations on the gun sights, 2COR4:6, is an apparent reference to Second Corinthians 4:6 of the New Testament, which reads: "For God, who commanded the light to shine out of darkness, hath shined in our hearts, to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ." [...]

Trijicon confirmed to ABCNews.com that it adds the biblical codes to the sights sold to the U.S. military.

Wow. The company -- which is very upfront about their Christian beliefs, has crossed a line, in my opinion. I'm not against this because of the idea that it could inflame religious animosity in a muslim country, I'm against this because it is a serious violation of church and state, with the military tacitly expressing a preference and strong support of a specific religious belief system. In an era when evangelical Christians have inappropriately used positions of power in the military to proselytize and actively attack non-christians, this is just another transgression, I guess. But it is a serious one.

I'm against this because it is a gross application of a religious idea used to support war. It implies that god supports and encourages "our side" of the war, by "blessing" the weapons. That's just..distasteful. It is pushing christianity and their particular version of god, quite literally at the point of a gun.

Would I be so upset if they were inscribing bible verses on body armor or helmets? Not really, I guess. It'd still find it inappropriate, but it wouldn't be actively offensive. It's the idea that anyone would invoke their god as a blessing on a weapon that is pretty weird to me. We should be long past the age of religious crusades -- but I forget, for many people, the war against terrorists is a religious crusade. They have used it to demonize muslims and "others" and are arrogantly and smugly sure that their god is on their side. That's a frightening thought, if you ask me.

Weinstein, an attorney and former Air Force officer, said many members of his group who currently serve in the military have complained about the markings on the sights. He also claims they've told him that commanders have referred to weapons with the sights as "spiritually transformed firearm[s] of Jesus Christ."

I sincerely hope that they lose their very, very lucrative military contract.

English Mangled

I've been working on a new client, building an application in Oracle's Application Express -- a web-based toolset. The details don't matter really, but I had to register a minor boggle at some of the verbiage used in the app. Mangled language is everywhere!

The application has a default 'you can't log in now' sort of message that appears if you try to log in and the system in unavailable. The default is

"This applications is currently unavailable at this time."

Huh? The message was obviously designed by the Department for Redundancy Department.

C'mon people, either "This application is currently unavailable" or "This application is unavailable at this time" -- using both is a bit awkward.

And this is a worldwide, major corporate release. Where have all the editors gone? Did this actually sound right to someone?

Why not actually DO something?

Christian congregations all over the world will be praying to cure Trig Palin of Down's Syndrome on April 18, 2010. When he is healed of this incurable genetic disease, people all over the world will have to acknowledge the Majesty of God.

Science has no way to undo this condition, which is the result of an extra chromosome; but God can. When Trig Palin is found to be miraculously healed, everyone but the most hardened atheist will have to acknowledge God’s Majesty!

Oooo-kay. What a monumental waste of time -- but, okay, let's look at this. If the combined power of the faithful can actually "heal" him, can you imagine what good that these people could do? Pray for a cure for cancer. Pray for the healing of the sick in the world. Pray for world peace. All those things that they apparently haven't been able to manage before. But this, this effort is worthwhile? I wish them well. That would be a boon to mankind, it really would.

But I do have to ask -- if it works, and we must all then acknowledge that their god is great and merciful....if it DOESN'T work, will they finally admit that it's a worthless enterprise and that their god simply doesn't have the juice to do anything at all (if he even exists)?

I doubt it. They'll just have some "reason" why it didn't work. Negative vibes from the non-believers, or sunspots, or the intervention of the devil or something. People didn't really have true faith. They always have an excuse.

Nerdy Rant

Can I just register my absolute and utter hatred of CaSE sENsitiVe computer coding languages?

Hate hate hate them.

Wasted two hours trying to debug a problem that ended up being related to a difference in case in a single variable. Retval vs revtal. TWO HOURS.

Gah. Not only do I feel like an idiot, am I quite sure that anyone who designed such a language requirement is evil.

Dated Language

Question 9 on the census, which asks for a person's race, lists as one of the options: "Black, African Am., or Negro." [from csbnews]

This has raised a few hackles, and I have to admit that I am also a bit surprised at the use of such an archaic and thoroughly fraught term as "negro" as an option on the census in 2010. I don't think that's been in current use since when, the 70s? It's not a word that I would use, nor have I heard it except in movies about the Civil Rights movement -- how could it possibly be considered a common-enough descriptor now?

I don't think it's patently offensive, I guess, not like some of the other terms that have been used to describe someone who isn't pasty-white-northern-european, but it smacks of a patronizing, denigrating "you, boy" sort of label. The word has been rejected, I believe, and no one seems to be wanting to resurrect it as a sort of "self-owned" reference to one's own group, like the n-word has been adopted by some groups, or faggot has been reclaimed as a label of pride by some gays.

Since I don't belong to either of those groups, the words are not acceptable.

The Census Bureau has defended the choice of words (Black, African Am., Negro appear as the label for a single checkbox) by saying that "some older people" might still identify with the term". Really? I'd like to meet them. Do they still accept the label "colored"? I doubt it. The Census Bureau added it back in this year, after it was a write-in option from some people during the last census. While I believe that to be entirely true, I have to wonder at the motive for doing so. Do people not like the other terms? Do they imply some other affiliation that some people don't like?

But then again, I have a hard time getting behind the xxx-American terminology. African-American, Asian-American, or any of the combinations, which seem to be a rather thinly veiled attempt to put a politically correct, socially acceptable label on something that is really a color-based or phyiscal-attribute-based determiner. You aren't calling someone African-American because the emigrated from Africa, you are using the term to describe someone by skin color. It is just 'black' with a polite, social dress on. You don't hear Polish-American as a descriptor for North St. Paul white people, because no one feels the need to differentiate by actual ethnicity, and the Polish people and Scandinavians and such in the city are all white. xxx-American isn't a way to describe where you're from, it's a side-step to actually describing your skin color or physical features without actually doing so.

People should be called by whatever label they want--if there really is a subset of people who prefer the terminology Negro, then so be it. People want to be called Caucasian instead of White, or Hispanic or Latino instead of Mexican. So what? It's a ridiculous attempt at labeling anyway. The bizarre thing is that the 'race' being asked for is an mix of terms that use both skin color and ethnic origin to define it - things that are fundamentally unrelated. Describing someone's skin color doesn't say a thing about their actual origin, it just lets bureaucrats lump us into different buckets rather arbitrarily.

