To-MAY-to, To-MAH-to

Sometimes, people should not use big words. A poster on TT posted this earlier in the week, after the announcement of the death of Jesse Helms. I didn't hear this -- I'm not sure where 'local" is for this person, but I still got a chuckle out of this.

I just heard a local newsperson talking about the career of Jesse Helms, saying that while he was often controversial, he spent many meretricious years serving his country.

Freudian slip? Big word confusion?

The word does not mean "full of merit" or "worthy of respect", as was probably intended here.

Main Entry: mer·e·tri·cious

Pronunciation: \ˌmer-ə-ˈtri-shəs\

Function: adjective

Etymology: Latin meretricius, from meretric-, meretrix prostitute, from merēre to earn — more at merit

Date: 1626

1: of or relating to a prostitute : having the nature of prostitution <meretricious relationships>
2 a: tawdrily and falsely attractive meretricious trash — Carolyn See> b: superficially significant : pretentious meretricious but stylish books

Sometimes the typos and misspeaking are far more amusing than they should be.

Now That's Fancy!

I am a bad person. This made me laugh like a hyena.

" Debra Jackson said she likes shopping at the Dollar Palace because it is convenient and casual.

"I don't have to get all dressed up like I'm going to Wal-Mart or something," she said, adding she shops at Williams' store "to pick up my cleaning supplies."

It's an actual news clipping from the Daily Town Talk -- you can see the actual clip here.

Ironic

While it's entirely possible that Windows is running on this laptop, the picture is awfully amusing!

From failblog.org

Geeky Birthday

The Adorable Husband knows me really well.

For my birthday, no jewelry, no foofery...but instead a 2T external backup drive for my computer. Two terabyptes. Vistas of space! Yeeha!

Deal or No Deal

Here's an interesting little widget: the cost of the War in Iraq.


click here to learn more

Since I know that about seven people read the blog, it probably won't freak out the bandwidth.

Good, Good Wine

Well, we've made the unsurprising discovery that we really, really like the uber-expensive bottle of wine we got for our anniversary. Really. As in, "yeah, I guess it really IS worth that much money..."

This is not necessarily a good discovery, of course. Now I'm going to feel guilty for wanting to buy more of it. It's probably good that there is a seriously limited amount of it available -- Mollydooker Velvet Glove shiraz. Yum. I don't pay a huge amount of attention to the wine ratings from all the wine magazines, but when a wine scores 98, 99 from more than one of them, it's probably as close to perfect as I'm going to find.

We are fans of Australian wines in general (must be our "broad American palates" that like the rich fruit) and I don't think we've had any of the Mollydooker wines that we didn't like. We've stocked up on their Boxer and recommend it whole heartedly to everyone!

But if you're looking for a nice bottle for a special occasion -- and are willing to drop two hundred bucks on the bottle for that special occassion...well, this is one I'd be more than happy to share with you!

Not my brand of "patriotism"

A booth at the Texas Republican State Convention is selling buttons with such lovely sentiments as "if Obama is president, will we still call it the white house?". WTF?

The company, RepublicanMarket (google for it, I don't want to give them a link), sells "Patriotic and Republican Products". By whose definition? Certainly not mine (and I hope not that of most Republicans). But this is Texas, so I'm not really surprised that this booth managed to get space at the convention. If I were a Republican, I'd be ashamed. As it is, I'm just disgusted. I would expect to see this sort of thing in a sidewalk vendor's cart, or online...not at a formal convention. Apparently some in the party have nothing to peddle but hate and war. Not quite the inclusive and accepting picture they've been trying to paint, eh?

I'm waiting for the spin that tries to explain how this button (and others, like 'Life's a B**tch, don't vote for one!" and "Press 1 for English, press 2 for Deportation") is not a disgusting, repulsive expression of racism, bigotry, and stupidity.

I can only hope that they are no longer peddling their wares at the convention, but I have no idea what the rules are regarding that.

Brawny Labor

Friends of ours are redoing their kitchen. Wait, "kitchen" is too small a description for the work that they are doing on their house -- knocking down walls, popping out the front of the house, framing in a laundry room in the breezeway, making the kitchen at least twice as large. It's going to be fabulous!

So their new refrigerator arrived yesterday and it required several brawny men to move it insdie. No wonder - it weight something like 500 pounds. It took four of the guys almost an hour to get it unwrapped, on the wheelie thing and up the few stairs into the house. Of course, the kitchen isn't quite done yet, so they're going to live with the fridge/freezer (all 48 cubic feet) in their living room for awhile.

I can't wait to see the finished product -- when we showed up yesterday, Mae was finishing up a plaster finish on the walls in the living room, which gets me thinking that I need something cool on MY living room walls and taht we should repaint the bedroom....the Adorable Husband just laughs.

I think we need to repaint our bedroom. The mediterranean green is not making me happy anymore. Sigh.

Bonk!

I've been getting a bunch of books lately based on recommendations from my Online Invisible Friends -- they're a widely-read bunch with some rather interesting choices.

On their recommendation, I picked up Bonk, by Mary Roach - "the curious coupling of science and sex" -- basically, a history of sex research. It's an absolute hoot. Her style is breezy and irreverent, and I actually laughed out loud a couple of times while reading. She is also the author of Stiff and Spook - studies of cadavers and life-after-death, in the same style.

It's worth it to just read the footnotes -- I kept interrupting the Adorable Husband (reading his own book) to read the footnotes out loud. I think my favorite thing in Bonk is the footnote which warns that "if you know what is good for you, you will not do a Google search on the words 'scrotum' and 'elephantiasis'."

Well, that, and the researcher who dresses mice up in polyester pants.

We Might Listen

Isn't it nice how he makes it sound like abiding by SC decisions is optional?

Q Mr. President, also back home, the Supreme Court ruled that Guantanamo detainees have rights under the Constitution to challenge their detention in U.S. civilian courts. Doesn't this rebuke of your policy on detainees validate the criticism that Gitmo has gotten all over the world, especially here in Europe?

PRESIDENT BUSH: First of all, it's a Supreme Court decision; we'll abide by the Court's decision. That doesn't mean I have to agree with it. It's a deeply divided Court, and I strongly agree with those who dissented, and their dissent was based upon their serious concerns about U.S. national security.

[...]

And we'll study this opinion, and we'll do so with this in mind, to determine whether or not additional legislation might be appropriate, so that we can safely say, or truly say to the American people: We're doing everything we can to protect you.

I actually feel much safer knowing that the out-of-control disregard for the constitution and civisl rights has been curbed, at lesat nominally.

You're F-ing kidding me

When American decided to charge for checking any baggage on their flights, I thought - well, that sucks. I'm sure it's because of fuel costs, but what a ridiculous and stupid way to handle that.

Now United has done the same thing. I have preferentially flown United out of Denver for a long time. No longer. They, too, are going to charge for ANY checked baggage -- the first back is 15 bucks, the second + are 25.

So -- guess what you can look forward to? Every single person bringing on every single thing they own into the cabin. Everyone will have carry on luggage. Everyone will have a LOT of carryon luggage. Just wait until you have to fly someplace for vacation and that family of four wants to avoid an extra sixty bucks in baggage fees. Oh, yes, sit with your coat on your lap and every single storage space in the plane full. You wanted that space under the seat for your feet? So sorry, you'll have to put your wheely under there if you aren't one of the first twelve people on the plane.

