Sunday, January 22, 2006

Gainfully Unemployed (sort of)

It's about ten to twelve, and I'm sitting at my desk having weird anxiety about not having to go to work tomorrow. Last night, I went through the normal (at least, recently) feeling of dread about Monday morning (it goes something like, "Hey, it's 10 o'clock...crap. Have to go to work tomorrow. Oh, no, wait! It's only saturday. I have all day tomorrow.")

But now, I am having that strange butterfly-in-the-stomach sensation about not having to go to work. I'm not sure that it will sink in for a few days that I really do have the time off and I don't have to think about a client or worry about the next meeting or anything else. I can't tell if it's guilt that I'm really taking all this time off, or some rebound anxiety that I can do what I want to tomorrow. That's such a novelty -- not having anythign that I have to do, not even get up at a specific time -- that I"m not sure how I feel about it. It feels right queer, I tell you.

Headed out to the local cross-stitch store to pick up the floss to start a new project and found that it has CLOSED. Gone, with a for-rent sign in the window. I realized that it had been nearly a year since I had even gone there, and felt as if I had missed out on the last 12 months of my life. I love to stitch, and I haven't done it for more than a few hours in the last year. So now I'm panicking about getting the supplies I need (thank got for the internet and Nordic Needle!) and spending my evening freaking out about not having any profressional demands on me for three months, give or take.

Here's to couch potato-ness. WIsh me luck!


Anonymous said...

Yes, we definitely wish you luck. It is really hard to change one's basic outlook and stress level.

Hang in there! You are doing the right thing.


The Tiger said...

You go girlfriend!