I'm mostly Polish, and a little bit English and a teensy bit German, I think. I'm sure there's another 57 Varieties muddled in there somewhere. On a census form, I'm White. It's just one way of grouping people. Perhaps I should be labelled 'northern european', to distinguish from the Scandinavians or ethnic Caucasians from Russia, or paler-skinned peoples of the Mediterranean It's a fruitless effort, especially now, as we are becoming more and more homogenized. I'm not white, anyway, I'm sort of pale-bluish.

But, the inclusion of the term Negro on the census strikes me as odd. Language changes, and we discard or re-define words that have taken on meanings that are unsubtle and unacceptable, just like we add descriptors that people adopt. The issue is that words that are common and acceptable to one set of people (even within a group) may be offensive or rejected by others.

Shelly Lowe, a U.S. Census Bureau spokesperson, agrees that the use of "Negro" is antiquated, and says that the bureau was surprised to learn there still are people who prefer to be called by the term.

Lowe also noted that all of the census questions are "tested ad nauseam," enough so that using the "Negro" term "outweighed the potential negatives."

Was it a huge error to include the term? I think it's rather insensitive, and seems terribly out of touch with the modern world, but I also am willing to take at face value that some people do prefer the term and that its inclusion was not meant to imply anything other than an alternate label. Everything is going to offend someone. I'll be curious if it remains on the census again in 10 years.

Facebook Fail

We all should know that you don't post anything on Facebook that is going to rise up to haunt you later when you are looking for a job (no nude pictures, no drug use, that sort of thing).

But how many people just don't quite get that they shouldn't post about their job? Well, other than glowing paens to how much you love working for Company X.

This is, as far as I can tell, real. Definitely not the smartest tool in the shed, eh?

Snow snow snow

Bah. Yes, it's beautiful;but the Adorable Husband had to snowblow again and we hadn't even gotten rid of the last snowstorm. Weird - we've had snow on the ground for weeks at a time this year.

It started coming down in lovely, fluffy flakes this afternoon, but it's cold out there right now, and supposed to be colder. I was looking forward to some warmer days, to be honest. I can only hope that it clears up enough that the drive up to Keystone isn't a seven hour trek.

Yes, skiing again! We just got back from a week skiing in Copper Mountain with the Christmas Horde (which was a lot of fun!) and this weekend is my work ski trip. I'm not sure that the Husband is going to try snowboarding again, for a bit (his chiropractor suggested that he had a bit of whiplash from his earlier efforts) and he's still walking a bit stiffly. Me? I'm intended to hit the spa and laze about. Lovely!

I really don't get the whole 'skiing' thing. I try - I mean, I live in Colorado, I should be embracing the outdoorsy-ness of the place, and reveling in the fact that outdoor pursuits are everwhere. Hiking I can understand, but skiing? I've taken lessons, I am just not Sporty, I guess. There are moment when I like the quiet gliding through the new powder...but then there's the falling and the screaming and the crashing and it's not so fun anymore. The mountains are beautiful, I'll just enjoy them from the veranda with a nice hot beverage, thank you very much!

In a Tizzy

My youngest sister is getting married! Whoopee! Her fiance proposed on Christmas Eve, and she has been dazzled by the sparkly ring every since.

And, of course, working herself into a tizzy to plan a wedding for late this summer. So many things to do, so many decisions...and she's a bit single-minded about things once she starts. Tenacious, might be the better word.

They've set a date, found a reception spot, and she's already looking for a dress. In a week. I told you she was single-minded. I didn't realize that some of the lead times were as large as they were -- I always was under the impression that you could do everything in six months or so. Nope. Well, not int he current bridal industry, it seems. Most venues are booked a year in advance, and dresses take up to 6 months to deliver and alter. Wow. I must have blocked all that out from my own wedding planning, oh-so-many-years ago.

She has, quite reasonably, decided that she will not buy a dress that costs more than a month of her salary. Of course, she loves the dress. Her fiance apparently made the off-hand comment that, "you know, we could be a little less formal and you could wear something else....oh, wait, no. Forget I said that.". Smart Man.

I'm so excited for her! He's a great guy and she's deliriously happy. I've heard her laugh more in the months she's been with him than in the previous few years, to be honest. Yeah!

Circle of Death

Sometime while we were gone, the Adorable Husband's xBox gave up the ghost. They are apparently susceptible to overheating (the cause of most of the failures that were reported in the last few years, and the primary cause of the Red Circle of Death displaying on the front of the thing.)

Hmph. Our poor housesitter thought they'd done something to kill it, but it was just a coincidence of timing.

So I googled for help to fix it. Microsoft is no help ("send it in! We'll fix it! You'll get it back in four weeks and oh, by the way that'll be $$$"), and there are some pretty iffy sorts of suggestions on the web -- including wrapping it in a towel to induce overheating to re-flux the solder on the board.

It's apparently a design flaw. The clips holding the motherboard in place slightly flex the board, causing all sorts of problems, including cracking the connections and not having a clean seat on the heatsink. It's possible ot take the whole thing apart and reseat the heatsink, which usually works, but I was told today that doing so might actually make the xBox Online thingy think that you've hacked your machine and it will suspend your membership. Wha?

So we're stuck between trying to fix it, somehow (since it's waaay out of warranty) and just surrendering and buying a new one. Nice racket, eh?

Crowning Music of Awesome

I spent a bunch of time while everyone else was skiing, lounging about in my jammies surfng the web and reading books. One of the websites I happened upon was one of the biggest time-sucks I've found in a while: tvtropes.org -- an examination of the common motifs and cliches in the media -- which eventually pointed me to the common TV trope of "Crowning Music of Awesome", that moment, in the movie score, where the music is so fabulous, so perfect, that it actually makes the scene. Music that is epic, hair-raising, and just...perfect.

Which sent me on another search for the actual music listed -- where I discovered Two Steps from Hell, a duo that composes music specifically for movie trailers. Yeah, kind of a strange specialization, I suppose, but half the time the trailer music (which usually has nothing to do with the actual movie score) is absolutely fantastic.

I think I've listened to 'Protectors of the Earth' about a dozen times. It is, according to the site:

quite possibly the most unspeakably epic piece of music ever created.

I agree. Unfortunately, you cannot buy any of their current albums; they sell only to movie studios, so you can find some on YouTube, etc. They are planning on a public release of two new albums in 2010, though. I'm waiting!

Back in 2010

You may have noticed that I disappeared for the entire month of December -- lots of stuff going on: new client, family coming for the holidays, all that sort of stuff.

But, we're all fine here at Chez Phouka -- ten days with the Adorable Husbands family (ALL of them!) at the house and up skiing were a blast, and we're back to enjoying the usual quiet of our house. Mostly we're napping. The prep and setup and execution of the Christmas Horde Invasion took up most of our time. Bit higher stress level than normal, but it was a lovely visit.