I cannot even BEGIN to express how angry this makes me. It's just stupid and will make flying -- already getting onerous -- into a completely misery.

If they had just upped the cost of every fare by 10 bucks or so -- hey, I understand that fuel costs are skyrocketing and everyone is suffering -- I wouldn't have batted an eyelash. But reinforce the rigid hierarchy of flyers (remember, business and first class are exempt) by reminding us again that flying coach is flying cattle car and they dont' give a fuck for our comfort or safety, well, that's going to be fun.

So, United? F-ck you for following in American's misguided footsteps. If itt's at all possible, I'l fly some other airline. So not only will you lose my extra fifteen bugs for bagage -- and whatever premium you ask me for to upgrade to Economy Plus, you have lost my fare. Maybe you don't care, maybe you have too many passengers already. Sure seems like it.

Want some Candy?

This is all over the web -- Gummi Lighthouses. It's work-safe but pretty damn funny.

I can't believe no one, um...noticed this. And it's not just that mind is in the gutter!

Turing Test

Finally, a science validates that the walks-like-a-duck, quacks-like-a-duck = duck example. I feel all wam and fuzzy that I have an actual flowchart to follow now! Makes it feel oh, so much more valid! And science-y!
Actually, the check for pants is what made me laugh.

Tender and Tasty

Over the weekend, I picked up a book called Survival Wisdom and Know How (well, I picked up a whole bunch of books from the neighborhood garage sale, most of them from a woman living down the road who is an anthropologist who spent many years at digs in Egypt!) and we spent the evening watching movies and paging through the book. Thousands to tips on how to survive alone in the wilderness in just about any situation. (This should come in handy when we become post-apocalyptic warlords, I figure)

Early on the book, discussing survival in the arctic, there is a side-bar that announces in scary italics:

Do not eat polar bear liver. It contains toxic levels of vitamin A

I read this out loud to the Adorable Husband, who paused a moment, in thought, then announced.

"If I'm in a situation in the arctic where I have killed a polar bear to survive, a little extra vitamin A isn't going to worry me a bit. I killed a polar bear. I am INVINCIBLE!"

Considering that polar bears are one of the few animals that consider us quite tasty, I'm inclined to agree!

Heckuva Job, George!

As everyone knows (or should!) I'm not a fan of George Bush. Not a lot of people are. He's terribly worried about his "legacy", and if you visit Heckuvajobgeorge.com, you can add your observations to the collection. And, from the website,this little gem:

Q: You say we are writing these letters to George W. Bush, but will he ever see them?

A: The book Heckuva Job, George! will be delivered to George W. Bush. We can't promise, though, that he'll read it. If he does, we can't promise he'll read it right-side-up

Send a note!

Book Rental

Wow, I would gladly pay a rental fee to read books. I mean, of course! But it would be nice if that sort of thing was, you know, free.

Nah, that would never happen....

(Courtesy of FailBlog - which had me in tears, I was laughing so hard)

Of course, there really is such a thing, strange though it may be. Bookswim. LIke a netflix for books. I have to admit to being a big boggled. But I suppose, for people without a local lending library, or the ability to get out to it....

Welsh Soulmates

While doing some research for our next trip, I ran across a recommendation for a book called "Castles in the Air" , by Judy Corbett-- the story of a young couple who bought Gwydir Castle in Wales and have worked to restore it. The castle was a partial ruin, roof-less, invaded by bats and rats, and horribly 'renovated" in the 60s to be a sort of "rave club".

I've always fantasized about living in a castle -- so I sat down and devoured this book in one sitting. Her writing style is a bit florid and overly precious, but the story really resonated with me. Almost penniless, unemployed , they ran across this dilapidated pile and instantly fell in love. ALmost two years later, they moved in -- sleeping on cots, cooking on a camp stove, no hot water, and sharing the place with the creepy crawlies, birds, various rodents, and (if the author is to believed) ghosts.

"I was so saddened that such a venerable old house had been brought to its nknees in this way. I wanted to wrap my arms around it and comfort it as you would a small child. The more I saw, the angrier I became, angry with the people and the authorities who had allowed this to happen. And with that anger came another, fiercer emotion which took me completely by surprise. I know as I ran my fingers over the damaged walls and as I picked up the broken shards of stained glass which lay scattered across the floorboards, that I would be prepared to anything to save this house."

Now, it's not my dream to live in a historically-accurate restoration sans electricity and running water, but the idea of bringing back a ruined house appeals to me tremendously. I'd prefer not to do it while living in squalor, but I absolutely understand that first, strong, emotional tie to the house. While the two are hardly comparable, that's exactly how I felt when we bought our first house -- a run-down, much-abused Folk Victorian with sagging porches, a leaking roof, and the full measure of dirt and grime from its hundred-year life. Houses have a sense, a personality, if you will, that really speaks to someone. Not every "gets it", I guess, but for the Adorable Husband and I, our two house purchases have been made on the basis of "yes, this is the RIGHT HOUSE. This one feels right." I doubt we would buy a house and move if we didn't have that instant and immediate connection.

We bought our current house after walking through it ONE time, and we weren't even looking to move. (As a matter of fact, when we had seriously discussed moving, the idea of leaving my old house made me so sad that I cried for hours) We were walking through the neighborhood and looking into all the open houses, just as entertainment for a Saturday afternoon. We walked into our current house, and within fifteen minutes, met in the living room and announced, rather dramatically, 'Well, crap. Now we have to move." We made an offer on the house the next day.

So, Judy Corbett and her husband Peter having that instant "click" with the run-down Gwydir Castle, I knew the feeling. The book follows the first five years of their restoration -- cleaning out the detritus of a century of neglect and trying to restore the house to its former glory as accurately as possible. Not always an easy task, especially when they were on the brink of penury each month just trying to keep themselves fed and warm.

Gwydir is currently open as a bed and breakfast, and work is ongoing. I can't help but feel a strong urge to go wandering the countryside in Scotland and find a decrepit pile to try my hand at it.

It actually EXISTS!

I joke alot about craving chocolate and craving bacon and having bad hormonal moments when I crave chocolate-covered bacon...I never realized that it actually exists!

From iGourmet.com, the Mo's Chocolate and Bacon Candy Bar. I know I should think that's a bit gross, but...it sounds pretty good!

Lawnmower Woes

I am going to relate this story as a disinterest third-party observer, since I don't (won't!) mow the lawn. I don't actually get a vote.

The Adorable husband was mowing the grass on Tuesday and the self-propelled drive on the lawnmower broke. The mower itself mows just fine...it just requires pushing now and offers no power-assist anything. So, he puts the mower up on blocks, pulls out the tools and confidently embarks on an effort to fix the drive. Since he is Mr. Fix-it, this should be resolved in about ten minutes.

Well, it didn't go that smoothly.There was much banging and crashing and bad language, I tell you. He came inside and rather sheepishly announced that no only could he NOT fix the mower, he wasn't even sure how it actually worked! I am shocked! Shocked! He can fix anything, and am a bit worried that he's losing his Magic.

Well, Consumer Reports suggests that a mower over 5 years old is probably not worth fixing -- the cost of parts and time outweights the cost of the (admittedly fairly cheap) lawnmower. So, Consumer Reports issue for lawnmowers in hand, we traipse off to the home store.

