Yeah, I'm a Survivalist. NOT.

As everyone probably knows by now, I had a major freakout about a year and a half ago about being quarantined in my house and not being allowed to leave. No, it's not something I really worry about, but apparently I had a bad stretch where I just...obsessed.

But -- and you'll be happy to know this -- we would survive locked in my house for 378 days. Of course, that assumes we eat the dogs, I think.

Yum!

I don't know what is says about my culinary sophistication, but Bacon Wrapped Tater-Tots sounds awfully tasty.

I linked to the recipe, but it's pretty easy - wrap a tater tot in slightly pre-cooked bacon, and bake until crispy. Voila.

Well, It's OK in OK

A bill has been proposed in the OK legislature that tries to legislate religious "free speech". I'm all for free speech, I think all of us are, but this particular piece of legislation could be stepping a wee bit too far :

The bill requires public schools to guarantee students the right to express their religious viewpoints in a public forum, in class, in homework and in other ways without being penalized. If a student’s religious beliefs were in conflict with scientific theory, and the student chose to express those beliefs rather than explain the theory in response to an exam question, the student’s incorrect response would be deemed satisfactory, according to this bill. [op-ed in the Edmond Sun]

Now, I'm not entirely sure that the bill is designed for this purpose, but could easily be interpreted in this way (and given the specifically vague language, it is obvious that the writers are hoping for an equally vague enforcement. I actually support the idea that students should not be penalized for expressing their religious beliefs. School groups and organizations should not be banned from campus just because they are religious in nature. They shouldn't be given any special status, but they shouldn't be penalized either.

Expressing your faith, and having an open and honest discussion of it is fine. Up until the part where they could spout religious doctrine instead of reality. Chemistry, biology, physics, geology, and the hard sciences just don't have any relevance for religious faith. They deal in observable, empirical evidence. An answer that doesn't conform to this evidence is not valid. Period.

House Bill 2211 declares that students may "express their beliefs about religion in homework, artwork, and other written and oral assignments" without being penalized or rewarded as long as their viewpoint is on the otherwise permissible topic. Under the bill, the otherwise permissible topic is always decided by the school.

The text of the bill can be read here. Not only can it be construed to apply for test questions as noted, but it also is very clear that schools can pick and choose which religions they allow to have free speech and an open forum, and favor certain religious ideas in that forum.

This doesn't seem like a good idea for anyone, least of all the students in OK. The "religious views are just as valid as science views" idea is going to sabotage the chances of OK students to attend university outside out their own state, or seriously damage the job opportunities for those people who graduate with this sort of nonsense in place.

The danger? Well, who defines which religions are acceptable? They don't agree on everything, so whose answer is allowed? Whose opinion is going to get the support of faculty for the valedictorian speech?

Another blogger posted the following as a hypothetical answer to just about anything:

I am a last-Thursdayist.

When was America discovered? It was never discovered, because the world was created last thrusday, and it was already discovered. it was created in a state of discoveredness.

What is 1+1? According to Last Thursdayism, mathematics cannot be counted upon as being reliable, because date calculations do not give accurate results. Until it is determined if this is due to a problem with the concept of mathematics in general or just date calculations, no part of mathematics can be viewed as accurate, leading us to the conclusion that the answer may be any number.

Would this be acceptable? It's just as logical and rational as many other religious expressions. Would this be considered a valid answer to anything? Sure, the Thursdayist blogger could stand out in the quad and talk about his beliefs, could form a new student group for Thursdayism and hold meetings in the library -- but how well is this sort of thing going to be tolerated in the history classroom or the mathematics class when he stands up to dispute the dates for Columbus or the signing of the Declaration of Independence? Under what criteria are the school administrators going to decide what is and what is not ok to express? And if they disallow Last Thursdayism or FSM-ism, or Satanism or any of the other non-standard religions...how is that ensuring free speech for religious beliefsPublish Post?

It's only free speech for approved religious beliefs. Which means that the intent is not free speech at all.

Try again.

Really? I mean, really?

This might be the saddest (and yet, most hilarious thing) I've read in a while.

I seriously thought this was satire when someone sent me the link. As far as I can tell, it's quite serious. Yes, folks, the earth is motionless in the universe, and this disproves evolution and all sorts of "science". Really. And teaching evolution has a religious agenda and as such is illegal in schools. Well, that's a novel approach, I guess. They really ought to regulate this guy's meds a little better.

Uh-huh.

And it gets better - this site is linked in to anti-evolution materials in a memo sent out by Texas state representative Warren Chisum, the Republican chair of the Texas state House Appropriations Committee. He liked what he read, and deemed it important enough to copy the memo and distribute it to every member of the Texas state House of Representatives. He later claimed that he hadn't "vetted the material". Oh, ya THINK?

I cannot believe that anyone is this stupid. The Earth is fixed? I mean, really?

The Pursuit of Perfection

Can you imagine the excitement of the first round of computer programmers in the 40s? How they realized that they could do things with the computer that would change the world? Programming one of the new Zuse or ENIAC machines to run calculations that were finished in a fraction of the time of human mathematicians, expanding that programming to make decisions, track information. It must have been a heady time for those scientists.

As computer programming got more complex (early versions of the ENIAC were reprogrammed"by actually re-wiring) , it also became abundantly clear that this new "programming" thing was going to open up vistas of opportunity.

We might be working in an object-oriented word, writing java code and perl and ASP and .net now, and making computers do things that these early pioneers couldn't even conceive of. But there are some things that we still struggle with:

"As soon as we started programming, we found out to our surprise that it wasn't as easy to get programs right as we had thought. Debugging had to be discovered. I can remember the exact instant when I realized that a large part of my life from then on was going to be spent in finding mistakes in my own programs."
-Maurice Wilkes, 1949

The more things change, the more they stay the same.

Panoramas

Well, you'll either find this very, very cool, or it will freak you out to no end.

A few months ago, we saw a car driving around with cameras mounted to the roof and hood, and commented that they must either be making maps, testing GPS, or something similar. We were right!

Google has offered aerial view of most maps in the last few years (and if you've ever used Google Earth to find things, you are familiar with the satellite images), but now, if you enter in an address, many of them display with a thumbnail picture offering 'street view' images.

Click on the link, and you're in an interactive, 360 degree photo image of the actual street -- you can actually take a virtual tour of the neighborhood. Our house is in full bloom, so we assume they were here last summer; the half-painted pictures of our old house are from about the same date. Not every address is covered, of course, but I checked a few for friends and family, and lo and behold! Full color, panoramic pictures of my house and my neighbors. I think it's pretty cool, actually.

Try it here: Google Maps. Type in a full address, and see if you're covered.

How Far We've Come

I have no idea who did this (it showed up awhile ago on one of the photo sites that I browse), but it's a stunning tour-de-force of illustration, if you ask me.

Humanity Through the Ages (not terribly child-friendly, despite being cartoon drawings).

Sex, War, more sex and more war, and changing fashion, then technology and bombs. A rather succint summary of history. Love it!

Holy Crap!

Well, this is a new one. A man came home to find his house being ransacked by people waving a fake Craigslist page that said all his stuff was FREE for the taking. Even though he caught some people in the act, they refused to return his stuff -- some even argued that if it was in print on the internet, that made it legal for them to take things!

The ads popped up Saturday afternoon, saying the owner of a Jacksonville home was forced to leave the area suddenly and his belongings, including a horse, were free for the taking, said Jackson County sheriff's Detective Sgt. Colin Fagan.

But Robert Salisbury had no plans to leave. The independent contractor was at Emigrant Lake when he got a call from a woman who had stopped by his house to claim his horse.