So! Back from the break! I have plenty of opinions to share! I promise!

Sage and more sage

Historically, we've gone shopping for The Turkey Feast and bought a bottle of sage. Since my recipe uses about half a bottle of sage, some time last year we looked in the cupboard and had...SEVEN half-empty bottles and cans of sage.

So when on the shopping trip this year, we both looked at the spice aisle and said to each other -- "oh, no, we have TONS of sage at home and dont' need another bottle to add to the collection!"

So, as I was making my fabulous stuffing this evening, I reach into the spice cabinet for sage.

NO SAGE.

Nothing. We both rummaged through the cupboard, disbelieving. How could there be NO sage? How could we possibly be OUT?

Well, at some point during the year, we apparently decided to clear out all the old, half-used bottles and made a note to buy a fresh new bottle from Penzey's before Thanksgiving. And forgot.

The Adorable Husband is currently at the grocery store, buying sage, while I do the rest of the stuffing recipe. Hah!!

Eating Bees

Berit, sneaky weasel that she is, ATE A WASP (or two) late on Wednesday night. It apparently stung her on the tongue and roof of her mouth, so her eyes swelled shut, her face is all lumpy and blotchy, and she feels really, really sick. We pumped Benadryl into her fast, and the swelling went down, but she just got more and more agitated and spent the night pacing and whining and crying. DH slept out on the porch with her, since the cold air seemed to calm her down a bit. SHe was up all night and she looks just horrible.

Took her to the vet this morning, thinking she had some sort of intestinal problem (the pacing and crying are classic signs of bloat/torsion), and our vet thinks that she is just VERY allergic to wasps and that as it goes through her system (the little dead wasp carcass, that is), it will continue to make her sick for a day or so. Steroids and benadryl to make sure she isn't so twitchy and agitated, but poor stupid puppy!

I wonder if we need to have an epi-pen or something? She was breathing, ok, but her whole face swelled up, and her tongue was all lumpy. Scared us to bits!

Appalling

Catholic Church Threatens To Stop D.C. Services For Needy If Gay Marriage Passes

The Catholic Archdiocese of Washington said Wednesday that it will be unable to continue the social service programs it runs for the District if the city doesn’t change a proposed same-sex marriage law, a threat that could affect tens of thousands of people the church helps with adoption, homelessness and health care.

Apparently a medieval dogma is far more important than, you know, actually doing good. Nope, can't actually love they neighbor if it contradicts your systematic and entrenched bigotry. So let's pull out of helping the poor, ministering to the needy, if the city doesn't kowtow to our demand that they deny marriage to a part of the population.

What with this and the latest offer to the Anglican church to take back their anti-gay members...well, the Catholic church has mad it very clear that they are more interested dogma than in people. Shame on them.

And, since they seem to be throwing their weight into the political arena - perhaps we should be considering their tax exempt status. That seems fair.

Thank you.

To all those who served, to all those who have fallen, thank you.

The world is better for the sacrifices you have made, the risks you have taken, the difficult tasks you have performed. Risks and sacrifices that most of us never have to face.

Thank you.

Shrinky Dinks

Remnember Shrinky Dinks? The acetate sheets you colored, cut out, and then shrunk to thick, clunky plastic in the oven? Did you ever think they'd be useful in a scientific lab? Hah!

In 2006, Michelle Khine arrived at the University of California­'s brand-new Merced campus eager to establish her first lab. She was experimenting with tiny liquid-filled channels in hopes of devising chip-based diagnostic tests, a discipline called microfluidics. The trouble was, the specialized equipment that she previously used to make microfluidic chips cost more than $100,000--money that wasn't immediately available. "I'm a very impatient person," says Khine, now an assistant professor at the University of California, Irvine. "I wanted to figure out how I could set things up really quickly."

Racking her brain for a quick-and-dirty way to make microfluidic devices, Khine remembered her favorite childhood toy: Shrinky Dinks, large sheets of thin plastic that can be colored with paint or ink and then shrunk in a hot oven. "I thought if I could print out the [designs] at a certain resolution and then make them shrink, I could make channels the right size for micro­fluidics," she says.

So she drew out the designs, and when they were shrunk, used them as a mold for her microchannels. While not perfect, the solution has gotten a lot of attention -- both critical and enthusiastic. Now that she's started, of course, people are working on other applications of her "shrinky-dink model". How very cool!

..into the silence

Yeah, I've been quiet for a few days.

New computer game.

Very absorbing, time-suck of a computer game. So instead of doing anything constructive with my evenings, I've been battling ogres and dragons and zombies.

I'm seriously getting too old to stay up until 2am playing games. It makes getting up for work pretty hard in the morning. But it's fun!

Dragon Age: Origins

Lovely game, and - -as I've found out over the last four days -- it drags you in for hours. Great voice acting, good graphics (although not the best I've seen) and an engrossing storyline with so many different options that I've barely made it out of the first city. I keep wandering around talking to everyone.

Trick or Treaters SCORE!

Perfect weather, and we had TONS of trick-or-treaters. It's been hit or miss around here, really. The first couple of years, we had a total of 10 kids show up - we were apparently too far out on the edge of the development to be worth hiking all the way out for candy (at least for most kids).

At the old house, we used to get HUNDREDS of kids on Halloween. But Old Town is neat little rectangular blocks and is pretty small. Every single kid went out and followed the same path. The new development is all curvy and full of dead-end cul-de-sacs and we apparently just don't get the volume. Lots of parents around here take th elittlest kids to the mall for trick-or-treating, though.

It doesn't stop us from buying a bazillion bags of candy, though, so when we actually did get a ton of kids last night we had plenty of candy! Lots of neat costumes -- plenty of star-wars Clone Wars, ninjas, a fire-fighter, Indiana Jones, plenty of little fairy princesses and gangsters. Even a tiny little munchkin dressed as a cow who managed to say 'ticker teet' and 'fank yoo' loudly and with enthusiasm, albeit with a little prompting.

Intellectual Dishonesty

[Edited to add (11/4/09) that not only is Comfort dishonest, he's a plagiarist, as well - see the comparison of his "introduction" to "A Brief History of Charles Darwin" by Dr. Stan Guffe]

When Ray Comfort announced that he was going to give out free copies of Darwin's Origin of Species with his own, special introduction, I was ticked off, but figured that getting the book into people's hands was more important than worrying about the fifty pages of dribble that Comfort felt he had to put in the intro. Bad enough, but his idiocy is pretty easy to debunk and no one interested enough in reading Darwin's book was going to give him any credit.