The magazine recommended a Toro model, which (after pushing them around in the aisle for awhile to make sure the handle adjusted high enough) we brought home. It is exceptionally rated for mulching, which we do all the time, and for ease-of-use. We had narrowed it down to the Toro and a nice Honda machine (for about $200 more). I remember clearly suggesting that the Honda was rated higher and that we should buy it, but the Adorable Husband assures me that I was rather noncommittal about the whole thing, so he picked the one that CS recommended.

Forward to this morning -- off to mow the lawn on this lovely sunny day...and it doesn't mulch well at all. Definitely not as well as the lawnmower it replaced. Hm. Consumer reports has led us astray. A brief discussion, a few minutes washing it off with the hose, and back to Home Depot we go to return it. It performed that badly.

And thus returned triumphantly with a new new Lawnmower, this time the Honda, and he's happily mowing the backyard and mulching the grass into a find powder, as far as I can tell. Success! It mulches better, and it's so quiet I can barely hear it from inside the house. Rather startlingly quiet, actually, which is worth the premium price right there.

I'm still a bit concerned that he couldn't fix the old one, mind you!

Definitely an Engineer

I was giggling through most of this -- yes, definitely an engineer!

San Francisco

We're back from our long weekend in San Francisco! What a great time -- the weather was perfect, we saw cool stuff, had great meals, rode cablecars and streetcars. Lots of fun. My feet are sore from walking so much -- they aren't kidding about the hills!

We had a lovely hotel up on Nob Hill, just a block or so off from the main cable car routes, and we walked along the waterfront to see the sights on Friday, then went to Alcatraz for their night tour. Saturday we went to Chinatown and the Farmer's Market and then to a fabulous dinner show at Teatro Zinzanni, and on Sunday drove up to Muir Woods to see the giant redwoods and drive along the coast highway.

Absolutely fabulous!

And Who Supports the troops?

Irony Alert

The [veterans' benefit] measure would guarantee that veterans who have served for three years since Sept. 11 will receive tuition assistance that could pay for the most expensive public universities in each of their states. The bill would also extend unemployment benefits and provide money for levee construction in New Orleans. Bush has spoken up against the bill, saying that the expanded veterans' education benefits would motivate people to leave the military rather than re-enlist.

Cool New Toys

The Adorable Husband is going to be seriously unproductive at work today. Why? Last night he bought an Apple iPhone, and he's going to be playing with it all day, I'm sure.

It is amazingly cool. Apple has definitely clicked with the consumer on design. The iPhone, like the iPods and other apple gadgets is sexy. Smooth and rounded and comfortable and just a joy to hold.

And the iPhone? Live maps, watch videos, get email -- it's absolutely cool. We're heading to San Francisco today, and having the turn-by-turn maps available in an instant is going to be a huge help!

Now I want one. I have absolutely no need for one at all, really, but I waaaant one.

And Flying Keeps Getting Better

Apparently, American Airlines is going to charge for checked baggage -- even the first bag. Quite a few airlines have started charging for a second checked bag, but the first?

Passengers will be charged $15 for their first piece of luggage. The airline, blaming high fuel costs, also plans other fee hikes, domestic flight cutbacks and layoffs.

With oil prices hitting new records almost daily, the nation's largest air carrier, American Airlines, announced drastic steps Wednesday to "remain viable," including charging new fees for all checked baggage, slashing domestic flights and laying off thousands of workers. ...

How does this sound lik e a good idea? All I can see as a result is people now trying to carry on everything they own in as large as bag as they can possible sneak through security. It's already bad enough that people's carryons are reaching the size of steamer trunks, but now let's actively discourage people from checking luggage! Yes, that's the ticket!

My immediate response to this news was "well, I won't ever fly American". And I won't.

Banking Good Karma

My sister was fired on Monday from her job as a home healthcare nurse (there is a very long story here, which has a good dose of karmic retribution, but you'd have to ask her about it). She called me in tears around noon.

It's tough getting fired. No matter what the reason, no matter what the circumstances, you feel like shit.

Which is why it's so satisfying that it took her less than 16 hours to get another job. Not even a whole day. Made a phone call, did an interview, starts on Friday.

Kewl!

Stolen Mac helps nab burglary suspects

A remote desktop access feature found in some Macintoshes is being credited with leading police to two suspects in the burglary of an apartment in New York.

In addition to flat-screen TVs, iPods, and DVDs, the thieves made off with two laptop computers, one of which belonged to Kait Duplaga, an Apple store employee, according to a report in the New York Times on Saturday. While police in White Plains, N.Y., were coming up empty with their investigation, Duplaga learned that her computer was being used on the Internet and turned on the Back to My Mac feature installed on her Mac from another Mac, according to the report.

The feature allowed Duplaga to see immediately how the computer was being used at the time, as well as operate it remotely. Recalling that she had a camera installed on the computer, the fast-thinking Duplaga snapped images of one of the burglary suspects before he realized what was happening, according to the Times. Duplaga showed the image to friends who recognized the suspect as someone who attended a party at the apartment.

The photo lead police to arrest two suspects on Wednesday and recover nearly all the stolen property

Barbie Mommie

This is just weird on so many levels. Yeah, I know that you want to have some sort of assistance discussing things with your kids, but --a cartoon-ey, Barbie-esque mom explaining plastic surgery? Is this really necessary? Well, maybe it is. But I can't shake a feeling "eeeuuuuu" over this. Especially considering the perky illustrations.

"Being a doctor, I can't deal with the political or philosophical arguments" surrounding cosmetic surgery, Salzhauer said. "I have to deal with reality." The book, he said, gives parents "a vehicle to explain the plastic surgery process to their kids" who may be too young to understand why a parent is choosing to undergo an appearance-altering operation.

The bulk of his practice, Salzhauer said, consists of women between 20 and 40 undergoing what he calls "mommy makeovers": breast implants, breast lifts and tummy tucks.

And that's where you lost me. Oh, let's perpetuate this bizarre and false ideal of women's beauty, where bared midriffs at age 40 are normal and women well beyond their teenage years are wearing spandex pants and sporting perky breasts. When did it become so horrific to get older that attractive women in the prime of life have to have "adjustments" because they don't look like Barbie?

I don't know whether to laugh or cry," said Diana Zuckerman, president of the nonprofit National Research Center for Women and Families, after reading "My Beautiful Mommy."

"This is disturbing on so many levels," she added. "For one thing, it perpetuates a completely unrealistic ideal" of female beauty: the large-breasted, wasp-waisted, midriff-baring Barbie-doll look.

Is framing this to children as "beautiful mommy" just going to reinforce the idea that if you're not thin and beautiful that you should change? That you are not as good? I just don't like the message here. Of course, leaving forty behind me has probably biased my view just a wee bit!

(I haven't actually read the book, just clicked through the few illustrations offered.)

Severe Irony Impairment

Like Nancy Pelosi, or don't like her, but she's certainly doing her job to consolidate Democratic power in congress, and deal with those across the aisle.

House Republican leaders say she shuts them out of the process. They used delaying tactics yesterday, preventing House action on housing foreclosure legislation to protest her refusal to let them amend that and a pending Iraq War spending bill.

