Passive-Aggressive Chocolate

My whole evening is off-kilter.

The lovely, enormous box of assorted chocolates that I received as a gift does not include a decoder ring. Now I have several pounds of unidentified dark and milk chocolate which should include things like buttercream or caramel but more often have some sort of disgusting coconut concoction or weird jam-bits inside.

After ending up with a mouthful of something that I think included mocha and marzipan and possibly raisins, I'm not feeling particularly Forrest Gump-ishly optimistic about the whole thing. They should market this stuff as Passive-Aggressive Chocolate. "Here! Eat this lovely decadent dark chocolate...it will be good. Ha-ha! Fooled you! It's coconut shreds!"

I've resorted to poking through the bottom of each piece to determine whether it's edible and leaving the mangled chocolates in the box. This does not endear me to the other occupant of the Phouka household. Feh.