But now, I've read that the book is actually EDITED. Yup, whole chapters are missing -- you know, the ones that Comfort doesn't agree with, and that ones that contradict his little fairy story of how life ended up where we are. He can, of course, the book is out of copyright, but if he's going to drop chapters from the book, he should be honest enough to admit it. Honest enough to leave the book intact and let his "arguments" stand for themselves. He can't. He's got nothing but debunked and rejected stories that can't stand up to criticism or even casual attention. So he has edited the book shamefully while still representing it as the original. It's dishonest to the extreme.

His response? It was too expensive in the initial printing -- "too many pages", but the second printing, the one that will go to students, is intact. I'll believe that when I see it - he's shown that truth is a rather fluid concept.

Ray said "The first printing of 30,000 was an abridged edition. It was abridged because it was too many pages (too expensive) for a giveaway. In the book, we explained that the removed chapters could be downloaded freely online at www.originextra.com

The second print of 175,000 (which has just come off the press) was the complete book--that's the one that will go to students. Nothing is missing from the original book. Not a dot. Thanks for asking. I appreciate it. Best wishes."

Does this make any sense to anyone? So, it was too expensive to give away the full book, but now they are going to give away the full book for free. That's a pretty thin excuse. Didn't expect to get caught, I imagine.

In the meantime, the absurd abridgement is out in the wild. It's been sent to various outlets for review and can be pre-ordered on Amazon. Which version has been sent out? Guess.

Eugenie Scott, of the National Center for Science Education, wrote her review of the book.

Unfortunately, it will be hard to thoroughly read the version that Comfort will be distributing on college campuses in November. The copy his publisher sent me is missing no fewer than four crucial chapters, as well as Darwin's introduction. Two of the omitted chapters, Chapters 11 and 12, showcase biogeography, some of Darwin's strongest evidence for evolution. Which is a better explanation for the distribution of plants and animals around the planet: common ancestry or special creation? Which better explains why island species are more similar to species on the mainland closest to them, rather than to more distant species that share a similar environment? The answer clearly is common ancestry. Today, scientists continue to develop the science of biogeography, confirming, refining, and extending Darwin's conclusions.

Likewise missing from Comfort's bowdlerized version of the Origin is Chapter 13, where Darwin explained how evolution makes sense of classification, morphology, and embryology. To take a simple example, why do all land vertebrates (amphibians, mammals, and reptiles and birds) have four limbs? Not because four limbs are necessarily a superior design for land locomotion: insects have six, arachnids have eight, and millipedes have, well, lots. It's because all land vertebrates descended with modification from a four-legged ("tetrapod") ancestor. Since Darwin's era, scientists have repeatedly confirmed that the more recently two species have shared a common ancestor, the more similar are their anatomy, their biochemistry, their embryology, and their genetics.

So, Mr. Comfort, because he can't really counter the information, simply omits it. Where their "evidence" fails, they just ignore it. No one with on iota of ethics is going to support it, and this has simply cemented the opinion of rational, thinking people that Comfort is intellectually dishonest (as if we actually needed this particular incident, but there it is). He has a fabulous strawman idea of what atheists believe and continually conflates evolution with abiogenesis, and procedes to tilt madly at those instead of actually addressing the reality of evolution and scientific fact. It would be funny if it weren't for the people who actually think he's honest and accurate.

If you want to propose a different model for life on earth, you really do have to address ALL of the points of the other model. Your new theory has to account for ALL the empirical evidence and ALL of the facts available. Ignoring them simply shows that you can't and it's pretty pathetic.

If he wants to slice and dice the book, fine. But at least have the decency to note that it is NOT the entire text, that you have abridged and edited it to fit your own agenda, and don't attempt to market this as the real thing. What he is doing is dishonest and manipulative.

Some more Creepy

The Uncanny Valley is the observable revulsion that humans feel when robots and other facsimiles of humans look and act almost like actual humans just a little too well They become "too real" but there's something just a little off that squicks you out.

The best example I've seen is the live-type animation used in The Polar Express -- the characters looks real, but not real enough, and in fact (to me) resembled animated corpses. Your brain initially thinks "oh! person!" and then something subtle (or not so subtle) about the face starts to make you uncomfortable. New video games often have this problem - the characters are rendered close enough to humans that you begin to really notice the not-human twitches and tics and movements and it is unsettling.

There is a really good gallery of images that trigger the Uncanny Valley "ick" factor -- it's interesting ot see which ones really make you cringe. (nothing gross, just some weird and creepy faces, don't worry).

My first exposure to this sort of effect was when someone sent me the link to a child pageant photo retouching website -- weird zombified freaky kid pictures for pageants. Eeeu. The site is worth clicking through (keep clicking "more" on each page) just to see how totally bizarre they are.

And for some truly fantastic CGI art (that may or may not fall into the Uncanny Valley), check out the gallery here. WOW.

Creepiest Pumpkin Ever

From Coastal Surfing, no idea where the original photo is from, but Creepiest Punkin EVAH!

Bwaaha! Beware!

I hope you will all stay far, far away from the demonic candy this Halloween season...Prayed over by witches, you know. And passing curses with each trick-or-treater.

Pat Robertson's Christian Broadcasting Network posted a blog by Kimberly Daniels recently that warns Christians to forgo celebrating Halloween because of its evilness. Daniels specifically calls out candy as a source of soul-molestation:

"During this period demons are assigned against those who participate in the rituals and festivities. These demons are automatically drawn to the fetishes that open doors for them to come into the lives of human beings. For example, most of the candy sold during this season has been dedicated and prayed over by witches."

Seriously, I thought this was a fine example of Poe's Law -- it was just so ridiculous and over-the-top that I thought it was a joke. It's not, sad to say. People are unbelievably ignorant of Hallowe'en history, and prefer to make up an anti-christian strawman for this co-opted holiday of Samhain. I can't believe anyone takes it seriously -- it's a secular holiday here, and has been for a very long time. Any demonic taint has been created by the overly-gullible

Of course, the CBN page linked above has been "removed" (oh, I wonder why!) but you should still be able to read the whole lovely screed from Google's cache.
Consider for a moment, though, just how batshit insane you have to be to be scrubbed from Robertson's website.

(and just edited to add: have they considered that if these hypothetical demons really wanted to have the most impact, they would curse christmas candy and christmas presents, and be drawn into all those nice christian holiday festivities. I mean, really, possessing candy at Halloween is for amateurs.)