During an angry exchange on the floor, House Republican Leader John Boehner shouted that "the majority has an obligation to treat the minority with respect.'' ...

Um. Yeah. Just like the Republicans did when they were in the majority. It's ok if they use delaying tactics, that's just "good politics", I guess. But put the shoe on the other foot? Whoo-boy. Irony impaired is the least of it. Politicians in general make my teeth itch.

Idiocy on Parade

A substitute teacher in Florida (that bastion of clear-thinking. NOT!) has been suspended and one of the reasons is an accusation of -- get this -- wizardry.

Doing a simple magic trick to break the ice with the class he was substituting for is apparently enough reason to dismiss him. Ooh. Making a toothpick "disappear" for a room full of school kids is, apparently, verboten. Because, you know, it's...(insert ominous music here) wizardry.

Really? I mean...really? I simply cannot imagine that anyone actually said this. I can't imaging any situation in which this is something that would be taken seriously. Well, maybe in a mental institution, or the back-room of a sci-fi convention after too many Jell-o shots, but accusing a teacher of wizardry. I first thought this was the Onion, but no. It's from Land-o-Lakes, FL, Rushe Middle School. A real person actually made the complaint.

"I get a call the middle of the day from the supervisor of substitute teachers. He says, 'Jim, we have a huge issue. You can't take any more assignments. You need to come in right away,'" he said.

When Piculas went in, he learned his little magic trick cast a spell that went much farther than he'd hoped.

"I said, 'Well Pat, can you explain this to me?' 'You've been accused of wizardry,' [he said]. Wizardry?" he asked.

I can't honestly tell if the school district was seriously considering this complaint, but it was apparently mentioned. The school district has said that there are other reasons to dismiss him, which are perfectly reasonable. The fact that they actually seemed to treat this as a serious issue -- at least enough to mention it without prefacing the entire encounter with "can you believe what someone said? Really?" is what makes this so laughable. The principal actually requested that he be dismissed.

Thanks a Lot

If you are one of the lucky ones who will get a check for the "economic stimulus package" this month, I just wanted to pass on this little info:

For a typical motorist -- someone who drives 15,000 miles a year and gets 25 miles to the gallon -- the cost of gasoline has gone up $600 in the past year -- the exact amount of the individual rebate. Of course, without the stimulus, people would have squeezed spending elsewhere to pay for gas.

I know you're supposed to spend in on stuff, and go out there and stimulate the economy, but most people are going to use it to pay bills, or make up for shortfalls someplace else. Making up for the gas price increase is at least useful, I guess.

Spellcheck Failure

This shouldn't be as funny as it is, really. But, having seen actual business documents with some of these problems, I had to share.

Wichita, woe is me

I got stuck in Wichita. I'm sick, and my plane is late. If the decongestants fail while I'm on the plane, I may be in the headline news tomorrow because someone will die. Maybe me, maybe some poor innocent bystander who complains about my snuffling.

Gah.

Not my Peeps

The ongoing search for the perfect living room continues, and we got a tip from friends to check out this boutique store in Cherry Creek - Djuna.

Great stuff. I walked into the store and immediately loved the sofa in the front window.

It's $13,000. THIRTEEN. THOUSAND. DOLLARS. Just let that sink in for a moment. 1-3-0-0-0.

Who on earth spends that much on a sofa? Not me, I can tell you that. THat's more than I spent for my first car. Add in a chair and it would be more than I paid for my current car!

We found a whole bunch of funky sofas, though, and we both really like another one from the same designer, which is only 8K. Still too much to pay for furniture, says my Minnesotan Conscience. Waaay to much.

So we bagged the sofa search and walked over to the mall to get some lunch. As we sat down to eat, the Adorable Husband leans over and says, "you know, I know that we make at least as much money as the people who are shopping here, but...do you feel underdressed and out-of-place?"

Cherry Creek is a very high-end mall, and we spent the rest of lunch watching the people coming and going. Very well dressed, more as if shopping was an event to see and be seen. I definitely felt like we were dumpy and in the wrong place. These are definitely not "my peeps". The people who shop here own 47 pairs of shoes and put on Italian loafers to go shopping. They're coiffed. THey're fully made up. No one is walking around in sweatpants. Every baby carriage is the uber-SUV model.

So yeah, I do feel underdressed and out of place. It as distinctly uncomfortable. Weird.

Factoid for the Day

"At autopsy Napoleon was over 5 feet 6 inches tall -- the average height of adult men at that time. Thus, "the little corporal" was not that little. The popular misconception that Napoleon was short may derive from the fact that the French "foot" ("pied de roi") was 12.78 inches. Thus, when French sources gave his height as 5 feet 2 inches, the height in English feet would have been 5 feet 6 and a half inches."

Teenagers

Ok, I'm back dating a couple of these to fill everyone in with how life at Chez Phouka has been in the last week. I've been horrifically busy with work, so here goes:

We had a readjustments of the dogpack here over the weekend. Rowan has been subtly and not-to-subtly pushing to be "top dog" amongst the beasties for a while now. He's as big as Uulaq and seems to be a much pushier personality than she is. Up until now, Uulaq has been in charge just due to being the "old dog" and having been here the longest. As the puppies near a year old, though, Rowan is feeling his oats.

They've had a few scuffles in the last weeks -- nothing too serious, just snarking and biting and general noise-and-furor. We've separated them, and they both got scolded for that sort of behavior in the house. Sunday, though, they did it again and Uulaq backed down (well, backed down is probably not the right word -- hightailed it into my office and hid behind my desk is a better description) and Rowan was the de facto winner.

It went to his head. For the next two days, he was constantly picking on the other two -- demanding their toys, wanting to sleep in their beds, shouldering them out of position to eat, that sort of thing. Newly minted kingship made him a pain in the butt. He figured he was now very important, and lorded if over everyone. Uulaq and Berit seem to go along with this just fine, and the humans in the household reasserted our "we have thumbs" superiority easily enough.

But then...Rowan put on his "I'm So Damned Special Hat" and went to dog camp. When all the other dogs didn't immediately bow to his specialness, he apparently picked fights all day long, culiminating in a serial fight with three different dogs in the space of a few minutes. They had to turn the hose on him to get him to back off. No one was hurt at all -- just a lot of excitement and scared dogs. No one was worried that Rowan would bit a person, but he was out of control. We were informed of the "incident" and took him home -- he was all out of sorts and we figured either he didn't feel well, had been totally traumatized by the hose, or was sulking.

Most likely, he's just a teenager. He's hit that stupid stage where he is defiant, bratty, and just plain horrid while he figures out what th enew rules are now that he weighs 90 pounds and isn't a "puppy" anymore. Note that Berit is just fine through all of this. Sweet and loveable.

Wednesday, he was not much better. No more fighting, but he was definitely not his normal self. No wagging, no nothing. He spend most of the day hiding in the living room by the chair or laying on the porch outside. Most definitely something wrong. We chalked it up to the Bad Day on Tuesday and decided to ignore it.

Yesterday, though, I htink I may have discovered the source of the problem. I locked myself in my office and went to work, and at some point during the day he apparently had some sort of distress and went into the corner of the dining room and left the biggest pile of poop that I have ever seen come out of one of our dogs. Seriously -- for a second, I was trying to figure out how all three dogs had managed to hit the exact same spot. I'm talking pounds here. Circus-shovel needed for cleanup. I only passed on taking a picture because would be just too gross, but I'll admit that it did occur to me.