On his way home he stopped a truck loaded down with his work ladders, lawn mower and weed eater.

"I informed them I was the owner, but they refused to give the stuff back," Salisbury said. "They showed me the Craigslist printout and told me they had the right to do what they did."

The fake ad was apparently placed by a disgruntled tenant, but c'mon people! What on earth makes you think that because a page on the internet says so, you can ransack someone's house while they are standing there telling you no. What sort of person actually tries to argue about that?

Even if the sign says "FREE", if the person there tells you that the offer is rescinded, you go your merry way, you don't argue that you're allowed to steal their stuff just becuase you have a printout!

This isn't the first time it's happened, either. At least this time, the owner was lucky enough that some honest soul had the decency to think, "hey, this seems too good to be true!" and called him.
I want to believe that people are basically honest, good people. That given the opportunity to steal or hurt someone, that they will not take the bait. But obviously, there are people out there who don't have any compunction about doing either one, if they think they have permission to do so (a print out, or someone else telling them they can do something) and if they think they aren't going to get caught. That really sucks.

Expelled!

There's a new "documentary" making the rounds called "Expelled", which is basically how all those mean old evolutionists (who are responsible for Hitler, BTW) are keeping kids from being taught the real truth about "intelligent design". P. Z. Myers, a biology professor and fierce critic of ID on his Pharyngula blog, went to a screening at the Mall of America.

It was a private screening; viewers had to sign up beforehand. Myers, who is featured in the movie, and the rest of his party signed in under their own names and were in line when a security guard came up to him and pulled him out of line. Apparently the producer of the film, who was also there, didn't want Myers to see the movie and write about it. Myers, bemused, agreed to leave, as it was a private showing and the producer was within his rights to ask him to leave. The producer obviously felt it wasn't a good thing to have one of those red-fanged atheist evolutionist types watching his movie.

Here's Myers' report of the incident.

The funny part: they apparently didn't notice Myers' guest - a fellow named...

wait for it...

...Richard Dawkins.

How absolutely brilliant. I'm still laughing.

New Glasses

Well, I have a new pair of "backup glasses", while I wait for my regular glasses next week. Since I sit in front of a computer screen every day, I absolutely demand that 'invisibles' non-glare coating on glasses and they have to send out the glasses for the coating. (Seriously, if you don't have this coating on your lenses and you either use a computer all day long or work in an office with overhead lights, you need to try them.)

So the "backup glasses" are the same frames as the other pair, but I just got the basic lenses (and they still cost a mint!)...and I'm sitting at my computer and seeing the reflection of my own eyes in the glasses. It's making me nuts! It's so distracting that I have a hard time concentrating and after having the non-glare type for so long, I can't stand them. Luckily, I should have my "real" glasses in a few days.

But the kicker in all of this? I was told quite cheerily by the 12-year-old optometrist (ok, not really, but he looked 12) told me "Good news, you don't need bifocals yet. Most women your age are getting close to bifocals...." at which point, he trailed off with embarassment as I glared at him. Women my age? Gah. Don't remind me.

Free to Good Home!

BAD, BAD puppies. I know it's a phase. They're 10 months old, every puppy goes through the Super-Destructo-Godzilla-Eats-Manhattan stage, I know this. But my patience is wearing very, very thin.

In the last two weeks, the puppies have:

1. Pulled up most of the drip system hose in the backyard and eaten it
2. Eaten chunks of the 100' garden hose in the backyard. Six or eight times. It is now a 30' garden hose
3. Eaten a 1 foot deep hole in the yard. Yes, EATEN a hole. They are not digging, they are eating their way to China.
   
4. Destroyed a library book.
   
5. Destroyed one of my books -- down to little soggy shreds
6. Disemboweled a recliner
7. Eaten at least 5 mechanical pencils, a highlighter, and Sharpie
8. Chewed a chunk off my good leather briefcase
9. Ate the cover off my electronic book reader (but did not eat the reader itself, or they would be EX-puppies)
   
10. Chewed up MY GLASSES.

Tonight they rampaged behind my desk, but did not eat the books. They get points for that. Not many points, but it is an improvement. I spend several hours today getting replacement glasses, though. I'm still pissed over that one.

They are loose in the house every night. This is not when they wreak havok. Oh, no, it's only when we leave them unattended during the daym even for a moment. Each of the above acts was committed when they were either a) alone outside for an hour or b) alone inside for less than one hour.

I'm having visions of a shock-collar set to De-Fur.

It's only a phase. Only a phase. I need to keep repeating this until they hit 2 years old, aren't I?

BAD puppies

We were gone for about 90 minutes. Maybe less. The puppies have been so good, we felt pretty confident leaving them loose in the house while we went to grab food.

They ATE the CHAIR.

The CHAIR. Pulled the foam and stuffing out and shredded it all over the living room. (I was too pissed off to takes pictures, which, in a few months, may be funny to me. Sorry!) They totally evicerated the back of the recliner.


It was the ratty green recliner we've had for fifteen years. We were looking to replace it anyway. But they ATE the CHAIR!

Does anyone want a free puppy or two? Shipping should be cheap, in a box with no air holes or anything....

Not on my Salary

What is with politicians and prostitution rings? NY Governer Spitzer has been implicated in a prostitution bust involving "escorts" that are charging 5K . The details are a little vague, but it looks like Spitzer is joining the rank of lawmakers who have been tripped up by their little picadillos. It's almost reassuring that a Democrat was finally implicated in something -- I was beginning to worry that they weren't human, you know?

I mean, really. Five thousand dollars? Just what exactly to these women do? And what kind of job do we peons have to have in order to afford that sort of perk? (not that I want to hire an expensive hooker, but having the bank balance to pull it off might be nice)

I find it a little disengenuous for Republican lawmakers to be stating that he has to resign though, "immediately, now now now!" when their own party has its share of scandals that have not drawn the same recriminations. (Remember Vitter, anyone?). But, I hope he does the honorable thing and resigns immediately -- once again, it's not the act that I have such an issue with, but the hypocrisy of his publicly stated views and "mr Clean" warpath compared to his actual behavior. Can't clean up vice in the state if you're part of the problem, and how much arrogance does it take to try? Frankly. I consider hypocrisy worse than prostitution.

The private life of a politician is usually no one's business, but when it directly and obviously contradicts their publicly stated positions, well, it IS a big deal. If you want to set yourself up as a moral crusader for good and right...well, you'd better be walking the straight and narrows. Do these people simply think that no one will ever find out? Are they that oblivious?

It seems to be a huge karmic kick on the shorts that the people who are most righteous and vocal about how evil or bad something is....are usually the ones we discover later are neck deep in whatever vice they decry. If it wasn't so predictable and sad, it would be funny.

Devil Horse

I have not seen this yet, but a friend's blog posted pics and comments about the new "mascot"(?) for DIA....a horse statue on Pena Blvd. The photo is from his blog.

The eyes GLOW at night. GLOW.

Who thought this was a good idea? (she asks as she stifles laughter).

I have to go to the airport tomorrow to pick up my sister, and I'm SO looking for this!

More Weird Food

I'm on a weird-food binge this month, aren't I? It's a bit strange that I've had so many odd food blog entries, but they just show up in my inbox and I have to share.

For example, this:

You think canned pancakes or sausage-pancake dogs are bad? Try Chicken Fried Bacon.

Yes, you read that right. Battered, deep-fried BACON. With gravy.

The Adorable Husband remarked that they should have an ambulance in the parking lot at all times.