Just a note

Two things about snow: 1) if you must go out and shake snow from the trees, wear a scarf and a hat with a brim and 2) it is impossible to see what two WHITE dogs are doing in the dark in the snow. They vanish entirely.

Most of the lovely snow will be melted by the weekend, though. Sigh.

Snow snow snow

Ha! Snow at last! And bunches of it! I have to admit I love the snow, when I can sit at home, all cozy and warm and don't have to go anywhere.

The Adorable husband, of course, drove down to Aurora to class today. He took E470 around and it was slippery enough that he slid off the road, through the median, across the two lanes of oncoming traffic (not that there was any, luckily) and into the ditch on the opposite side. He was able to drive back out, didn't even need a tow or anything, but WOAH! It took him an hour and a half for a normally 40 minute drive.

He has two days of class way down south -- last night, after looking at the weather projections (up to 2 feet of snow), I made him a hotel reservation about 2 miles from his class. I totally don't want him to be trying to drive home if it's supposed to keep snowing 1+ inches per hour all day.

Fun!

And so it goes

Just to let you know how our weekend is going -- the Adorable husband went to Veloswap yesterday and bought a new bike. Quite nice - a hefty commuter sort of bike (not a lightweight racing bike, and not a heavy-duty off-roader, sort of in-between), and once he brought it home and put it all together, off he went to test out the bike.

It has front shocks, so he figured he'd try riding in the field near our house.

Which is why, less than ten minutes later, it is back in the garage and we are off to buy new tubes for both wheels.

Goatheads. The little suckers are sharp enough to easily pierce the tires and puncture the tubes. He had to pick them out of the tire by hand before he could put in the new ones - the thorns are tough enough to go through shoes (tip: never wear Crocs in a field with goatheads).

That's just how things have been going. We're both crabby and snarky today.

Which one?

This flowchart is slightly offensive and rather funny -- of course it only covers a half-dozen of the thousands of options, but it does narrow the field a bit, if you were not-so-seriously wondering....

122 below windchill

A friend of ours is currently at the South Pole - isn't that cool? He's scheduled to come back in November after four months in the cold and snow. One of the engineers also at the site has been posting a blog and videos - the one below is the walk from South Pole Station to the lab. It's rather long and a bit boring, but it definitely gives an idea of what the weather is like. Oy!

You can read the blog (not by our friend, but by one of the other engineers) at FreezeDriedEngineer

Brilliant!

I often post that I am lucky enough to have a spouse who is Very Handy. He can fix just about anything. In fact, when he can't fix something, I start to worry!

But he is BRILLIANT.

Case in point: we discovered yesterday that we have a substantial water leak in the basement somewhere -- the carpet in the workout area downstairs is in varying states of damp --> soaked across most of the room.

But we couldn't SEE any source of the water. It was somewhat obvious that it had to come from the utility room somewhere, but the floor was dry. There was no spot near the baseboard along any wall where the carpet was "more wet" to indicate a leak, there were no pipes in any of the other walls, no sign of water on any of the walls or baseboards, and the really, really wet spot was in the middle of the room. Huh? How?

We briefly thought that it was actually seeping up from the floor, but that made no sense at all.

So, we st up the fans to start to dry things out, to see if we could find the source o the problem.

Now, I have a really serious phobia about water in the house -- having lived in an old house with various leaks and weirdness, the sound of running water in the house freaks me out, and the thought that we had water from SOMEWHERE leaking into the basement made me very, very anxious. When the Adorable Husband simply shrugged and said we were doing all we could and had no idea what was going on...well, I mgiht have been a bit snarky, too.

So the Adorable Husband, after dinner, sets off downstairs to find the source of the problem - humoring me, of course. About an hour later, he emerges triumphantly from the basement...we have a humidifier on our furnace, which has a drain pipe that is wired to the drain in the floor. It was not "leaking" or missing the drain...but the drain itself was silted in and after about ten minutes, it filled in entirely, and the water runoff from the humidifier filled in the small depression and was wicked up by the carpet. It would only happen when the heat was on -- which it was quite often last week, but hasn't been for a week, and only when it twa son often enough to fill up the drain and overflow. We hadn't been down in the basement for a week or so, so the carpet has been sittig down there, soaking for a at least week, even though th eheat hasn't run in at least that long. Ugh.

We apparently hit the right combination of temperatue and furnace activity to cause the problem. I'm really surprised at the amount of water that travelled along a low point in the concrete and into the other room. Wow. Luckily, it is absolutely clean water, so I hope if we get it dried out, we won't have weird mold problems.

But Yeah! for patient, handy Adorable husband!

Haka

Rugby makes football look like a sissy game.

Even though they have a dance routine.

Another version here: All Black's Haka, and here: Rugby Dance

Good Life Lessons

"New Moon: Because what healthier lesson to teach teenage girls than that attempted suicide will make their boyfriends come back to them."

I've read the whole Twilight series, mostly out of curiousity because my niece was hooked on it, and all the internet buzz. Ugh. Not only are they ill-written, Bella is the mary-sue-iest Mary Seu Evah! -- but the message in the books: stalking and desperate neediness and control are good things is a bit worrisome to me. I can see why it appeals to the 13-year-old girl crowd, but to adults? If vampires float your boat, there are far better series out there for you.

And they don't sparkle.

Come Fly Away

If you watched television at any point today, you probably saw video of the runaway UFO-looking balloon north of Denver today. The story was that a 6-year-old boy had climbed into the balloon and it had taken off unexpectedly (whether he did it on purpose or not was the topic of much speculation). It careened from near Fort Collins down towards the airport, which shut down northbound flights, climbing as high as 13,000 feet before touching down in a field in Weld County.

I could see the helicopters just north of our house.

The kid was fine, btw. He apparently accidently set loose the balloon and hid in the attic of the garage, afraid of getting punished. Just about what I'd expect from a six-year-old who had just lost his father's experimental weather aircraft/balloon thing. I'm glad he's ok.

The news coverage was instant, constant, and inane. This is national news? This required every single idiot on Twitter to post about it? I'm sorry, but the first thing I thought was "oh, how horrible, I hope the kid is alright...." and then the immediately thought that this is simply Tragedy Porn.

You know, endless breathess coverage, interviews with anyone who has ever seen the family, footage of crying family members and endless discussions about the situation back and forth among the television crew and in-studio anchors, repeating over and over the few facts they know. This was fairly unusual-how often do you see a floating UFO balloon?--but the story affected no one but the family, possibly their neighbors, and the rescue personnel called out to respond to this possible emergency.