I know it was him for several reasons: 1) Uulaq would never do that in the house. She's explode first, 2) Both Uulaq and Berit would whine or scratch at the door before that happened, 3) I saw both of them doing their own business outside that morning and 4) he slunk around like the guilty party when I discovered it.

Process of elimination (no pun intended) led to the culprit: Rowan.

And, lo-and-behold...he's back to his happy self again. Perky, wagging, bouncing around and wanting attention. Sweet Rowan has returned.

Well, I would have been a wee bit cranky too if I'd been that backed up! Poor guy! It's no excuse for going all Cujo at the puppy camp, but it definitely would be a factor in why he was so horrid.

Regardless of why it happened, we are still in trouble at Puppy Camp. Luckly, they have had the puppies there for almost eight months and are very familiar with them, and recognize that this was really out of character for him. So, while we've been asked not to come back for a couple of weeks while things settle out, we aren't banned or anything. The owner of the camp was very happy that I understood the reasons and not upset about it (well, I am a bit upset -- it's like being called from day care and told you can't bring your kid back because they are a shithead) but we'll try again in a week or two, to see if he has gotten over his Uber-Specialness attitude.

I think he has. I think it was a combination of not feeling well and being a snotty brat, and he's probably learned his lesson. But we'll see. It's only a big issue right now becuase I'm going to be out of town for a week and the Adorable Husband has to manage the weasels by himself while being on call -- which could mean a looong time locked in my office for them. We'll see if I have an office left when I return!

Tech Geek Lust

I have an antique Royall typewriter on my desk. While I don't use it much, it makes me feel more in touch with "writing" than the plastic clack of a computer keyboard. There is something very satisfying about banging away on the old keys until the bell rings and you a have to manually return the platen to start another line.

Which is why I am lusting uncontrollably after this:


Yes, a fully functional "modern" keyboard for a computer, made from brass, copper, and original typewriter keys. I love the look of it. Don't check th FAQ for pricing unless you have a stout heart, though, these things are custom made and are works of art unto themselves.

I want one. Oh, I couldn't type on it all the time, of course (I like the soft action of a membrane-type keyboard, not the physical switches of the old IBM-type keyboards, not to mention I use a split keyboard exclusively because it hurt my hands less). But I'd just like ot have it sitting on my desk to admire it .

Schizophrenic weather

Just thought I'd let everyone know that yesterday, it was 83 degrees. Eighty-three. Hot. I turned the air conditioning on.

Today?

Right now, it's 31 degrees outside and SNOWING.

Spring in Colorado is fun, eh?

Tennis, anyone?

There is a reason that we don't have tennis balls around the house. Some dogs love them...ours just eat them.

This was a perfectly good tennis ball four minutes ago.

Chomp!

Plaaaaay with meeeeee

This is what I see during the day while working at my desk. Puppy snouts squeezed in between my monitor and speakers!

Obviously I'm not paying enough attention to the them!

Zombie Puppies

The last two times we have dropped the weasels off at camp (Camp Bow Wow), they have had a ton of dogs -- 97 last week, 60 or so this week.

With that many dogs showing up to camp each day, the puppies come home absolutely zombified. They are so tired they can barely walk, and collapse in heaps on the floor as soon as they are inside. Berit fell asleep in the hall, looking like she'd just fallen down and been unable to move. Both of them were inert lumps until the next morning (and even then, a bit groggy). Camp is goooood.


I laughed about this to my coworker, who nodded and once again confirmed that puppies are not that different from kids: her daughter (4) has been moved up to the "big kids" room at daycare and by the time she comes home at the end of the day, she's done. Look at her crosseyed and she'll completely fall apart and cry, she's so tired. She's too tired to eat. t takes a lot of work to keep up with the big kids!

Polish Tapas

Where some of these conversations come up, I have no idea. We were in the car talking about appetizers and the fact that I actually blogged a bacon-wrapped tater tot recipe because it sounded so good, and I pointed out that of course it would: I'm polish. Potatoes are my life.

Which morphed into a discussion of the perfect snack. We finally devised what we thought would be the perfect finger food for our household (Polish and Scandinavian):

White-cheddar mashed potatoes and bacon in fried wonton shells. Perhaps rolled up like tiny little potato burritos. I argued that they had to be bite-sized, so the mashed potatoes wouldn't ooze out when you tried to eat them, and the Adorable Husband proposed the little egg-roll skins instead of wontons.

Yes, we're weird. But now I have a strange craving for mashed-potato-bacon-wontons.

Brilliant Catalog

Got a link for this today -- hema.nl -- click the link and just wait, don't select any products.

Someone had a blast with this site.

What's wrong with this Picture?

CNBC has a very nice photo series showing how tax dollars are allocated - 42% to the military, 4.4% to education, etc.

Looks like we should be allotting 42% to education. Then maybe we'll mak the grad.

Pass me a beer

Saw a cute quote today:

"If television is a babysitter, then the internet is a drunk librarian that won't shut up." - unknown

I have a hard time remembering Life Without Google -- having so much information available at my fingertips, being able to look up almost everything (well, as long as you learn how to filter out the whackos, I guess) is a given nowadays. Remember when you had no options to research the best price for something? When you never saw a newspaper article from a different city? When, if you wanted to speak to a public forum, you probably could not?

Sure, the 'net is full of drivel (this blog is probably in that list!), but the ratio of good, useful information to worthless tripe is pretty good. Well, if you eliminate the porn, I guess (although I'm sure the ration of good: bad is probably the same in that genre, too).

Ultimate Geek Toys!

Ooh! I need one of these!

I was never a Doctor Who fan until the most recent incarnation -- but I am absolutely enamored of the nifty Dr. Who toys! This is a fully-functional 4-port USB hub.

It even makes noise.

New British Coin Design

Britain is issuing new coins, this year, and the redesign is a modern take on the Royal Arms. The coins look very avante garde, and they are quite attractive. (The design was chosen from a pool of proposed designs in an open 'contest' a few years ago. The winner was a London graphics designer who quite unusually treated the coins as a single entitly -- each coin contains part of the Royal Arms, and when arranged properly, they display the whole shield. It's really kind of cool). You can see the whole collection here.

The Royal Arms is divided into four parts: England being represented by the three lions passant guardant in the first and fourth quarters, the Scottish lion rampant in the second and the harp of Ireland in the third, with all four quarters spread over the six coins from the 1p to the 50p. Completing the new range of coins is the £1 coin featuring the shield of the Royal Arms in its entirety, uniting the six fragmented elements into one design.

It's only slightly unfortunate that two of the coins feature... lion butts.

Cat Charades

I can't find a video on youtube -- I think the ad is too new. But watch for the Tidy Cat commerical with the cat's playing charades, it cracked me up!

Cat owner arrives home, and starts talking to her cats about the new litter she has bought.

"Oh! Charades!" one of the cats 'says'.

"Yeah, yeah, three words..."

And they start guessing what the weird gestures are. It's absolutely hilarious, and they caught the "oh, I shall deign to notice you" attitude that cat's have perfectly.

We've all thought of it

I probably watch more television that most people. Well, maybe watch is not the correct word -- I turn the TV on for background noise, and have the History Channel or NG Channel or something similar on all day in the corner of my computer screen. It works better for me than radio.