Spring Forward

Well, we might use less energy for lighting once daylight savings time kicks in (and it does tonight -- well, Sunday morning), but the idea that DST "saves energy" is a myth. Earlier this year, Congress changed the timing of daylight savings time, and almost immediately, reports started that there wasn't a decrease in energy usage (I blogged about here back in April).

But the kicker was a well-organized study in Indiana. Prior to 2006, each county in Indiana determined individually whether to "join" the Daylight Savings Time change. So, about half the state did, and half didn't. I have to imagine that this caused some issues with towns a few miles apart having different times; I wonder how they handled that...

Anyway, the study compared before-and-after costs for all the counties in Indiana -- those that ahd previously not had extended DST and those that did. The change in energy usage was UP, not down -- primarily because of heating and cooling costs, not lighting. If you're up earlier in the dark and in the cold, the heat kicks on earlier, and in summer when you want to be indoors in the "evening", it's still warm outside. Makes sense, in a a common-sense sort of way.

Their finding was clear: The switch to daylight saving time cost Indiana homeowners dearly on their electric bills.

"Just in the state of Indiana, it turns out to be almost seven million dollars a year in increased residential electricity bills," Kotchen said. "And that's at a far lower price for electricity than the national average."

The study found that daylight saving time did save on lighting use but that heating and air-conditioning use more than offset any gains.

Now, DST may have other benefits -- I know that I, for one, like to come home when it's light outside and have those long evenings for leisure. Longer daylight hours in the afternoon may be better for people's moods, I don't know. But it's no longer a money-saving opportunity.

Similar results were shown in Australia in 2000, when some of the states in Australia extended daylight savings time to accommodate the Olympic games -- again, savings were nil. University of WA researcher Hendrik Wolf found that:

"Basically if people wake up early in the morning and go to bed earlier, they do save artificial illumination at night and reduce electricity consumption in the evening," Wolff said.

"Our study confirmed that effect. But we also found that more electricity is consumed in the morning. In the end, these two effects wash each other out."

Well, Australia is probably not representative of the changes here, as the researchers are the first to admit, but the Indiana findings should at least suggest to the powers-that-be that we need to rethink the reason that we are shifting the clocks. The original reason for "summer time" was to take advantage of the long, well-lit evenings. The basis for the claims of energy savings come from a 1975 study that concluded that the US used about 1% less energy per day during the change. That study was contradicted by another done only a year later.

I think I see the problem. How many houses in 1975 had air-conditioning? That seems to be the primary cost effect now: cooling and heating costs, not lights. So the energy savings may well be evened out nationwide (I'm sure Arizona and Georgia use more air conditioning than Idaho and Maine in the summer, just as I'm sure that heating costs in northern Minnesota will be higher than those in the balmy south). But it is really necessary anymore? I still like the long summer evenings, and not being woken up at 4am is pretty nice: most people cite the summer nights as reason enough to continue the change. I'd have to agree with them.

Toddler Nighmares

This made me laugh. I'm obviously evil. What do you get when you turn a teddy bear inside out?

One more chink in the Constituion

Telephones, national IDs, now mail. Feeling safer?

This isn't new, but I certainly didn't know about it. Did you?

"President Bush quietly has claimPublish Posted sweeping new powers to open Americans' mail without a judge's warrant.

Bush asserted the new authority Dec. 20 after signing legislation that overhauls some postal regulations. He then issued a "signing statement" that declared his right to open mail under emergency conditions, contrary to existing law and contradicting the bill he had just signed, according to experts who have reviewed it."

Just Checking in

I was checking the blog and realizing that I've been posting pretty sporadically -- work has been extra-busy and I've got some hard deadlines coming up.

But, just to give you a smile -- This is apparently a full-grown chicken. It just made me giggle, so I thought I'd share.

In case you wanted to know...

Clear instructions on using a squat toilet.

I especially liked the instruction to "hum a little tune". Hee.

Move over, canned pancakes!

While we have been enjoying pancakes-from-a-can (they're quite good, really), someone dropped me a note that there are even weirder breakfast foods out there. Being a collector of "strange food" -- microwaveable pork-rinds, anyone? -- even I had to cringe a bit at this one.

There's nothing wrong with "breakfast corn dogs", I guess -- breakfast sausage wrapped in pancake batter seems like a pretty good idea. But chocolate chip pancakes? Blueberry? Ugh!

And my family used to make Chocolate Chip Pancakes occasionally; they're quite good. But with sausage?

They're from Jimmy Dean. Check out their other products, too! You could eat an entire breakfast either on-a-stick or from-a-can.

Not a Midwesterner in the bunch

She's does a fabulous job, but not a midwesterner. Hm.

Ninja Hamsters

If Dogs Could Talk

I didn't watch the Superbowl, so I missed most of the commercials, which are historically pretty good. This year? Not so much. But a few had me laughing like crazy.

Including this one: 'Talking to Animals'. I have no doubt that if dogs could really talk, this is what they would say.

Canned Pancakes

Well, this might be a sign of the coming collapse of society: pancakes and waffles from an aerosol can. Organic, even.

Seriously. About 9 full-sized pancakes, dispensed from a can like whipped cream. They're pretty good, actually, and definitely live up to the promise of "quick".

Of course, we probably don't need to have nearly instant pancakes, just sitting there in the refrigerator, waiting to be zooped out onto a hot griddle. I think we'll be having too many pancakes for the next week or so -- since we bought the stuff from Costco, and so have THREE cans o'pancake in there.

They certainly aren't as good as made-from-scratch batter (even made from mix batter), but they are light and have a nice buttery, yeasty taste to them. Tender, and not chewy at all (which is my primary complaint about Perkin's pancakes -- chewiness).

I'm not sure if this is meant to be marketed towards parents...I can't imagine that pancakes every morning is a good idea with small children, but talk about convenient. We certainly had fun with them!

Bacon!

For those of us who crave bacon on a regular basis (and especially during those monthly cycles where bacon and chocolate sound really good together) -- I submit for your enjoyment,
The Bacon Flowchart.

Thinning the Gene Pool

Literally.

Check out this example of Idiocy.

What the f-- is wrong with these people?

A proposed Pennsylvania bill: Allow doctors to deny treatment, medicine on religious grounds

Pennsylvania Senate Bill 1255, also called the Conscientious Objection Act, would absolve medical care providers of liability in cases where reproductive care was denied based on a practitioner's religious or moral beliefs.

Services a provider would be free to withhold, with immunity, include performing an abortion, artificial insemination, and prescribing birth control or emergency contraception (also known as the "morning-after pill").

"There shall be no cause of action against a health care provider for declining to participate in a health care service that violates his or her conscience," the bill reads. "A health care institution that declines to provide or participate in a health care service that violates its conscience," it adds, "shall not be civilly, criminally or administratively liable."

"I intend with this bill," says Senator John Eichelberger (R-Altoona) to the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review, "to make it very clear that people in health care and in medical institutions would be held harmless if they for religious reasons decide not to provide procedures for abortion or contraception."

What the fuck? If you refuse to perform the required, legal job, you shouldn't be a doctor or pharmacist or what have you. How hard is that for these idiots to comprehend? What next? Refusing to provide required medical care because the person is Muslim or Catholic? Or they belong to the wrong golf club? Or they are the wrong color? The criteria here are just as arbitrary, and I, for one, am horrified a the implications. Apparently there are a lot of people out there who have no problem at all insisting that their personal beliefs be legislated for everyone.

Just fine and dandy, you think? Wait until the personal beliefs don't happen to coincide with yours. Keep your private, personal religious beliefs out of the public sphere, mmmkay?

What is wrong with these people?