There might have been a frightened six-year-old in the balloon, and I can only imagine how terrified the family was...but to throw it up on television for a few hours and bring all other news and activity to a screeching halt is ridculous. Reminds me of the hours of live television coverage of the white bronco attempting to flee police at low speed. Really? This required all stations to cover it and live footage online and thousand and thousands of Twitter posts? (don't get me started on twitting, either, or tweeting or whatever they call it).

People glued to the television waiting with bated breath for the next moment's news. Watching people digging out of an earthquake, watching video of tsunamis over and over again. Hours and hours of video of a fire burning.

Tragedy Porn.

Or maybe I'm just a horrible curmudgeon.

Bigotry is Alive and Well and on the Bench

A justice of the peace in Louisiana has refused to issue a marriage license to an interracial couple. I thought we were a couple of decades past that kind of bigotry, but apparently not.

"I'm not a racist. I just don't believe in mixing the races that way," Bardwell told the Associated Press on Thursday. "I have piles and piles of black friends. They come to my home, I marry them, they use my bathroom. I treat them just like everyone else.

Um, no you don't. You classify them as "other" so you can avoid mixing them up with "your type". If you won't marry one of them to someone that they love, you clearly aren't treating them like everyone else.

And don't you just love the "I'm not racist....i have tons of black friends" defense? It's the first thing a true bigot brings up when they're called on their behavior. Oh, I don't hate gay people I have ton of gay friends! I don't hate mexicans, some of my best friends are mexican! Bah.

And he keeps defending the action! He seems to believe that we should allow bigotry to exist because to accept an interracial couple might offend someone? He really doesn't get that he -- in a position to enforce the law --has been breaking the law for years. I'm embarrassed that we still have people on the bench in this country who are such blatant idiots and racists. Everyone should be.

I hope he's disbarred or impeached or fired or whatever you do to Justices of the Peace. And sued.

Hello, Robot Sex Pillow

I really have no idea what to make of this, except that it's probably NSFW.

A body-pillow that changes shape and moves depending on how you hold it. Um, yea, that's for comfort only, I'm sure. Yeeeeahh. Suuuure it its. All it needs is a wakka-wakka soundtrack.

Weird.

More Bible News

Claiming that all translations of the Bible except the King James Version are false and satanic, a pastor in North Carolina is having a book-burning for Hallowe'en. He's burning Bibles that aren't his precious KJV and whatever else his deranged mind considers "satanic" -- which includes books by religious authors who "have occassionally used Bibles other than the King James Version"

This guy is a loony-toon. He might be King of the Loony Toons.

I knew some religious fanatics were insane, but this one really takes the cake. It reminds me of the Texas legislator who proclaimed "if English was good enough for Jesus, it's good enough for me" -- isn't this sort of adoration of the Bible a sin? Bibliolatry?

According to the church’s Web site, members will also burn “Satan's music such as country, rap, rock, pop, heavy metal, western, soft and easy, southern gospel, contemporary Christian, jazz, soul (and) oldies.

“We will also be burning Satan's popular books written by heretics like Billy Graham, Rick Warren, Bill Hybels, John McArthur, James Dobson, Charles Swindoll, John Piper, Chuck Colson, Tony Evans, Oral Roberts, Jimmy Swagart, Mark Driskol, Franklin Graham, Bill Bright, Tim Lahaye, Paula White, T.D. Jakes, Benny Hinn, Joyce Myers, Brian McLaren, Robert Schuller, Mother Teresa, The Pope, Rob Bell, Erwin McManus, Donald Miller, Shane Claiborne, Brennan Manning (and) William Young.

Wow. I think he covered just about every evangelist who writes books, and the Pope. Must be nice to be so absolutely convinced of your own righteousness. (although, I do have to agree that Graham, Swaggart, Roberts, and some of the other televangelists deserve worse than having their books burned...evil people, the lot of them).

But book burning? Well, I suppose you can't expose your flock to any ideas that you haven't spoon-fed them. Can't expose them to any other ideas that might cause them to think. Can't expose them to a different interpretation of religion than your own, or you will lose control over them. Apparently this particular pastor is absolutely, 100% sure that HE is the only one with the right answers. Hah!

Burning books is an infantile, stupid way to suppress the ideas in them. It's counter-productive - you end up legitimizing the content that you are trying to suppress, while convincing the sane people around you that you are an idiot and harmful to society. I guess, though, that to this guy, ideas really are dangerous and should be squashed.

I can't believe that they lack even basic self-awareness and historical context to realize that they are co-opting something that is as strongly associated with fascism and totalitarianism as burning books they don't agree with. Perhaps that's the intent, though -- absolute, total control of thought and ideas in their congregation (and as many others as they can influence)

I am boggling at the idea that the KJV is the "one, true version", unsullied and correctm too. Um, no. It, like every single other translation of the Bible into English, has copyist errors, introduced errors (because of a political or religious agenda) and is a flawed historical document. Picking this one out of the several hundred translations is pretty damn funny. I'm sure that many of his congregation have no idea of the literary history of the Bible, and they surely don't accept the fact that it was written in a different language. (Yes, I've met people who believe the Bible was written in English - just a few, but even ONE is a bit frightening). I've also met a number of KJV "worshippers", who view this particular translation as the only acceptable one, who have no idea of the history and plan behind the translation. Sure, it's a good one, and wonderfully archaic and poetic, but "correct"? Please.

And the best part about all of this? They'are having barbecued chicken and "all the fixins" to go along with their bonfire of idiocy.

Costume Options for the Burly Guy

Check out the best Plus-size Halloween costumes for men, because "sometime between Star Trek 6 and Star Trek: Generations, Captain Kirk discovered gravy."

Heh.

I also like the Tooth Fairy. Too funny!

Berit Update

I realized I haven't posted an update for a bit on Berit -- she was walking stiffly, and having some weird problems with spots in her mouth and on her belly, and the corners of her mouth were dry, cracked, and bleeding. Took her in to the vet on Monday for blood work and it came back that it's not a tick-born disease, her blood chemistry is fine, but her platelet count is about 1/4 normal.

So, she's not clotting well, and our vet told us to keep her quiet so she doesn't get banged up. She went back in today and we took more blood to test for some immuno-responsive stuff. It's possible, but unlikely, that she has systemic Lupus. Hopefully not -- she's pretty young.

But she's racked out by my desk, we have to wait another 24 hours before we can give her steroids (which should get things back in a more normal range) and she seems to be doing pretty well today. Not sick, really, just tired and still very itchy. Poor beastie.

Big Dog!

That is a really, really, REALLY big dog. Woah.