So, it's possible that you haven't seen the new Cheetos ads. The animated Chester Cheetah has become a dark, oily sort of character who urges people to do bad things -- put Cheetos up the nose of a snoring airline passenger, squish Cheetos in a neatniks laptop, throw a handful of Cheetohs in someone else's white dryer load. Here's an example:



I'm not quite sure what to make of them, except to think, "this is going to make me buy cheetos? So I can be an asshole?" None of those things are terribly funny to me, and my response is to cringe in horror...probably not what the marketing department wanted. I am obviously not their demographic.

Yeah, I'm a Survivalist. NOT.

As everyone probably knows by now, I had a major freakout about a year and a half ago about being quarantined in my house and not being allowed to leave. No, it's not something I really worry about, but apparently I had a bad stretch where I just...obsessed.

But -- and you'll be happy to know this -- we would survive locked in my house for 378 days. Of course, that assumes we eat the dogs, I think.

Yum!

I don't know what is says about my culinary sophistication, but Bacon Wrapped Tater-Tots sounds awfully tasty.

I linked to the recipe, but it's pretty easy - wrap a tater tot in slightly pre-cooked bacon, and bake until crispy. Voila.

Well, It's OK in OK

A bill has been proposed in the OK legislature that tries to legislate religious "free speech". I'm all for free speech, I think all of us are, but this particular piece of legislation could be stepping a wee bit too far :

The bill requires public schools to guarantee students the right to express their religious viewpoints in a public forum, in class, in homework and in other ways without being penalized. If a student’s religious beliefs were in conflict with scientific theory, and the student chose to express those beliefs rather than explain the theory in response to an exam question, the student’s incorrect response would be deemed satisfactory, according to this bill. [op-ed in the Edmond Sun]

Now, I'm not entirely sure that the bill is designed for this purpose, but could easily be interpreted in this way (and given the specifically vague language, it is obvious that the writers are hoping for an equally vague enforcement. I actually support the idea that students should not be penalized for expressing their religious beliefs. School groups and organizations should not be banned from campus just because they are religious in nature. They shouldn't be given any special status, but they shouldn't be penalized either.

Expressing your faith, and having an open and honest discussion of it is fine. Up until the part where they could spout religious doctrine instead of reality. Chemistry, biology, physics, geology, and the hard sciences just don't have any relevance for religious faith. They deal in observable, empirical evidence. An answer that doesn't conform to this evidence is not valid. Period.

House Bill 2211 declares that students may "express their beliefs about religion in homework, artwork, and other written and oral assignments" without being penalized or rewarded as long as their viewpoint is on the otherwise permissible topic. Under the bill, the otherwise permissible topic is always decided by the school.

The text of the bill can be read here. Not only can it be construed to apply for test questions as noted, but it also is very clear that schools can pick and choose which religions they allow to have free speech and an open forum, and favor certain religious ideas in that forum.

This doesn't seem like a good idea for anyone, least of all the students in OK. The "religious views are just as valid as science views" idea is going to sabotage the chances of OK students to attend university outside out their own state, or seriously damage the job opportunities for those people who graduate with this sort of nonsense in place.

The danger? Well, who defines which religions are acceptable? They don't agree on everything, so whose answer is allowed? Whose opinion is going to get the support of faculty for the valedictorian speech?

Another blogger posted the following as a hypothetical answer to just about anything:

I am a last-Thursdayist.

When was America discovered? It was never discovered, because the world was created last thrusday, and it was already discovered. it was created in a state of discoveredness.

What is 1+1? According to Last Thursdayism, mathematics cannot be counted upon as being reliable, because date calculations do not give accurate results. Until it is determined if this is due to a problem with the concept of mathematics in general or just date calculations, no part of mathematics can be viewed as accurate, leading us to the conclusion that the answer may be any number.

Would this be acceptable? It's just as logical and rational as many other religious expressions. Would this be considered a valid answer to anything? Sure, the Thursdayist blogger could stand out in the quad and talk about his beliefs, could form a new student group for Thursdayism and hold meetings in the library -- but how well is this sort of thing going to be tolerated in the history classroom or the mathematics class when he stands up to dispute the dates for Columbus or the signing of the Declaration of Independence? Under what criteria are the school administrators going to decide what is and what is not ok to express? And if they disallow Last Thursdayism or FSM-ism, or Satanism or any of the other non-standard religions...how is that ensuring free speech for religious beliefsPublish Post?

It's only free speech for approved religious beliefs. Which means that the intent is not free speech at all.

Try again.

Really? I mean, really?

This might be the saddest (and yet, most hilarious thing) I've read in a while.

I seriously thought this was satire when someone sent me the link. As far as I can tell, it's quite serious. Yes, folks, the earth is motionless in the universe, and this disproves evolution and all sorts of "science". Really. And teaching evolution has a religious agenda and as such is illegal in schools. Well, that's a novel approach, I guess. They really ought to regulate this guy's meds a little better.

Uh-huh.

And it gets better - this site is linked in to anti-evolution materials in a memo sent out by Texas state representative Warren Chisum, the Republican chair of the Texas state House Appropriations Committee. He liked what he read, and deemed it important enough to copy the memo and distribute it to every member of the Texas state House of Representatives. He later claimed that he hadn't "vetted the material". Oh, ya THINK?

I cannot believe that anyone is this stupid. The Earth is fixed? I mean, really?

The Pursuit of Perfection

Can you imagine the excitement of the first round of computer programmers in the 40s? How they realized that they could do things with the computer that would change the world? Programming one of the new Zuse or ENIAC machines to run calculations that were finished in a fraction of the time of human mathematicians, expanding that programming to make decisions, track information. It must have been a heady time for those scientists.

As computer programming got more complex (early versions of the ENIAC were reprogrammed"by actually re-wiring) , it also became abundantly clear that this new "programming" thing was going to open up vistas of opportunity.

We might be working in an object-oriented word, writing java code and perl and ASP and .net now, and making computers do things that these early pioneers couldn't even conceive of. But there are some things that we still struggle with:

"As soon as we started programming, we found out to our surprise that it wasn't as easy to get programs right as we had thought. Debugging had to be discovered. I can remember the exact instant when I realized that a large part of my life from then on was going to be spent in finding mistakes in my own programs."
-Maurice Wilkes, 1949

The more things change, the more they stay the same.

Panoramas

Well, you'll either find this very, very cool, or it will freak you out to no end.

A few months ago, we saw a car driving around with cameras mounted to the roof and hood, and commented that they must either be making maps, testing GPS, or something similar. We were right!

Google has offered aerial view of most maps in the last few years (and if you've ever used Google Earth to find things, you are familiar with the satellite images), but now, if you enter in an address, many of them display with a thumbnail picture offering 'street view' images.

Click on the link, and you're in an interactive, 360 degree photo image of the actual street -- you can actually take a virtual tour of the neighborhood. Our house is in full bloom, so we assume they were here last summer; the half-painted pictures of our old house are from about the same date. Not every address is covered, of course, but I checked a few for friends and family, and lo and behold! Full color, panoramic pictures of my house and my neighbors. I think it's pretty cool, actually.

Try it here: Google Maps. Type in a full address, and see if you're covered.