Huh?

This morning on NBC’s Today Show, President Bush denied that the there’s any link between the faltering U.S. economy and $10 billion a month being spent on the Iraq war. In fact, according to Bush, the war is actually helping the economy:

CURRY: You don’t agree with that? It has nothing do with the economy, the war — spending on the war?

BUSH: I don’t think so. I think actually the spending in the war might help with jobs…because we’re buying equipment, and people are working. I think this economy is down because we built too many houses and the economy’s adjusting. ...

Crab Cakes!

And a four-pound brownie. We went to dinner with our neighbors again -- the Oceanaire, since my sister gave us a gift-certificate for Christmas. She's the best at picking gifts: I mentioned months ago that we had been to the restaurant to my other sister, who mentioned it in passing, and J remembered it -- from back in September. Wow.

Mmm. The best crab-cakes I have ever had. Absolutely.

This whole week has been one fabulous meal after another -- Wednesday, one of the tech reps at the cath lab took everyone out to Sugarbeet, in Longmont, to demo a new product. Valentine's Day, we stayed in and grilled filets, made our so-not-good-for-you Fettuccine Alfredo and drank a top-ranked bottle of wine from Mollydooker, and Friday out to the Oceanaire for crab cakes that are out of this world good... We are spoiled, I tell you what!

Cute Puppy Pictures

Communiques

I'm sure everyone has seen this, but it made me giggle:

The Dog's Diary 8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing! 9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing! 9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing! 10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing! 12:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing! 1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing! 3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing! 5:00 pm - Dinner! My favorite thing! 7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing! 8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing! 11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

The Cat's Diary

Day 983 of my captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe ----- for now

No Wonder!

Well, we all knew it -- 96% of the email sent last year was spam. If you're like me, you get one or two actual emails accompanied by pages and pages of ads, offers, and other crap that seems to overwhelm everything. Even with good spam filters, dozens of these make it through every day.

Can you imagine how much better things would perform if there wasn't 96 spam messages for every four valid emails? When they need just one person to respond to the spam to "pay" for the millions of messages they send, well, it ain't gonna go away anytime soon.

So, the Economist has quantified it:

LAST year, spam accounted for up to 96% of all e-mail traffic, according to Commtouch, a security-software company. Undeterred by tough legislation and better security, spammers use increasingly sophisticated methods to evade filters and fool increasingly savvy internet users. But the nature of spam remains pretty basic. In the last three months of 2007, 70% of e-mails offered sexual enhancers,

Well, that certainly describes my inbox. Viagra, Cialias, less-than-savory offers for things that will enlarge or enhance a part of the anatomy that I don't have...

Only about 1% are pornography, and about 5% are fake financial scams. I don't know if this includes the "phishing" emails -- I have to assume it does, since those are the most common financial emails out there. I knew it was bad, but I didn't realize that almost 70% of ALL EMAIL traversing the internet was for 'sexual enhancers'. Well, we know what's important, now, don't we?

Jumbotron

Well, I have a new tiny-little sorry-assed first-world problem: my new monitor is SO BIG that I have to turn my head to see the corners.

I have a cramp.

Of course, I'm having a hard time finding anyone to really pity me much for this awful and nearly insurmountable problem. Woe is me.


My company paid out their stock options last week, and we allotted a smidgen of it for "fun money" -- my immediate purchase was an absolutely glorious 30" Samsung monitor. It's bigger than the TV! It's HUUUUGE. The monitor on the left is 20" and it's puny, bwaahahaha!

The Adorable Husband had to build an extension shelf onto the back of my desk, so I could push it far enough back that it wasn't like sitting in the front row of a movie. I moved my old monitor over to be my work monitor (yes, I have two computers on my desk, one for work and one for non-work. The last time I installed work stuff on my own desktop, it took weeks to clean up the resulting mess. )

I think I may have regained some of my geek points.

Queen of the World

Since I've been pretty lax in posting anything to the blog (it's been really busy at work), I thought I'd share with you all this photo of a blissfully sleeping puppy.

Obviously, Berit is a nervous dog, unsure of her place in the world....

7000-year-old Egyptian City

A team of US archaeologists has discovered the ruins of a city dating back to the period of the first farmers 7,000 years ago in Egypt's Fayyum oasis, the supreme council of antiquities said on Tuesday.

"An electromagnetic survey revealed the existence in the Karanis region of a network of walls and roads similar to those constructed during the Greco-Roman period," the council's chief Zahi Hawwas said.

The remnants of the city are "still buried beneath the sand and the details of this discovery will be revealed in due course," Hawwas said.

"The artefacts consist of the remains of walls and houses in terracotta or dressed limestone as well as a large quantity of pottery and the foundations of ovens and grain stores," he added.

The remains date back to the Neolithic period between 5,200 and 4,500 BC.

The local director of antiquities, Ahmed Abdel Alim, said the site was just seven kilometres (four miles) from Fayyum lake and would probably have lain at the water's edge at the time it was inhabited. [Yahoo news]

Almost Smarter than an 8th Grader

I'm...almost smarter than an 8th grader. It's been a long time since I thought about some of those questions.

See? I knew that inportant stuff was getting pushed off the stack.

And...

79%

The Smell of Books

Erie has a new Library! Finally, after 17 years of supposedly being served by a Bookmobile that actually showed up a total of five times, our new Community Center and new Library opened last weekend. It's lovely. Only about half-full right now, but I'm so excited!

So I head off last night to get a library card and wander around the new library...

Wait, a bit of background here. For anyone who knows me, the fact is that I am a well known Liberator of Library Books. I don't mean to be, I mean I try to return things promptly, but when it comes to books I tend to forget that just because the book is in my house, doesn't mean it belongs to me. Many overdue notices and letters for lost books show up at the Phouka household. I'm really good for a while, then I lapse. I do my penance (pay fines) and return, only to lapse again. It's been quite awhile since I had a library to go to, though.

But back to my saga. I approach the shiny new circulation desk and produce my driver's license and a printed check (for a second form of identification) to the nice librarian and she stands there for a moment staring at the names.

"Phouka....Phouka....I know that name!"

The klaxons go off in my head, and a sharp pang of terror weakens my knees. OMIGOD! They KNOW! The aren't going to give me a library card! They KNOW I'm a book thief! AAARGH!

"You donated a lot to the Children's Library."

My relief was so great I nearly swooned.

Moments later, shiny new library card in hand, I skipped off into the new library and wandered among the stacks and the new book smell.

With the best intentions to be a good library patron, of course. Really!

Sugar Crash

So my sister has had a pretty bad week. Her son is very sick with flu (high fever, barfing, the works) and her house has chosen this week to decide that heat is optional, as is hot water. Those two are easy enough to fix, but a sick kid doesn't eat much, doesn't drink much, and as a result...doesn't poo.

Well, you think, not so worrisome as all that. It happens. But four or five days and my sister is getting a bit freaked out. He's having abdominal pain, and is cranky as all get out. Floundering around for a means to solve this problem, she alights on the fact that corn syrup actually has laxative effects.

Right! Corn Syrup! Which she then fed to her son in just about every concoction she could think of. Mixed into Gatorade, poured over cereal, over fruit, teaspoons of it plain. I'm sure if the poor kid had felt any better, he'd have been sure he'd hit the jackpot! Sugar! On Everything! W00t!

It worked, of course; but I can only imagine the Serious Sugar Crazies in the household (for a kid who is already on the high end of active) and then the absolute, utter, dead-to-the-world Sugar Crash that happened later.