Oklahoma sucks

Oklahoma has passed a law requiring the publishing on a website the personal information about every woman who has an abortion performed in the state.

They're going to require women to provide, among other things, age, marital status, previous pregnancies/miscarriages/abortions, education level, race, residence, relationship to the father (but not any information about the father, of course) - not names (not yet). To what purpose is this data being made public? There is enough information here to identify someone from a smaller communities - its only purpose can be to bully women out of seeking an abortion and frighten doctors out of providing them. I'm not against collecting data - that helps provide the basis for programs and funding, but making it public? For what purpose?

What about the privacy of medical records? OH, don't worry - they're just collecting statistical data and, well, lookie-lookie, the identity and privacy of the father is not being reported. So, no harm, no foul, right?. I mean, we're only punishing those sluts who get pregnant and have an abortion, right? (In fact, the law was proposed as a measure to eliminate abortions based on the gender of the fetus - how that relates to this law, I can't figure out). What the fuck is wrong with people?

I wonder how they'd feel if a law was passed requiring that the identifying information about the father was also collected, or perhaps everyone who buys alcohol, or viagra, or perhaps tracking what church they attend? This law is simply an invitation for women to be abused and shamed by a bunch of narrow-minded religious zealots intent on banning abortion. Great approach, don't you think?

I suppose we can rely on red-state Oklahoma to pass some of the most backward, misogynist laws imaginable, and, while screeching about government getting it's hands out of their business, will give one tremendous fuck you to women in the state.

Unbelieveable.

Regretsy

If you're not familiar with Etsy, it's an online marketplace for crafters and artisans to sell their stuff. Some is fabulous (a lot of jewelry makers and fun t-shirts, for example) and some is rather horrifying.

This, though...THIS is funny. The Regretsy blog -- highlighting the weird, the wonderful and the simply odd.

Fully Conservative!

I can't decide whether to laugh or sigh over this one. Apparently conservatives over at the near-parody site, Conservapaedia (where they have started to define their own little reality, as opposed to the rest of the world, I guess) aren't happy with the Bible and have decided to rewrite it. (And no, this is apparently not a hoax nor a bad joke.)

That Jesus fellow was a bit too liberal for them. Too much 'give to the poor', 'care for your neighbor' and 'do unto others'. Nope! They want more support for the free market, less touchy-feely niceness, more condemnation, more paternalism, and more hellfire and damnation.

I shouldn't be surprised, I guess. Every single religious group wants to rewrite the bible/reinterpret the bible to fit their own views. That it took this long for "conservatives" to add their heavy-handed dose of moralism and politics to to the list is the actual surprise. I'm sure this version will emphasize their "family values", even if it means bastardizing the text to do so.

Where they got the idea that it was the "liberals" who wrote, edited, collated, and interpreted the bible, I have no idea. Obviously they aren't that knowledgeable about biblical (or world) history. But they want a Whole New Bible with all the 'bias' removed. Because, you know, two thousand years of biblical criticism, theology, and religious analysis have been totally wrong the whole time! Aren't you just quivering with excitement that a bunch of 'conservatives" have decided to FIX the bible?

What about the Biblical Literalists? Aren't the most conservative of the christian sects on the end of the spectrum that believes the bible is without flaw? And even if it is not inerrant, it is divinely inspired..do they really believe that everyone is wrong and that rewriting it is necessary? Will anyone using another bible transation be considered an un-believer now, since the message is changed? So much for the Bible as a holy book with inspirational power, eh?

And, just to add a dose of hilarity to the process - -they aren't actually going to go back to the original texts...they are going to rewrite the King James Version of the bible to fit their lovely set of beliefs. I suppose it's like a meaner, less-accurate version than the Surfer Bible, when you come right down to it. A target for ridicule and mockery, nothing more.

And just look at the criteria! I had no idea that christians were clamoring for a "fully conservative" version of the bible. Can you even call that a bible anymore?

As of 2009, there is no fully conservative translation of the Bible which satisfies the following ten guidelines:

1. Framework against Liberal Bias: providing a strong framework that enables a thought-for-thought translation without corruption by liberal bias
2. Not Emasculated: avoiding unisex, “gender inclusive” language, and other modern emasculation of Christianity

Oh, yes, gotta make sure to preserve that paternalistic, opporessive male-dominated society. Them uppity wimmen are just causing problems left and right. (I'm curious where they are finding 'gender inclusive' language in any standard translation of the bible, except perhaps for humankind instead of mankind.) Is that what is emasculating? That we might say "humankind" or take the meaning of 'mankind' to mean men and women? Ok, let's go back to the sexist language of the bible and make sure to put women in their place - at home, as chattel. Oh, goody.

3. Not Dumbed Down: not dumbing down the reading level, or diluting the intellectual force and logic of Christianity; the NIV is written at only the 7th grade level

So, they should be reading in the original Greek, Hebrew, Aramaic and Latin, right? Admittedly, there are a boatload of "new age" translations of the bible that remove the purposely archaic and ponderous language of the KJV to make it more accessible to many people. It is dumbed down if it doens't contain the thees and thous and spakests? On what do they base the idea that a passage is "dumbed down"? -- just disliking the text is not reason enough. Well, ok, maybe it is for them. The KJV is already a primarily word-for-word translation, and the NIV is only slightly more understandable.

Anyone who has actually tried to read the bible in any of the original languages, or in a word-for-word parallel translation, would never say that the bible is 'dumbed down' and needs to be fixed. And, without understanding the very complex koine Greek (the original language of the New Testament), how can they possibly make any word changes based on the KJV alone? That is just dishonest and deceitful. But, truth doesn't seem to be the goal of this particular endeavor.

And, how insulting - the NIV is the 1978 translation of the Bible, long hailed as a very good translation, and is the most popular bible translation used by evangelical churches. I'm sure they'll be thrilled to be told that they are wrong.

4. Utilize Powerful Conservative Terms: using powerful new conservative terms as they develop; defective translations use the word “comrade” three times as often as “volunteer”; similarly, updating words which have a change in meaning, such as “word”, “peace”, and “miracle”.

Oh, yes. Because the original Hebrew and Greek texts used the wrong word. Words have specific meaning that can't just be discardes. That's staying true to the message of the original text. So this version is going to be specifically geared towards a conservative political and social agenda, no matter what the actual words in the original are. They don't really matter any more -- it's the way that they can be used and twisted now that are important. Gotcha. That sort of throws the infallibility and god's word part of biblical history down the tubes. And on what sort of scholarship do they base the comment "defective translation"? None, I'm guessing. I'm sure it's "We really want Jesus to say HATE here instead of FORGIVE, so we'll just change his words a teeny little bit...there! Now our social agenda has a biblical basis!"