How Far We've Come

I have no idea who did this (it showed up awhile ago on one of the photo sites that I browse), but it's a stunning tour-de-force of illustration, if you ask me.

Humanity Through the Ages (not terribly child-friendly, despite being cartoon drawings).

Sex, War, more sex and more war, and changing fashion, then technology and bombs. A rather succint summary of history. Love it!

Holy Crap!

Well, this is a new one. A man came home to find his house being ransacked by people waving a fake Craigslist page that said all his stuff was FREE for the taking. Even though he caught some people in the act, they refused to return his stuff -- some even argued that if it was in print on the internet, that made it legal for them to take things!

The ads popped up Saturday afternoon, saying the owner of a Jacksonville home was forced to leave the area suddenly and his belongings, including a horse, were free for the taking, said Jackson County sheriff's Detective Sgt. Colin Fagan.

But Robert Salisbury had no plans to leave. The independent contractor was at Emigrant Lake when he got a call from a woman who had stopped by his house to claim his horse.

On his way home he stopped a truck loaded down with his work ladders, lawn mower and weed eater.

"I informed them I was the owner, but they refused to give the stuff back," Salisbury said. "They showed me the Craigslist printout and told me they had the right to do what they did."

The fake ad was apparently placed by a disgruntled tenant, but c'mon people! What on earth makes you think that because a page on the internet says so, you can ransack someone's house while they are standing there telling you no. What sort of person actually tries to argue about that?

Even if the sign says "FREE", if the person there tells you that the offer is rescinded, you go your merry way, you don't argue that you're allowed to steal their stuff just becuase you have a printout!

This isn't the first time it's happened, either. At least this time, the owner was lucky enough that some honest soul had the decency to think, "hey, this seems too good to be true!" and called him.
I want to believe that people are basically honest, good people. That given the opportunity to steal or hurt someone, that they will not take the bait. But obviously, there are people out there who don't have any compunction about doing either one, if they think they have permission to do so (a print out, or someone else telling them they can do something) and if they think they aren't going to get caught. That really sucks.

Expelled!

There's a new "documentary" making the rounds called "Expelled", which is basically how all those mean old evolutionists (who are responsible for Hitler, BTW) are keeping kids from being taught the real truth about "intelligent design". P. Z. Myers, a biology professor and fierce critic of ID on his Pharyngula blog, went to a screening at the Mall of America.

It was a private screening; viewers had to sign up beforehand. Myers, who is featured in the movie, and the rest of his party signed in under their own names and were in line when a security guard came up to him and pulled him out of line. Apparently the producer of the film, who was also there, didn't want Myers to see the movie and write about it. Myers, bemused, agreed to leave, as it was a private showing and the producer was within his rights to ask him to leave. The producer obviously felt it wasn't a good thing to have one of those red-fanged atheist evolutionist types watching his movie.

Here's Myers' report of the incident.

The funny part: they apparently didn't notice Myers' guest - a fellow named...

wait for it...

...Richard Dawkins.

How absolutely brilliant. I'm still laughing.

New Glasses

Well, I have a new pair of "backup glasses", while I wait for my regular glasses next week. Since I sit in front of a computer screen every day, I absolutely demand that 'invisibles' non-glare coating on glasses and they have to send out the glasses for the coating. (Seriously, if you don't have this coating on your lenses and you either use a computer all day long or work in an office with overhead lights, you need to try them.)

So the "backup glasses" are the same frames as the other pair, but I just got the basic lenses (and they still cost a mint!)...and I'm sitting at my computer and seeing the reflection of my own eyes in the glasses. It's making me nuts! It's so distracting that I have a hard time concentrating and after having the non-glare type for so long, I can't stand them. Luckily, I should have my "real" glasses in a few days.

But the kicker in all of this? I was told quite cheerily by the 12-year-old optometrist (ok, not really, but he looked 12) told me "Good news, you don't need bifocals yet. Most women your age are getting close to bifocals...." at which point, he trailed off with embarassment as I glared at him. Women my age? Gah. Don't remind me.

Free to Good Home!

BAD, BAD puppies. I know it's a phase. They're 10 months old, every puppy goes through the Super-Destructo-Godzilla-Eats-Manhattan stage, I know this. But my patience is wearing very, very thin.

In the last two weeks, the puppies have:

1. Pulled up most of the drip system hose in the backyard and eaten it
2. Eaten chunks of the 100' garden hose in the backyard. Six or eight times. It is now a 30' garden hose
3. Eaten a 1 foot deep hole in the yard. Yes, EATEN a hole. They are not digging, they are eating their way to China.
   
4. Destroyed a library book.
   
5. Destroyed one of my books -- down to little soggy shreds
6. Disemboweled a recliner
7. Eaten at least 5 mechanical pencils, a highlighter, and Sharpie
8. Chewed a chunk off my good leather briefcase
9. Ate the cover off my electronic book reader (but did not eat the reader itself, or they would be EX-puppies)
   
10. Chewed up MY GLASSES.

Tonight they rampaged behind my desk, but did not eat the books. They get points for that. Not many points, but it is an improvement. I spend several hours today getting replacement glasses, though. I'm still pissed over that one.

They are loose in the house every night. This is not when they wreak havok. Oh, no, it's only when we leave them unattended during the daym even for a moment. Each of the above acts was committed when they were either a) alone outside for an hour or b) alone inside for less than one hour.

I'm having visions of a shock-collar set to De-Fur.

It's only a phase. Only a phase. I need to keep repeating this until they hit 2 years old, aren't I?

BAD puppies

We were gone for about 90 minutes. Maybe less. The puppies have been so good, we felt pretty confident leaving them loose in the house while we went to grab food.

They ATE the CHAIR.

The CHAIR. Pulled the foam and stuffing out and shredded it all over the living room. (I was too pissed off to takes pictures, which, in a few months, may be funny to me. Sorry!) They totally evicerated the back of the recliner.


It was the ratty green recliner we've had for fifteen years. We were looking to replace it anyway. But they ATE the CHAIR!

Does anyone want a free puppy or two? Shipping should be cheap, in a box with no air holes or anything....

Not on my Salary

What is with politicians and prostitution rings? NY Governer Spitzer has been implicated in a prostitution bust involving "escorts" that are charging 5K . The details are a little vague, but it looks like Spitzer is joining the rank of lawmakers who have been tripped up by their little picadillos. It's almost reassuring that a Democrat was finally implicated in something -- I was beginning to worry that they weren't human, you know?

I mean, really. Five thousand dollars? Just what exactly to these women do? And what kind of job do we peons have to have in order to afford that sort of perk? (not that I want to hire an expensive hooker, but having the bank balance to pull it off might be nice)

I find it a little disengenuous for Republican lawmakers to be stating that he has to resign though, "immediately, now now now!" when their own party has its share of scandals that have not drawn the same recriminations. (Remember Vitter, anyone?). But, I hope he does the honorable thing and resigns immediately -- once again, it's not the act that I have such an issue with, but the hypocrisy of his publicly stated views and "mr Clean" warpath compared to his actual behavior. Can't clean up vice in the state if you're part of the problem, and how much arrogance does it take to try? Frankly. I consider hypocrisy worse than prostitution.