I'm sure he fell asleep in mid-word a bit later that night. Possibly in mid-step, falling to the floor in a drooling, snoring heap.

Heh.

Addendum

OK, I admit, I spent a bit of time poking around the AiG site. Whoo-boy, is there a lot of ...um...interseting conjecture there. But it was this item in their "Statement of Faith" that made me laugh like a hyena:

No apparent, perceived or claimed evidence in any field, including history and chronology, can be valid if it contradicts the Scriptural record.

Well, of course not! If you require that your worldview is absolutely correct, you simply refuse to see any contradictory evidence. Doesn't exist.

No, not doesn't, can't exist. Because actual empirical evidence, based on observation of the real word, will demolish your baseless assertions. No, can't have that. Better just to blindly stick to doctrine

What a complete crock of shit.

Science? Really?

Ok, this just made me laugh, then sort of shake my head with bemused horror. AiG -- Answers in Genesis, a very populate creationist/ID website, has decided that it will host - -get this -- peer reviewed papers, so that it can be all scienc-y and stuff, ya know?

[...] Answers Research Journal will provide scientists and students the results of cutting-edge research that demonstrates the validity of the young-earth model, the global Flood, the non-evolutionary origin of “created kinds,” and other evidences that are consistent with the biblical account of origins.

I've posted a couple of comment earlier on the ridiculous claim that ID is "scientific", but I just had to post their guidelines for paper review as a concrete evidence that they really have no idea how science actually works. I'm not really aware of any other "scientific journal" that pre-defines the evidences that they are going to accept. But that's only the tip of the iceberg.

VIII. Paper Review Process
Upon the reception of a paper the editor-in-chief will follow the procedures below:
A. Receive and acknowledge to the author the paper’s receipt.
B. Review the paper for possible inclusion into the ARJ review process.
The following criteria will be used in judging papers:
1. Is the paper’s topic important to the development of the Creation and Flood model?
2. Does the paper’s topic prvoide an original contribution to the Creation and Flood model?
3. Is this paper formulated within a young-earth, young-universe framework?
4. If the paper discusses claimed evidence for an old earth and/or universe, does this paper offer a very
constructively positive criticism and provide a possible young-earth, young-universe alternative?
5. If the paper is polemical in nature, does it deal with a topic rarely discussed within the origins
debate?
6. Does this paper provide evidence of faithfulness to the grammatical-historical/normative interpretation of Scripture? If necessary, refer to: R. E. Walsh, 1986. Biblical hermeneutics and creation. Proceedings First International Conference on Creationism, vol. 1, pp. 121–127. Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania: Creation Science Fellowship.

What does this mean, exactly?

1. While this assumes that there is a valid creation and flood model, we might even grant this one as acceptable, since they are an ID-based organization. I don't expect a journal devoted to ornithology to entertain papers on the development of fish, for example.
2. see 1, and has this actually changed in the last 3000 years?
3. "does this paper already presuppose that we are right?"
4. "if the paper actually includes actual physical, observable evidence, does this paper dismiss/explain these facts if they do not support the creationism/ID model?
5. "does this paper assign special privilege to conformity to a doctrine over and above correlation to observational reality'

So, basically, "Make your papers conform to doctrine and we'll peer-review them. If they don't, well, tough noogies. We're only interested in apologetics." Great science, there. Basically, adherence to Scripture is of primary importance, not "science".

And then, the best of all: they won't even consider your paper if it CONFLICTS with doctrine.

Remark:
The editor-in-chief will not be afraid to reject a paper if it does not properly satisfy the above criteria or it conflicts with the best interests of AiG as judged by its biblical stand and goals outlined in its statement of faith. [emphasis mine]

Just as a quick comparison, here are the author guidelines from Science/AAAS. No presupposition on topic, or dire warnings that they must conform to specific doctrine. Imagine that.

This quote, from a creationist/ID proponent online (not a scientist, as far as I can tell, just a staunch fundamentalist Christian who is a Biblical Literalist) seems to sum up why I have little tolerance for people who argue that ID is "science" and that what they are doing is "scientific":

"The proper approach to any truth search is to select the most plausible Fundamental Assumptions first. I call this a Worldview. The Theistic Worldview is far more consistent with the evidence ... I have presented much of this evidence previously. After the most plausible worldview is selected, then and only then can one set about evaluating data."

oooookay. No. This is not scientific investigation. This is (with the unfounded assertions and a priori arguments intact) almost the exact opposite. "I have the answer, let's find the evidence to support it" is not the way things work. It's supposed to be "ooh, that's weird. I wonder what that piece of data signifies".

Maybe....

This made me laugh so hard I nearly peed myself.

Who Needs Congress?

If Congress doesn't reauthorize No Child Left Behind, Bush intends to make as many changes as he can "on his own" through administrative or executive order means.

"And so now is the time for Congress to reauthorize it. I'm sure a lot of people look around the country and say it's impossible for Congress and the President to work together. I strongly disagree. We worked together to get the bill written in the first place, and I believe we can work together to get it reauthorized. If it's not reauthorized, then I've instructed our Secretary to move forward on some reforms or to analyze reforms that she can do through the administrative process. If Congress passes a bill that weakens the accountability system in the No Child Left Behind Act, I will strongly oppose it and veto it, because the act will continue on -- in other words, this act isn't expiring, it just needs to be reauthorized."

Congress? Who needs Congress? Certainly not the king.

Dental Surgery

While we were in MN, the filling that the Adorable Husband had done on the 20th started to act up. Within a few days, it was so excruciatingly painful that he was barely making it from one dose of tylenol to the next.

An emergency visit to a dentist in MN confirmed that there was a serious problem, although they told him he could manage for another day or so to have his dentist at home handle it (they thought it was a bad filling) and sent him on his way.

It turns out that the problem is a bit more serious than a bad filling, though, and requires extraction of his wisdom tooth. He's not happy. He's got a full set of wisdom teeth which haven't had any problems until now, but htey are so far back in his mouth that they are hard to fill and so a cavity in one of them is a serious problem. He goes in Monday to have it done. They're actually going to take both wisdom teeth on the right side. I'm stocking up on mashed potatoes and soup for him.

Of course, the first oral surgeon he called told him that they could see in in February. Now, I have no problem with them not having an appointment, but I still boggle that they thought a reasonable response to a request for an emergency appointment was to try to schedule something in six weeks. Um, no. Perhaps, "sorry, we're entirely booked for weeks and weeks and here's a list of other surgeons we recommend!"

Stoned Puppies

So, we left our bags in the hallway upon returning home yesterday and the Adorable Husband left the outer pocket of his unzipped...which predictable results: the puppy weasels rifled through the bags and had a grand old time.

Normally, not a huge problem. Except this time, there was a full bottle of aspirin in the pocket. I heard them crunch on the bottle, and made it out into the living room in time to see the contents spread all over the living room...we have no idea if they ate any of the actual pills or not. Most of the aspirin were wet, but the bottle was mostly full when I scooped everything up.

Off to the emergency vet, tuit suit, after a rather frantic call to our vet. Aspirin can be seriously toxic to dogs, so they sedated the weasels (after coming out to tell us, "oh, they are active, aren't they?) and pumped them full of charcoal. We honestly don't think they ate more than one or two aspirin, but better safe than sorry.

They seem to be fine. Of course, it's awfully fun to have puppies that are so stoned you can sort of pile them up and bend them like gumby dolls. We had to carry them in from the car, and once we got them on the dog beds, they didn't move at all for six hours. Rowan just wanted to lay down and stare at the corner.

We were wondering if we could have more sedative...they are quite cuddly and sweet when they are high as kites!