This is the "goal" that is most objectionable, actually. What in the hell are 'powerful conservative terms"? Loaded code words? Why is the use of comrade - a venerable and context-appropriate word, objectionable? Because to the simple-minded it cannot mean anything except a left-wing label? Comrade and volunteer are not the same word and have very different meanings. What purpose replacing them except to skew the text?

5. Combat Harmful Addiction: combating addiction by using modern terms for it, such as “gamble” rather than “cast lots”;[5] using modern political terms, such as “register” rather than “enroll” for the census

6. Accept the Logic of Hell: applying logic with its full force and effect, as in not denying or downplaying the very real existence of Hell or the Devil.

Conservative religion is nothing without the opportunity to threaten your opponents with hell and damnation. The bible actually has very little to say about hell...they must be adding it in to fulfil their own fantasy. Kind of scary, actually. And, this really sort of contradicts number 8 below about 'adding shit in that wasn't there to start with'. Must be ok if its their stuff.

7. Express Free Market Parables; explaining the numerous economic parables with their full free-market meaning

Oh, because first century prophets were proponents of the free-market philosophy and Jesus was all for corporate sponsorship and wide-open capitalism. Well, that's obvious! How could we have missed that in the existing text?

8. Exclude Later-Inserted Liberal Passages: excluding the later-inserted liberal passages that are not authentic, such as the adulteress story

Um, inserted by who, exactly. What about the later-inserted passages that aren't so liberal, but that support their ideology...those are ok, right? These right-wing ideologs know better than the combined scholarship of the church history, what should and shouldn't be included? And we're talking about the collection of stories with possibly hundreds of authors, copied and rewritten hundreds of times with all the intention and unintentional changes that entails. THsi is like making a copy of a copy of a copy a thousand times removed and claiming that you have recovered the original meaning. What unmitigated arrogance.

9. Credit Open-Mindedness of Disciples: crediting open-mindedness, often found in youngsters like the eyewitnesses Mark and John, the authors of two of the Gospels

Ah, so we can pick and choose which bits of the gospel they want to believe, because all those other authors aren't as accurate as a purported eyewitness without much evidence and who wrote contradictory stories. Got it.

10. Prefer Conciseness over Liberal Wordiness: preferring conciseness to the liberal style of high word-to-substance ratio; avoid compound negatives and unnecessary ambiguities; prefer concise, consistent use of the word “Lord” rather than “Jehovah” or “Yahweh” or “Lord God.”

But they're not going to "dumb down" the bible, (see 3, above), just remove all that exceess, high-falutin' academic wordiness...complex ideas can rarely be expressed in simple terms, but these idiots are more concerned with the appearance of intellectualism than with actual accuracy. Hah. And what is "word-to-substance' ratio? I suppose that some of the more nuanced ideas might be a bit too dififcult for the Fox News cohort to grasp. They seem to want a soundbite bible, without any neccessity for actual critical thought or worry about shades of gray in interpretation.

They also don't seem to understand the reasons behind the different words and the ambiguities in the bible - preferring instead to gloss over the different authors, different ideas, different contexts to clarify their New Word for a simpler, more gullible audience.

What idiots.

It's not much different than the thousands of interpretatios and 'teachings' put forward by various churches, really. I've heard some really ridiculous and somewhat scary "meanings" attributed to bible verses by some people. So finally trying to codify your own "version' of the bible by publishing your edited, bowdlerized, "special" version isn't too far off. It's the next step, I guess - you can now claim the bible says anything you want, just rewrite it to say what you want and voila! Instant validation, espeically if you can still manage to claim divine inerrancy and the factual truth of the now-rewritten bible you just produced. How convenient.

Now, I don't take anything in the bible is anything more than allegorical myth, but I do accept that there is a historical body of scholarship that lies behind it. There are reasons that it says what it says, and contains what it contains, and you can evaluate the context, history, authorship, and concordance of the bible based on well-accepted criteria. As a work of literature, it has a long and colorful history. As a work of religious expression, it has been used and misused through history to rationalize and justify behavior, both good and bad.

I suppose that I should not be so upset over this particular revision - with several hundred bible revisions in English alone, the differences and changes are monumental already. I just recoil at the idea of rewriting it with a specific purpose in mind and presenting it as a 'corrected version' that fundamentally intends to change the content, not just the dialect, with very little scholarly input. It is as offensive an effort as expurgating classics, like rewriting Huck Finn to eliminate the racial content because it offended someone, or changing Shakespeare to eliminate "new" word usage, which are considered a gift to the English language. Neither of these things is improved by changing content, which is far different than translation. It's one thing to express the intent of the text in another language (even Cockney or Ska!) , quite another to change the meaning of the words without valid reason to.

logos (word) does not equal Truth, no matter how much you want it to (one of the suggestions is to replace the word "word" in the beginning of the Gospel of John, and replace it with "truth"). The rest of their "examples" on the website are equally specious. Shrewd does not equal resourceful, unless you intend to change the meaning of the passage. And only in the mind of a fanatic does using the word 'laborer' mean that the author has a socialist agenda. Tin-foil hat time, people. Get a grip.

Do we really need a more conservative message shouted from the pulpit? -- that's the way to create a Christian Taliban: don't question, don't think, just obey the hyped-up language and political ideals spoken from a religious leader. This rewrite seems to imply that every christian worshipping today needs to be more conservative, to combat some imagined flaw in society. And if you aren't that conservative, you are reading a dumbed down version (NIV) and not getting the 'real' message. That turns the tables a bit, actually - how often have non-believers heard "you're not reading it right. You don't understand it properly".

I think the bible has a lot of good ideas in it, and I think that using it as a guide for figuring out 'the truth' helps a lot of people. But combine the idea that 'we need to conservatize the bible with a political agenda' with the widespread acceptance of the bible as "gods words" - how many people will go along with the idea and shove the philisophy of the christian church even further to the right?

Hopefully, this farce will be rejected for what it is: a novelty, a boutique version of a book that is clearly recognized as a parody or amusing alternative version. Hell, the bible has been translated into Klingon and Elvish, there is a Rasta version and Surfer Bible and and Illumintaed Goth version. I think, though, that these translations are not trying to change the basic message, as the Conservapaedia version seems to intend. Hence, my complaint.

Well, maybe not the Klingon version. I can't imagine they're all into the Golden Rule.

Blurts of Muppet Laughter

This just made me laugh and laugh and laugh today.

From "bertisevil"