The private life of a politician is usually no one's business, but when it directly and obviously contradicts their publicly stated positions, well, it IS a big deal. If you want to set yourself up as a moral crusader for good and right...well, you'd better be walking the straight and narrows. Do these people simply think that no one will ever find out? Are they that oblivious?

It seems to be a huge karmic kick on the shorts that the people who are most righteous and vocal about how evil or bad something is....are usually the ones we discover later are neck deep in whatever vice they decry. If it wasn't so predictable and sad, it would be funny.

Devil Horse

I have not seen this yet, but a friend's blog posted pics and comments about the new "mascot"(?) for DIA....a horse statue on Pena Blvd. The photo is from his blog.

The eyes GLOW at night. GLOW.

Who thought this was a good idea? (she asks as she stifles laughter).

I have to go to the airport tomorrow to pick up my sister, and I'm SO looking for this!

More Weird Food

I'm on a weird-food binge this month, aren't I? It's a bit strange that I've had so many odd food blog entries, but they just show up in my inbox and I have to share.

For example, this:

You think canned pancakes or sausage-pancake dogs are bad? Try Chicken Fried Bacon.

Yes, you read that right. Battered, deep-fried BACON. With gravy.

The Adorable Husband remarked that they should have an ambulance in the parking lot at all times.

Spring Forward

Well, we might use less energy for lighting once daylight savings time kicks in (and it does tonight -- well, Sunday morning), but the idea that DST "saves energy" is a myth. Earlier this year, Congress changed the timing of daylight savings time, and almost immediately, reports started that there wasn't a decrease in energy usage (I blogged about here back in April).

But the kicker was a well-organized study in Indiana. Prior to 2006, each county in Indiana determined individually whether to "join" the Daylight Savings Time change. So, about half the state did, and half didn't. I have to imagine that this caused some issues with towns a few miles apart having different times; I wonder how they handled that...

Anyway, the study compared before-and-after costs for all the counties in Indiana -- those that ahd previously not had extended DST and those that did. The change in energy usage was UP, not down -- primarily because of heating and cooling costs, not lighting. If you're up earlier in the dark and in the cold, the heat kicks on earlier, and in summer when you want to be indoors in the "evening", it's still warm outside. Makes sense, in a a common-sense sort of way.

Their finding was clear: The switch to daylight saving time cost Indiana homeowners dearly on their electric bills.

"Just in the state of Indiana, it turns out to be almost seven million dollars a year in increased residential electricity bills," Kotchen said. "And that's at a far lower price for electricity than the national average."

The study found that daylight saving time did save on lighting use but that heating and air-conditioning use more than offset any gains.

Now, DST may have other benefits -- I know that I, for one, like to come home when it's light outside and have those long evenings for leisure. Longer daylight hours in the afternoon may be better for people's moods, I don't know. But it's no longer a money-saving opportunity.

Similar results were shown in Australia in 2000, when some of the states in Australia extended daylight savings time to accommodate the Olympic games -- again, savings were nil. University of WA researcher Hendrik Wolf found that:

"Basically if people wake up early in the morning and go to bed earlier, they do save artificial illumination at night and reduce electricity consumption in the evening," Wolff said.

"Our study confirmed that effect. But we also found that more electricity is consumed in the morning. In the end, these two effects wash each other out."

Well, Australia is probably not representative of the changes here, as the researchers are the first to admit, but the Indiana findings should at least suggest to the powers-that-be that we need to rethink the reason that we are shifting the clocks. The original reason for "summer time" was to take advantage of the long, well-lit evenings. The basis for the claims of energy savings come from a 1975 study that concluded that the US used about 1% less energy per day during the change. That study was contradicted by another done only a year later.

I think I see the problem. How many houses in 1975 had air-conditioning? That seems to be the primary cost effect now: cooling and heating costs, not lights. So the energy savings may well be evened out nationwide (I'm sure Arizona and Georgia use more air conditioning than Idaho and Maine in the summer, just as I'm sure that heating costs in northern Minnesota will be higher than those in the balmy south). But it is really necessary anymore? I still like the long summer evenings, and not being woken up at 4am is pretty nice: most people cite the summer nights as reason enough to continue the change. I'd have to agree with them.

Toddler Nighmares

This made me laugh. I'm obviously evil. What do you get when you turn a teddy bear inside out?

One more chink in the Constituion

Telephones, national IDs, now mail. Feeling safer?

This isn't new, but I certainly didn't know about it. Did you?

"President Bush quietly has claimPublish Posted sweeping new powers to open Americans' mail without a judge's warrant.

Bush asserted the new authority Dec. 20 after signing legislation that overhauls some postal regulations. He then issued a "signing statement" that declared his right to open mail under emergency conditions, contrary to existing law and contradicting the bill he had just signed, according to experts who have reviewed it."

Just Checking in

I was checking the blog and realizing that I've been posting pretty sporadically -- work has been extra-busy and I've got some hard deadlines coming up.

But, just to give you a smile -- This is apparently a full-grown chicken. It just made me giggle, so I thought I'd share.

In case you wanted to know...

Clear instructions on using a squat toilet.

I especially liked the instruction to "hum a little tune". Hee.

Move over, canned pancakes!

While we have been enjoying pancakes-from-a-can (they're quite good, really), someone dropped me a note that there are even weirder breakfast foods out there. Being a collector of "strange food" -- microwaveable pork-rinds, anyone? -- even I had to cringe a bit at this one.

There's nothing wrong with "breakfast corn dogs", I guess -- breakfast sausage wrapped in pancake batter seems like a pretty good idea. But chocolate chip pancakes? Blueberry? Ugh!

And my family used to make Chocolate Chip Pancakes occasionally; they're quite good. But with sausage?

They're from Jimmy Dean. Check out their other products, too! You could eat an entire breakfast either on-a-stick or from-a-can.

Not a Midwesterner in the bunch

She's does a fabulous job, but not a midwesterner. Hm.

Ninja Hamsters

If Dogs Could Talk

I didn't watch the Superbowl, so I missed most of the commercials, which are historically pretty good. This year? Not so much. But a few had me laughing like crazy.

Including this one: 'Talking to Animals'. I have no doubt that if dogs could really talk, this is what they would say.

Canned Pancakes

Well, this might be a sign of the coming collapse of society: pancakes and waffles from an aerosol can. Organic, even.

Seriously. About 9 full-sized pancakes, dispensed from a can like whipped cream. They're pretty good, actually, and definitely live up to the promise of "quick".

Of course, we probably don't need to have nearly instant pancakes, just sitting there in the refrigerator, waiting to be zooped out onto a hot griddle. I think we'll be having too many pancakes for the next week or so -- since we bought the stuff from Costco, and so have THREE cans o'pancake in there.

They certainly aren't as good as made-from-scratch batter (even made from mix batter), but they are light and have a nice buttery, yeasty taste to them. Tender, and not chewy at all (which is my primary complaint about Perkin's pancakes -- chewiness).

I'm not sure if this is meant to be marketed towards parents...I can't imagine that pancakes every morning is a good idea with small children, but talk about convenient. We certainly had fun with them!

Bacon!

For those of us who crave bacon on a regular basis (and especially during those monthly cycles where bacon and chocolate sound really good together) -- I submit for your enjoyment,
The Bacon Flowchart.

Thinning the Gene Pool

Literally.

Check out this example of Idiocy.