Catching Up!

The holidays are over -- and were a relatively quiet, easygoing few weeks here at Chez Phouka. The Adorable Husband spent Christmas Day at work, but the rest of the time was spent with the new, spiffy computers. And, of course, back to MN for New Years where we got to see everyone and have lovely dinners and enjoy the too-cold weather.

I'll be back.

Irony Meter Alert

"My hope, of course, is that Russia is a country which understands there needs to be checks and balances, and free and fair elections, and a vibrant press," Bush said.

Xmas Party

Today was our Most Fabulous Company Christmas Party -- the format of which has not really changed in the ten years I've been with the company, on threat of mass mutiny by the employees.

Dinner, gambling, bidding. It's a great party: first we have a great dinner (catered this year with much success), then we have a gambling company set up blackjack tables, poker tables, and a craps table -- and we gamble with "fake" money handed out by the boss, and finally there is an auction to buy all the neat techie gifts that the boss buys for us. We spend the time catching up with everyone that we don't see except once or twice a year, and it's really a blast.

This year, we were supposed to bring slippers (new floors at the bosses house!) and I got a big laugh out of my Vorpal Bunny Slippers. Of course, I could only wear them for about four minutes, since my feet got so hot and sweaty.

Seriously. The best christmas party -- it's perfect for hypercompetitive over-achievers, I always say.

We didn't do so well gambling this year. I really need to learn how to play poker, that table was winning like crazy. Still, not too bad: The Adorable Husband got a new backup drive for his computer, and I got one of those digital frames. We all ate too many cookies, too.

Danger! Avoid Death!

The Wacky Warning Label contest every year is always good for a few chuckles, and this year is no exception.

I laughed out loud at the graphics on this sign from a tractor -- "Avoid Death!". That poor little stick figure is in for a bad day, I think.

Other winners

• an iron-on T-shirt transfer that warns: "Do not iron while wearing shirt."
• a label on a baby-stroller featuring a small storage pouch that warns, "Do not put child in bag."
• a letter opener that says: "Caution: Safety goggles recommended."

I can only imagine what sort of incident prompted the creation of those labels....Ha!

Democracy, anyone?

BBC: "The US House of Representatives has approved a bill that would ban the CIA from using harsh interrogation techniques such as simulated drowning.

The measure would require intelligence agencies to follow the rules adopted by the US Army, which forbid such methods, and to abide by the Geneva Conventions.

President George Bush has threatened to veto the bill if the Senate passes it."

Translation: Bush will veto a bill that requires him to obey the law.

How's that War on Christmas going?

A couple of thugs, one tattooed with pictures of Jesus, beat up a guy on a subway train in New York because he wished them a Happy Hanukkah when they offered a greeting of Merry Christmas.

It all began when Adler, his girlfriend, Maria Parsheva, and two other pals boarded the subway at Canal Street bound for Brooklyn and someone in another group wished them "Merry Christmas."

Adler and his pal Angelica Krischanovich responded: "Happy Hanukkah."

One of the group immediately hiked up his sleeve to reveal a tattoo of Christ.

"He said, 'Happy Hanukkah, that's when the Jews killed Jesus,' " said Adler.

The group says that Adler and his group were drunk and taunting them first, of course. No one else has corroborated that part of the story, especially when the primary suspect in the assault already has a hate crime on his record. Sounds like a bunch of thugs just being thugs -- but does anyone else feel a bit nervous that this is the sort of response that knuckle-dragging mouth-breathers are going to think is a good thing?

Celebrate the holidays however you want -- Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Festivus, Winter Solstice, whatever. Nearly every religious and quasi-religious group has a winter holiday, and the early history of Christianity coopted the Roman winter festival, just like the romans coopted earlier holy days.

No one, ever, has suggested that Christians can't celebrate Christmas with all the religious fervor they can muster. What they don't understand, apparently, is that they can't force everyone else to celebrate in a way that they define.

Sure! Bring a Towel

Talk about a bad analogy -- or a complete and utter disregard for humanity. I imagine he kicked himself as soon as it came out of his mouth:

on PBS's Newshour, host Gwen Ifill asked Sen. Kit Bond (R-MO) whether waterboarding constitutes torture. Bond replied that the technique is actually more like " swimming ":

GWEN IFILL: Do you think that waterboarding, as I described it, constitutes torture?

SEN. KIT BOND: There are different ways of doing it. It's like swimming, freestyle, backstroke. The waterboarding could be used almost to define some of the techniques that our trainees are put through, but that's beside the point.

It's like swimming? It's something that we do all the time? Woah. And let's not forget: Bond is the ranking Republican on the Senate Intelligence Committee. This is the sort of expertise and advice we can expect?

The rhetoric surrounding 'waterboarding' and all the wiffling and waffling about whether it's torture by the GOP candidates and congressmen is almost surreal. At one point, they admitted that yes, it was torture but it was necessary, then it's not torture; we do it, we don't; hell, the currrent AG seems to have a hard time even understanding what it is and can't define it during his hearings. What is wrong with these people?

I'm going to suggest that the next congressperson who tries to sidestep the question by "not understanding what it is" should be used in a live demo on the floor of the Senate. Strap 'em down, tie a cloth over their face, and pour water into their mouths until they choke. Yup. Then let's see what they think of it.

And let's start calling this what it really is, shall we? "Waterboarding" is a cutesy term that implies that this is akin to some vacation activity. It's called drowning, people. Not even simulated drowning, just drowning.

And people are defending this?

Code Monkey

More Evidence

You may recall that after the Wine Festival that I posted about how we were converts to the Riedel Glasses.

We've done the testing twice now, with four different people and the results have be been the same: California Chardonnay in the Riedel glasses is not the same wine as it is in the "regular" glasses. We've been stunned by how much the wine changes in the "right glass".

So, for the Adorable Husband's birthday, I got him a set of four Riedel Single Malt Scotch glasses. He likes a wee dram now and then, and has a nice selection of very good single malts, so I thought it would be a nice addition. We tasted a very nice 18 -year-old Macallans last night...and the difference between the glasses is pretty startling.

In a standard lowball glass, the nose is harsh and more like alcohol and peat, and (at least to me) the whiskey tastes more like peat and tobacco. In the Riedel glass? Smells like malt and caramel with a hint of smoke, and tastes sweeter and more complex --less overbearing peat and more like a peat smoke.

Now we have to clear out a cabinet in the kitchen for all these glasses. Oy!

There shall be no test...

The news has been abuzz with discussions of Mitt Romney's speech this week. Given that Mitt is Mormon, and therefore suspect to a large portion of American Evangelicals, he attempted to make his religious beliefs more palatable to the foundation voting block of the GOP. He wants the nomination. Since many evangelical christians do not consider Mormons christian (in fact, many consider them a bona-fide cult), even if he is a fabulous candidate, he has a lot of ground to cover to 'win them over'.

It's not "courageous" to discuss his religion -- it would be courageous not to. Standing up and bluntly stating that your religious beliefs are personal and wholly irrelevant to your ability to do the job, that would be something newsworthy. In this campaign season, every single candidate, right or left, is trying desperately to cloak themselves in the Holy Aura of Religiosity in an attempt to garner votes. It's quite sickening, to be honest, and I would hope insulting to those people who really do believe, to have someone mouth platitudes about how they are so righteous and so pious....in an attempt to win votes.

I'm fairly horrified by this, actually. While I do understand that people want to elect a president who shares their ideas and is "like" them, this test for religious belief is certainly anathema to the founding father's ideas. We are not a theocracy. The religious beliefs of our leaders -- as long as they perform their duties well -- is irrelevant.

Well, perhaps that's not true if you believe as many evangelicals do, that morality can only come from god. And not just any god, mind you -- their specific idea of god. If you believe in a different one, or have a different collection of religious dogma and ritual, well, then you can't possibly be a good person. I really don't understand that particular piece of logic; especially since I am a staunch atheist and consider myself to be a moral and ethical person. Not sure how that fits into the idea that only religion can imbue people with morals....but I digress.

The fact that the media and the watching public seem to believe that questions such as "do you believe in The Book? Do you believe in the literal truth of the bible" and "how does your faith instruct your decisions" are valid questions in the political arena is boggling to me. I try to base my voting on whether the person in question has the same views on issues as I do, whetherthey have voted the way I want them to, and whether they have a track history of following the same issues as I do. To think that you can determine all of that just by whether someone says that they are religious, to think that you can "know everything you need ot know" based on their answer of whether they accept Jesus...well, that bespeaks a non-critical, non-thinking, non-rational mode of decision-making that I can't get my head around.

I know people who proclaim themselves to be christian who are good, honest, moral, and caring people. I also know people who proclaim themselves to be christian who are among the worst, most venal, least ethical people I know. Both would give the same answers to those questions. They'd say the same thing. If that's my only standard of measurement, then those two people would be equally acceptable candidates if I didn't look any further. And a lot of people don't seem to want to look any further than that.

Now, I would hope that most people are not using that as a single yardstick. I'm sure most people are not. I truly hope most people are not. But to make anyone's religion an issue in a political election flies in the face of our very constitution, and smacks rational, reasonable discourse about political issues a good one right on the nose. No one religious group has dibs on "the truth", no matter what they claim. I find this phony "I'm more religious-er than you!" mudslinging in each debate to be distasteful. I'm sure a lot of people do.

For once, the NYT seems to have gotten it right:

Still, there was no escaping the reality of the moment. Mr. Romney was not there to defend freedom of religion, or to champion the indisputable notion that belief in God and religious observance are longstanding parts of American life. He was trying to persuade Christian fundamentalists in the Republican Party, who do want to impose their faith on the Oval Office, that he is sufficiently Christian for them to support his bid for the Republican nomination. No matter how dignified he looked, and how many times he quoted the founding fathers, he could not disguise that sad fact.

He even trotted out that old chestnut that the founding fathers really did! Really! design us a "christian nation" and really did promote the primacy of the protestant version of christianity as the basis for our country, and god (remember, the protestant christian god, not necessarily the Roman Catholic one) had a hand in shaping America through the revolution and establishment of our government. Mitt has spent a lot of time denying that he really does believe in the basis of his own faith -- Mormonism -- because so much of it is considered so "weird" by mainstream Christians. How can that be seen as honest?

When an obviously intelligent and qualified presidential candidate has to abase himself to win the support of religious fanatics in order to be considered for nomination, we've got trouble with a capital-T, if you ask me.

It might seem that I'm picking on Mitt Romney, it's not personal (although I'm not going to vote for him, I already know that) -- but his proclamations and statements about faith have been in the forefront lately. When candidates annouce that they will let God guide their decisions, that doesn't make me feel comforted. That makes me feel very, very nervous. It should make everyone feel nervous -- it's false, it's pandering, and it's politics as usual.

Uh-Oh

I'm having issues finding a TV-tuner card that will work in my new computer (which isn't here yet, but this is a serious issue!

I can find tons that mimic DVR (recording)and all sorts of bells and whistles, but I don't want any of that. I just want a simple, "watch tv on screen" card. My current one (which is TEN years old) uses an AGP connector, which is old technology and isn't even on the new computer motherboards.

Oh, woe is me!

King (and Queen) of Instant Gratification

If I ever doubted that the Gaming computer users were driving the industry technically, I have only to listen to the plaintive comments of the Adorable Husband, whose existing computer "can't play the new game I just bought" (Call of Duty 4).

I can't pick on him too much. I've done the same thing. "What do you mean that my video card won't play my new spiffy game at high resolution? I must immediately sally forth to buy a new video card and more memory!"

Well, the Adorable Husband's problems cannot be solved with a new video card. His motherboard does not support PCI-Express, which is the current interface for video cards. Oh, there are a few older ones still around, that he could buy for his AGB-based system, but that would be like putting a tiny bandaid on a gunshot wound. Might patch things up for a few months, but even that would be an unsatisfactory experience.

And did I ask why he doesn't just play the games on the XBox downstairs on the enormous screen? Of course. But sometimes that's too much of a hassle, he says. Sigh.

Having clearly identified this as a want new computer situation vs a need new computer situation, we promptly went to Alienware to spec out new machines. What, us? Instant Gratification? Mine is getting up there in age, too, and while I'm not an avid gamer, there are a few new games that I like that don't run on my system, and -- as usual -- I can always use more space, so I'm looking for a machine, too. Besides, they offer a trade-in program for older machines, with a bonus for old Alienware machines. What more incentive do we need, we of the Propeller Beanie Geek Club? Besides, I was feeling a little left out -- he just got a new car (before me) and now is getting a new computer, too!

So, for the tech weenies among you -- both machines are Intel Core 2 2.4 Ghz Q6600 Quad Cores w/1066 FSB, 2Gig memory, 512mg geForce 8800 GT video cards (2 for him, 1 for me), 1000w power supplies and liquid cooling, and his machine has 500Gig RAID0 SATA drives, while mine has 1T of space in RAID0.

They may even arrive for Christmas.

Bush Disagrees

I'm seeing headlines all over the place that "Bush Disagrees with NIE assessment" -- the assessment that notes Iraq has no nuclear weapons program and has not actively worked on one since 2005.

Well, of course he disagrees. Every statement he's made (including some pretty ominous ones about WWIII) has targeted Iran as a serious nuclear threat. Now, I don't dispute that Iran is a dangerous country, but it appears, once again, that Bush simply ignored the real intelligence data and continued on his stated path.

THE PRESIDENT: David, I don't want to contradict an august reporter such as yourself, but I was made aware of the NIE last week. In August, I think it was Mike McConnell came in and said, we have some new information. He didn't tell me what the information was; he did tell me it was going to take a while to analyze. [...] And it wasn't until last week that I was briefed on the NIE that is now public.

I guess hearing that there was "new information" in August and not even asking a few simple questions about it -- in fact, apparently not giving it a second thought for five months -- is acceptable to someone. I guess since it's the Shrub we just shrug and say, well, he's not very inquisitive. I'm sorry, this is considered the proper way to handle things for a US President?

Now, I can appreciate the fact that the president has developed a reputation for lacking intellectual curiosity, but I’m trying to imagine how a scenario like this played out. There was an NIE, it was circulated for months, and Bush was escalating his rhetoric about Iran’s non-existent nuclear program. In August, the Director of National Intelligence told the president, “We have some new information.” At that time, according to NSA Stephen Hadley, the president was told specifically to “stand down.”

In response, Bush not only didn’t ask what this “new information” was, he explicitly ignored the “stand down” recommendation and started talking about “World War III.”

This is becoming almost surreal. And the contradictions of whether Bush received the 'stand down' order and ignored it, or didn't receive it at all (both stories came out of the WH in the last day)...I don't know about you, but I'm just feeling more confident in this administration, aren't you? Dates are flying back and forth furiously, the latest of which entirely contradict Bush's statement (and security advisor Stephen Hadley's assurances) that Bush was briefed on November 28th, even though he had two meetings with Ehud Olmert and discussed the contents of the NIE several days before.

It's not the mismatch of dates and frantic who-knew-what-when that bothers me -- although that is what is going to dominate the story, I'm sure -- it's that it's clear that the President ignored valid intelligence analysis because it disagreed with his stated plan and he would have had to actually adjust his decisions. Nope, can't do that. Must stay the course and sling whatever loaded words and actions are necessary to look like he was right.

So now, the papers are saying that Bush disputes the findings of the intelligence community (which he has carefully and repeatedly "explained" to us required time to correctly analyze the data, and did so between August and December), and he continues to warn that despite all actual evidence to the contrary, we still need to worry about nuclear weapons in Iran. In fact, the rhetoric seems to have gone up a notch.

Of course, this is being presented as a failure of US intelligence, with Bush bravely standing up and talking the big talk, but now being sadly undercut by failures of his own people to give him good information. Sorry, I'm not buying that particular steaming pile again. It's all sounding a little bit too much like the information bandied around before the invasion of Iraq.

There was no failure of US intelligence. The NIE conclusion, that Iran is not actively pursuing nuclear weapons, is entirely correct and intelligent. The failure of intelligence is entirely in the White House.

Swedish Baking

Lots of people complain about their MILs...and I can gloat that my MIL comes to my house and bakes !

We managed to avert a minor disaster, though. I was having visions of having to go retrieve them from Homeland Security possession for bringing "unidentified powder" in an airplane. We didn't think that the TSA would approve of bringing baking ingredients in ziplock baggies on the plane!

Luckily, it was easy enough to find the ingredients she needed here -- Demerera sugar and Muscovado sugar, both forms of raw cane sugar, are called for in the recipe. I have a feeling that we're going to be spending a lot of time lounging about the kitchen eating Cinnamon Buns!

Velociraptors

Remember that scene in Jurassic Park when we first get an inkling that the creature in the cage is not your average run-of-the-mill lion or tiger? That first introduction to the velociraptors?

We've decided that we need to start referring to the puppies as Velociraptors instead of Crazed Weasels.

Why? The new Game.

All I hear is high-pitched whistles and yelps and then the bushes in the back yard start shaking wildly. More yipping and shrieking and then the puppies careen out from behind the shrubbery, race like mad creatures around the yard and repeat the process every four seconds for an hour and a half.

Veloci-puppies? Puppiraptors? Whaddya think?

Today's Delicate Little Flowers

That venerable workhorse of kid's television, Sesame Street, has been released on DVD. For all of us who spent hours watching endless reruns of Bert and Ernie, Snuffalupagus, Big Bird, and the rest in the pre-Elmo age of Sesame Street, this is a fun trip down memory lane.

But the DVDs come with a stern warning that they are for adults wanting to relive their childhood joy, not for children -- the original show is now considered 'inappropriate for current preschoolers'. Huh? "For Grown-ups only".

Apparently, Oscar is too depressed and grouchy to expose delicate little children to, and Cookie Monster promotes obesity and dangerous eating habits (sometimes he ate the plate!) and Big Bird was delusional -- he was the only one to see Snuffleupagus for years. Adults befriended children (stranger danger!) and that odd relationship between Bert and Ernie is too difficult to explain to young ones nowadays. Those early episodes could damage the tender little flowers that are modern preschoolers, according to the uber-protective bunch responsible for Sesame Street today.

How many people here -- from 1969 on -- who watched this every single day ever actually emulated Cookie Monster? How many of us tried to eat the furniture? How many of us were plunged into depression because Oscar was crabby? Go ahead, raise your hands. I'm sure as many as tried to strap ourselves to rockets and cross the grand canyon or dropped anvils on our sister's heads like Wiley Coyote. It seems a few parents out there aren't too clear on the concept of television fantasy vs real-world behavior. I don't remember any kids having those problems (well, I supposed a few thought a kitchen-towel cap could let them fly like Superman)

The Guardian in the UK has expressed this very well -- with a sort of bemused horror that Sesame Street is now a dangerous influence.

It's not the psychedelic nature of the programme in its 70s incarnation that worries, but the behaviour it might encourage. Children dancing in the street! Grown men reading storybooks to kids - for no apparent reason!

Does anyone else think that this is utterly ridiculous? I never realized that children today need to be so carefuly swaddled. When, exactly, will they be exposed to anything that is not Perfect and Sanitized? Are parents no longer capable of talking with their kids about things that are different?

I'm really boggled by the desire (which seems to be peculiarly rooted here in the US) to keep children from learning about or integrating into the normal, ordinary world -- where there are conflicts, difficult situations, chores, consequences, and, well, a ton of people who don't have sunshine streaming out their...well, you know. It's as if everyone believes that a child exposed to a negative "model" will instantly and completely absorb that message to the exclusion of any other. That certainly explains the wrap-em-in-cotton-wool mentality that makes the current producer of Sesame Street say that they probably couldn't even have a character like Oscar the Grouch anymore. That just might be the most depressing thing I've heard in a long time.

I'm back!

Ok, I've been missing for almost three weeks. Sorry about that. Family crisis, holidays, you know the drill.

But this came through in the TT forum today and I just had to post. A quote from Mitt Romney, Republican candidate for president:

"Based on the numbers of American Muslims [as a percentage] in our population, I cannot see that a cabinet position would be justified. But of course, I would imagine that Muslims could serve at lower levels of my administration," - Mitt Romney

Well, by that logic, Mitt: based on the percentage of Mormons in the US, it then seems obvious that one should not be president.

What an ass.

More Tingo!

Remember The Meaning of Tingo -- that wonderful book that introduced the word uittwaian into the lingo of Chez Phouka? The author has come out with a second volumne -- Tojours Tingo. It's not available here the US yet, as far as I can see. But it's on the list!

You can take a quick quiz at the Guardian site to see how well you can figure out some of the new words.

National Cinnamon Bun Day

I just learned from my mother-in-law that Sweden celebrated National Cinnamon Bun Day on October 4. "This new tradition is just eight years old, and has become a major celebration in the country". No wonder, according to Wikipedia, Cinnamon Rolls were invented in Sweden. I married into the right family, I tell you!

I found a lovely (and possibly authentic) cinnamon bun recipe here. And This Day in History blog claims that riots broke out in 1999 when cinnamon prices rose. Not sure if I believe that one.

You'll be pleased to know that Clemson University includes it on their calendar (although I wasn't able to find the University of MN calendar, so I don't know if that bastion of Scandinavian-ness includes it!). We do have an American National Cinnamon Raisin Bread Day (9/16), but we haven't adopted this fabulous holiday (which is celebrated in Finland and Switzerland, too.

Bursting into Song

From a poster on one of the lists I frequent, comes a lovely song about the will-there-or-won't-there-be-layoffs in her office:

To the tune of My Favorite Things
Rumors run rampant and paranoid feelings
Financial cut backs and underhand dealings.
Then go the bennies and overtime pay
I don’t think that I’ll still be here come May.

Dumb stupid books about cheese that is moving
Phoney emails that say things are improving.
“Trust us” they say, “We won’t lead you astray.”
Think I’ll look later for my resume.

Managers drinking and admins are grieving.
IT got word and by droves they are leaving.
Hoping we’ll last past the next holiday.
Somehow I think it won’t happen that way

Gotta show them
In my own way
I am not their clown.
I’ll grab my Swingline and on that last day
I’ll come and I’ll burn it down!

It's too early to be discouraged, but I really don' t like my Nano novel right now. It's just not going anywhere.

I'm reminded of a quote by Flannery O'Connor:

"I am often asked if I think the university discourages writers; I think it doesn't discourage nearly enough of them."